My bday weekend

Oh nooooo!!! it's almost over!!!! :(
it = my birthday weekend.
while JayChow is celebrating his bday somewhere in the northern hemisphere, i'm celebrating mine here in Melbourne

started on Friday...

On Fri lunch time, our lab had a joint bday party in a kid's party style.
coz our lab usually hv cake for everyone's bday, as in the next bday person buys cake for today's bday person and so on. and there are 4 of us whose bday is just back to back: 17 18 19 20 jan. So instead of hving 4 cakes in a row, we had a joint bday lunch
we prepared all sorts of sugar-overloaded food which usually appears in a party for Aussie kids:






































well except that soy bean lar :P A colleague from Japan brought that.
and there's soft drinks like Creaming soda, rasberry and solo. and the creaming soda (a pink/brown fizzy drink which tastes like the A&W root beer) is their childhood favourite.

then friday dinner...
Peking duck at Old Kingdom











The dinner is also for Marius' bday.

then sat lunch...
Crepes at Fraus with Canny (who used to do PhD in my lab, now my fren :) ) and Joy












then to a colleague's new house for her bday/housewarming/bump party
[no photo for this one]

then dinner at YingThai on Lygon
























then went to their place for mahjong... until the 'surprise' at midnite from 2 diffr groups of friends (CTG and biomed), where one from each group so happen to be high school friends.

























Sam baked the cake on the left. and my biomed frens bought the one on the right :)
stayed till 2 something am? before i went home. then dunno to sleep or not. haha... coz going for yumcha the morning 11am session. and i hv few 'new toys' to play with if i really dont want to 'waste' my bday on sleeping :P
but after shower, played with the digital photo frame from my CTG frens for awhile, uploaded some photos on fb, then went to sleep at i also dunno wat time is that. haha!

on Sunday, the real day...
woke up before my alarm which is suppose to go off at 9am.
online for a bit, installed iTunes for the nano from my biomed frens, had some of my bday cake (i woke up with a hungry tummy :P), then shower, then cut up some of the cake for Jess, then wrap Marius' other present (we already gave him one yday nite), then went yumcha at Templestowe.












then went Doncaster Westfield.
a newly renovated/extended shopping mall. the best in Melbourne so far.
then watched 7 pounds.... a really sad movie. didn't expect it to be this sad. but it's really touching.
then shopping at Coles
then Sam let me drive back to city :D hope my driving wasn't too bad. well, minus the tram 'ding-ing' at me outside europa, and the very close right turn into queensberry st, and the hump i missed, still ok ba hor... Sam and Kelv? :P

then after leaving the groceries at home, went out for dinner with YeeFei at OldTown @ Chinatown...















then home....
shower....
replying fb walls...
now blogging...
and it's 11.58pm now!!!! :S
i think this is the longest time i spent on typing up a blog entry, and with the most photos posted :)

conclusion:
had a great great bday weekend.
even better than my 18th and 21st bday!!!
thanks guys!! :)

This is my first 'proper' bday with my CTG friends,
my 2nd bday with my biomed frens,
my first one with Canny, and
my first one with YF in Melb.

and i just had my first proper xmas in melb and the first new year countdown in melb.

liang jing ru's new EP brought me to this tw drama series

and just found out that it's also the soundtrack for another chinese movie!



eh and this song is also from that same movie



then sam told me he sang that first song too

was browsing through a stranger's class photos on facebook coz a few of my friends were tagged in there. and then think think....
hmm.... i didn't seem to have a proper class photo since after primary 3 (dont remember seeing my own class photo from P4-6. i was in a diffr school). the only 'class photo' i can think of was one we took at the end of the sports day in form 5, but everyone was in our 'class t-shirt'.
then i went to look through my photo album, i have one single photo album with me here, printed hard copies of photos from trinity and some before trinity with my high school mates and a few were taken during my holiday in msia after trinity before first year uni.
and i found out there're a few 'class photos' there from high school but none were the 'formal' sitting/standing properly ones which were taken by a photographer. the class photos i hv were like from the effort initiated by our own classmates, taking in school with everyone 'gathered' around our 2 teachers, some squatting, some sitting on the fence. one other was taken at a teacher's farewell. nothing formal or proper and tend to miss out parts of somebody's face.
so erm... i dont think i remember all of my teacher's face, not to say their names lar.

只有家人可以理所当然

Happy New Year!!!!

spent my first 'new year day' in melbourne today.
for the past, i would be in msia at this time of the year. usually sleeping when then rest of the world is doing the countdown. i never been to any countdown celebration, whether it's for the new year or xmas or national day. well, the only 'countdown' i've done was for chinese new year lor. haha. will be at penang, waiting for the clock to strike, then all the fireworks that i can watch from grandma's place.
eventhough i spent my new year eve with my fren, we didn't hv the countdown bit. i think i was singing (we went karaoke) when i put up my hp to my frens which says 00:00 and that's it... "welcome 2009"!! no fireworks, no countdown. but all the wishes to each other.
hmm.... will it be too early to say it now that i want to countdown to 2010 in sydney? :D they have one of the best fireworks at the syd harbour bridge every year. and fireworks hv been my all-time fav.

still remember wat i wrote as my new year's resolution 2008.
dont think i've met all of them last year (yea.. 08' is 'last year' already) but ppl usually dont finish up wat they aim for right? :P
hvn't been thinking abt my new resolution for 2009.
dont think i want to have any of those since everyting is unpredictable.
i guess the only thing i want for 2009 is to learn to put up with things.. unpredictable ones especially.
nothing is perfect. anything is possible. so should learn to live with any changes in our lives. sometimes it's good if we can 'correct' those imperfections but if it already happened, mayb i should try to 'get used' to it? nothing is for ever.

Happy 2009 everyone!!
and i do appreciate the time u spent here. :)
*hugs*

1/4 life crisis

not sure whether this is wat i call 'quarter life crisis', or it's just another time of 'lost' in life

wasn't thinking abt anything when mum is here in melb, only think of where to bring them to eat and stuff.
then suddenly, 3 'bad things' happen in a row (well 1 is expected and 1 sort of unexpected) in 4 days.
now i'm thinking wat do i actually want.

went to a friend's phd graduation today then dinner. then catch up with some old friends after dinner.
and now i'm thinking wat am i doing in my life. wat do i really want to achieve.
during undergrad, nothing much to worry coz i keep pushing it back until i graduate.
so wat actually do i want??!! after phd, then???
and before getting my phd, in that 2, 3 years to come, does that mean my life will be the same like now until then?! i dont want!!!!!
life is short! seriously!! and unpredictable!!!
after seeing what happened recently to some ppl around me.
:( i'm so lost ):

Hate December 08'

Mum and grandma left for home late last nite.
Hate sending ppl off at the airport, coz usually I’ll cry. Including sending my bro to syd last time for the first time. And if I’m the one who’s leaving, I’ll also cry, except if I’m going elsewhere for holiday coz I’ll come back again quite soon.
Last nite, saw mum’s eyes were wet. That was the 2nd time I saw her like that at airport. The other time was beginning this year, when bro leaving to come back to aus from his holiday in msia. Does that means she’s been like that everytime I left kl to come back to aus?? or it's just for my bro

Hving my family here… is good but frustrating.
Good coz they’re my family wat.
And I hv company, bring them around, bring them eat nice food, buy them stuff that they want from here.
Frustrating coz I’m not used to how they deal with certain things like household chores.
And when I finally get myself adjusted, they’re leaving. Which means it takes weeks for me to adjust ?!?!?!?! :S
feels really stupid abt that myself coz those are things that I shouldn’t really care of and should just let them do watever since I can just revert everything back once they leave. But it took me awhile to ‘learn’ to tahan and shut my eyes and don’t care.

There’s another thing that I’m ‘遗憾' abt is not playing Rolie for my mum eventhough she asked me a few times already. Even at home, I tend to play/practice my piano when noone else is at home. Dunno why … I just feel uncomfortable to play when my family is around whereas I’m totally fine if my frens are around. :S and also I don’t hv the good mood to play Rolie with all these frustration around me.
____________________

My 2nd supervisor was just diagnosed for pancreatic cancer
Heard that it’s usually terminal. A fren’s grandfather had it and passed away 5 months after that.
______________________

Grace is still leaving. But might come back in few months? years? time.

tell me tell me.... Am I a control freak????!!!!

1) I dont like ppl sitting on my bed unless they're wearing clothes which have 'no contacts' with the 'outside world' eg clean/fresh ones from the washing. i dont wear my pyjamas to sit on my own dining chair and i only recently 'allow' myself to wear my pyjamas on my own couch sometimes.
2) I have a cloth (pillow case) on my computer chair for 'clean bums' and i'll remove the cloth if anyone else wants to sit on that chair. i myself dont sit on the chair at all if i still hv my pants from outside
3) I dont step on my toilet mats if i'm wearing my bedroom slippers.
4) I'm very anal abt ppl drying their hands with the cloth for drying cleaned dishes.

5) I dont like to share filtered pipette tips with other ppl unless i see them close the lid once they take the tip from the box.
6) I don't 100% trust most other ppl's experiment results especially when those results matter to my experiment/project.

7) I'm annoyed when ppl don't leave things back like how they find it. whether it's a glue/scissors in the office, or like turning off my printer after using. i'm perfectly fine with ppl using those things but just put them back pleeeease!!
8) I'm annoyed when mum put anything other than teaspoons (or any cutlery of that size) in the middle partition of my cutlery drainer which is meant for smaller sized cutlery.

9) I dont like last minute change of plans unless i'm expecting it to happen.
10) I also dont like having last minute plans unless i'm bored or have no other things to do. even plans that doesn't involve me but only ppl around me.
eg1 last minute saying dropping my grandma at my place and then when she is here only i was told that they coming to pick her up at 11pm. Not that i dont like hving grandma over, it's just... hullo... my place is not a 24hr on-call baby sitter place... at least let me know earlier can?!
eg2 already plan with mum and aunt to bring them to the vic mart nite market then when i happily reached home from lab at 5.15 (very rare nowadays for me to reach home before 6pm ok!!), found that aunt and xxyy are still out in the city dunno wat time they coming back, they dont hv hp for me to contact with and dunno wat time is zz coming to pick up xxyy and grandma. then ended up my grandma doesn't want to go (well, also it's not very convenient for her to go coz will get too crowded and we hv to walk there from my place, i can't drive) so someone has to stay at home with her. and coz i'm already annoyed with all those 'unexpected circumstances', i chose to stay home and have instant noodles for dinner.

11)... can't think of one at the moment

actually, I sound like a clean-freak too
but hey, if u come to my place, u'll know i'm not as clean/tidy as a clean-freak. so... mayb i'm more of a control freak?! :S

We can choose who to be our friends
but too bad we can't choose our relatives

yeay!! Grace is staying after she graduate. well to be exact, she's coming back again next year :)

gosh! i'm damn bored here!! arrghhhhh
dont like the feeling of going home from lab to my lonely apartment then hv to think of wat to eat for me and myself.
dont like the feeling of wanting to go out but noone to go out with and dunno where to go and what to do. especially on a nice sunny saturday when i 难得 not going to the lab (coz going tmr instead :S)!
some weekends, bro comes back, but i dont like to hang out with him, well rather, i dont like him!!! i dont like talking to him nowadays. coz i'm really annoyed and not happy with him as my brother. all those annoyance (is there such a word?) building up gradually for months.
really not looking forward to him moving back to melb permanently and live with me in the same apartment unit! dont know how long i can stand him for.
and if things are still like this after i graduate, i seriously need to consider moving to somewhere else, different country mayb. just like how i told my dad, i'm still single, can move anywhere easily.
s'pore is still on my list, but i still not sure abt the job opportunity there.
m'sia is definitely out of my list, not only short-term wise. not that i hate msia so much, but just that i can't see myself hving a job that i like over there.
other than that, UK mayb? or US?
well all in all, meaning that i need to build my network gradually during my phd. ppl usually do that through their collaborators overseas, or during conferences. but then, i'm not good in socialising, with the angmos especially :S
or apply for fellowships to go overseas to work for few years after graduate.
yea i know i'm only in my first year, but i really dunno wat to do with my degree or my life (and forget abt the degree?) after i graduate.

a girl from my lab, got her phd few months ago, got engaged also few months ago, hv been in our lab for the past 5 or 6 years since her undergrad (as a 'lab experience student program'), she's decided to leave the lab at the end of this yr, for a change ba? she doesnt' know where to work yet, but will definitely be in melb.
another girl in my lab, started doing her phd 1 month before me, just got offered a bonded place in the graduate med school in melb uni. she's still considering to take it or not. but i think it's very likely tht she'll take the offer.
those 2 ppl are the only ones whom i like hving lunch or tea breaks with. and now they're leaving!!!! *sob sob* moving onto the next stage of their life. of course that's good for them.
but i'll be left there with 2 less friends :(

and Grace is leaving in mid dec!!! going back to msia for good!!!! :( :( :(
so there, another close friend leaving. well, actually she's my first close friend who's leaving melb for good :(

...i really need more (new) friends...

called waipo and home just now,
didn't call them for weekssssss already.

with waipo, i hv the mood to talk to her anytime. but with my parents... especially to my mum, sometimes i'm inpatient :(
just now after talking to my waipo, decided to call home coz feel like talking to them. this is bad, shouldn't be like this, they are my parents wei!!! my big bro calls home far more often than i do. usually when my mum starts asking me how's the weather here, i'll be frowning already :( :( :(
and today, the first thing she asked me was how's the economy in australia. well i seriously dunno how to answer that, other than 'grocery price has gone up'. i dont know wat's the employment/unemployment rate etc but yea i wasn't annoyed or anything lar.
i finally ask dad where do they want to go for holiday next yr. he sounded really happy but at the end he said i should save up my money. then i insisted that should spend a bit while saving up. actually is that i really dunno wat will happen to me/them the next second, so should at least enjoy a bit while we can. sounds very pessimistic hor... but that's the truth!!
waipo also said i should save my money, well i din tell her tht i want to bring my parents for holiday lar. she started by asking whether my scholarship is enough for my living, then she went on saying hv to save, for future like buy house over here, she expects me to stay in melb (long-term wise) and she thinks i'm a person who spends a lot of money :(

nov will be a busy month for me, with my cousin's wedding, waipo and all the uncles and aunts are coming, and just now heard that there will be a 'proper' dinner for waipo's bday. she's turning 87 in nov, the day after my cousin's wedding. hopefully my cells (for some of u, that's my 'pets' at work) behave

I think i'm very stressed now.

previously, uni exam time, honours thesis writing time were all stressful but i can see when are they going to end.
but now, overloaded by lab work, 5-days a week is not enough anymore coz my big experiment worked! not knowing when's the endpoint coz it's a long expmt that goes for months depending how well the cells grow, that's more stressful. i can see cells once i close my eyes, well at least they look healthy
been hving weird and stressful dreams for 3 consecutive days already.

just woke up from one where i was in a puzzle hunting+solving 'game', like a treasure hunt where u hv to go all around to find answers to the questions given. funny thing is, my teammate was Jean (yea... sam's fren). funny coz i wasn't close to her and wat is she doing in my dream?! :P
so the whole answer hunting game was set in a jungle, like in Narnia. with some wooden huts and little rooms scattered around for us to get in and find answers. at first we really suck and dont see any other teams around us. like we're lost, dunno where to go. suddenly some weird 'lady' (human-like but can swim/fly really fast) came after us so we ran coz thought she's evil. but turned out she gave us an answer to one of the questions :S
i also met my senior (JoonWin >.<) who is another participant(?) in a 'stop' where there were a few rooms next to each other, he told us to go into each of them and there's an answer in each room.
also met Erin, who is a nice lady in my lab. always there to help me when i have problems with tissue culture (my 'pets' lar), and also good in baking yummy stuff for us. so she helped us with another question, i dont think she's another participant.
then went across this slope on the hill, where there's a blind-folded horse running up and down by itself on the other side of the fence, a guy was at the side guarding. next thing i saw is the question sheet in my hands, saying something like 'why is the fake horse running aimlessly?' so i looked at the horse again and went 'oh... it's actually a fake one' and answer i gave was 'coz it's blind-folded' :S
opposite to that fake horse hill, is another slope (we were standing between those two slopes), not as steep as the previous one, with 2 (huge) dinasours there running around. my question was something abt fossil. there're some wooden huts at the lower end of the slope. i ran towards those huts, passing through the dinasour area, one dinasour was running towards me, last thing i saw was its feet (which is way bigger than my body) over my head and i heard someone (presumable is Jean?) screaming (duno wat she screamed also) ...... then i woke up

oh and before the puzzle hunting part, i was indoor received a call from someone from the C&T department in CTG! i asked wat is C&T and she told me the full name which i've forgotten now but basically is related to lighting operation. she told me she's stressed abt the show tonite. i remember that it's a phone call but somehow i can see her face :S is not someone i knew. i remember telling her not to be scared, just be 醒目 (alert) during the show and react accordingly coz you wont know wat 'emergency' will happen, i went on abt how many productions i've done, all diffr, even same production every show could be different.
then somehow i see myself in that puzzle game liao.


day before yday in my dream, i screwed Stacey (a research assitant in my lab who juz took 1.5 days leave for thurs and fri)'s PCR. i saw myself in a lab, near the PCR machines, holding her 2 pcr tubes, 1 of them is 'crunched', kept apologizing to her, her face seriously frowning and angry. it went on for quite awhile (dunno how long lar, hard to estimate in a dream), she said she needs to insert them into a BAC (basically is a technique/experiment that she's not doing in our lab)
i said i'll repeat the pcr for her, and then her face turned better.


can't remember wat exactly is in my dream yesterday, only remember that i woke up feeling so relieved that it's not true

feeling summery

yesterday really reminds me of the days i had end of last yr, when i was writing my hons thesis, anticipating my holiday.
coz of the weather, the summery weather :)
yday was really like summer

then today, when i was tramming back from work, can feel the air-conditioning in the tram, just like how i can feel it during summer time.
not bcoz i'm wearing shorts, but i think i can also feel it on my face :P
_______________________

few days ago (or last week?) was talking to a friend abt how old i'll become when i finish phd.
i should be 27 at max.
hopefully i can get it done before turning 27

really want to finish it quick,
so that wai po can come to my graduation. she's turning 84 this yr, and she always wants to see me graduate, wants to come to my graduation. she didn't come for my last 2 (yes i had TWO already!) for some sort-of-valid reasons. so i really want to finish quick so that she can come.

and also want to finish quick so taht i can start earning some decent money! :P well yea, science wont make big money. but that's wat i can see myself in, i mean in research, at least for now. and strange (yes i'll call it strange) enough that more and more i can see myself working in s'pore! was a bit reluctant to work in s'pore all the while, but dunno why, recently.
so yea... earn more money so that i can sort of enjoy life, well of course have to keep working also lar. the stipend i'm getting now is enough for me to live on, but i dont want to spend my life just living life, i want to enjoy life, i want to travel. the world is so big out there! can't be spending my whole life on this small corner of the world.

and who knows how long i'll be alive for?
*choy choy choy*

Next holiday?

I've been thinking and planning carefully for my next precious holiday.
bro has been asking me when am i going back coz he (and his gf?) wants to 'follow me' over for holiday.
CNY next year is 26 jan. so either i go back in jan for my bday (not the main point lar) + cny, then come back to do my confirmation.
[dunno if i mentioned before... confirmation is a hurdle requirement for all phd students, well at least for science lar, by the end of the first year. it includes a 20 mins or so seminar in front of a panel of 5? and a few thousand? words introduction of ur project. heard that a phd student before the confirmation is called phd candidate, after confirmation only formally become a phd student, well noone cares abt those terms of course... too troublesome :P]
or i'll go back after the confirmation, which is the option that i'm leaning towards all the while,
but i dont want to just go back to msia for like 2 weeks then come back again. i want to travel to somewhere else, with my parents. yea... i want to be the one paying for the airfare and accomodation. too ambitious huh :$

i'm considering bringing them to hk, or tw. i wont have enough money to go to europe. then the States leh.... accomodation can be easily solved coz can stay at uncle's place, but i think it'll take too long to get the visa approved, too troublesome.
s'pore... too near... only need to drive down and then knock on my aunt's door :S
mayb china is also a good choice.... i've never been, dont think my parents been also.
if not going as a tour (meaning with tourguides and have all the fuss taken care of), it has to be somewhere that i've been to (eg HK) or at least somewhere i'm confident that i can bring them around.
tw leh.... i have a few classmates still studying there, but then i dont want to end up not hving time (to play) with my friends or neglecting my parents.

wat abt SE asia... Thailand? Vietnam? hmm.... those places usually go by our own right, as in without tourguide, or need to go there and find local guide... sounds mafan. that was my experience from my Cambodia trip, which is worth going, no doubt, but need to know ppl (who have been there) so that can arrange good local guides. i dont want to put too much effort on planning the every details of the trip and also Viet trip is really tiring (according to my aunt, she been there before).

if that's really happening, should be around april-june next year.

then after the trip, i will be totally broke and have to start saving money all over again.
i actually dont have my own savings (in aus) at all before i start getting money from my phd scholarship.

today i wish 婆婆 happy bday
she asked me if i'm back for cny next yr

:(

最近在想，读完 phd 后要继续在这里做工过下半辈子，还是去新加坡找工
在Msia是绝对找不到我要的工　ｌａｈ，for 这个 field

最近放工回到家，会想到如果有家人在就好
现在剩妈妈在家，爸爸常不在家，哥哥做工，即使他放工回家也少跟爸妈讲话的
妈妈刚打来，说哥哥手扭到要请假看医生，then 也讲她自己最近手关节痛, 看医生都没好，也顺便 complain abt 哥哥的坏脾气
常听妈妈跟我　ｃｏｍｐｌａｉｎ，更觉得在家就好，ｏｒ　ｅｖｅｎ　不在家，可以随时回去也好

终于明白之前一个朋友在他回去　ｆｏｒ　ｇｏｏｄ　前告诉我的那种心情

it's been awhile since the last blog

fri nite... hv a sudden thought abt wat can i do for this weekend if i'm home in msia instead, as in say i'm studying in kl.
i could hv gone 1U or MidValley or other shoppin malls with my parents for nothing in particular,
i could hv gone market with my mum in the morning,
or i could just online at home, then watch tw entertainment show with mum in the afternoon

is that a symptom of homesick?
__________________________________

am hving a relatively quiet weekend.
'relatively' coz something special did happen - a new camera!!
haha!

just like what happened when i bought my digital piano... went into the shop without expecting to choose/buy a camera, then just end up buying one. :$
was happy for awhile... then regretted coz cant see myself doing any traveling in near future which means no urgent need of a new camera.
sigh...
then found out the deal i got wasn't fantastic after all. i can easily get that similar deal at the sony shop which is not hving sales at all. :S just sad
after waiting patiently for the new battery to get charged, try many shots, diffr settings ... impressed by the first photo it took, then found out some imperfections, sad again...
this morning woke up, tried taking photos outside my window... felt better :P
then make a conclusion myself... the imperfection only occur when there's not enough light or i'm taking it indoor.
deep down... still bit disappointed... tsk *shook head*

吾爱中华

means i luv my high school (吉隆坡中华独立中学) lar

we always call it as 中华 but there's also a government school named 中华 (中华国中) in KL. they use to be the same one before the early 60's. wonder why the split? 独立中学@wiki
Even though
i had to study harder and study more than gov school kids (not saying they dont hv to study hard ok),
had less time to enjoy my teen-age-years,
had to spend more of my parents money (to pay for school fees and transportation to school since it's farther than the gov school that i'll go to instead),
didn't have to chance to know/make frens with non-chinese ppl,
have the impression that our english is not as good as the gov school ppl,
i'm still glad that i'd chosen this school :)

we hv good reputation academically and in sports, well i didnt' contribute much lar :P
not sure abt it now, heard that ever since the new school principal, many school principles also changed, and they're not as strict as before. dunno how that impact on the school's performance lar. look at their latest results in SPM also dunno how to compare to my year coz dont rememebr the stats le
well at least in the 2008 雪隆八独中田径锦标赛 (there are 8 独中s in KL+Selangor area), 中华 did best.

not trying to brag abt my school,
guess i still miss high school ba

没有讲谢谢, 自己会 realise, 会不安
难道我有讲的时候，人家有听进去？
笨 liao

Hershey's :)

Always love Hershey's chocolate. didn't like them this much when i was young, well uncle from CA always buy us Hershey's Kisses whenever they go to Msia (sigh.. can't say 'come' to msia d). never (get to) buy hershey's ourselves, not sure where to get in msia, coz always get our 'supply' from that uncle :) and we dont eat much chocolate at home... mayb coz of the weather? or there's other better food to eat?
until recently when i came here to study, i started to 'specially request' for Hershey's chocolates when they come to Australia (that once few years ago) or they go Msia.
I'm now eating Hershey's Miniatures Special Dark. :)
juz opened few weeks ago, still eating them slowly.

brought them over from KL (mum brought them back from CA last yr), only manage to bring 1 of the 2 packets :( melted a bit on the way but they still taste good (of course).

another favourite of mine is the Cookies n cream.
couldn't find the c n c nuggets from their website now... they not making it anymore? :(
luckily i'm not studying in america.. haha! i'll be so fat coz of those chocolates :P
or i'll be sick of them so i wont eat them as much anyway? (but i'll hv to eat a lot of them in order to get to that stage yea? :P)

Melbourne Big Freeze event 14June08


over 200 people freeze in place on cue in Grand Central Station in New York

"This is one of over 70 different missions Improv Everywhere has executed over the past six years in New York City. Others include the No Pants Subway Ride, the Best Buy uniform prank, and the famous U2 Rooftop Hoax, to name a few."

it's bizarre how random ppl can come out and achieve some random missions together.
But why can't ppl co-operate and achieve goals that are more meaningful and useful?

just a simple example happening in the tissue culture labs that i'm working in...
ppl just can't stop throwing papers, plastics or other non-bio-hazard (not contaminated and is safe to be disposed like normal rubbish) rubbish into the biohazard bins. this will cause unnecessary $$ spent to de-contaminate them before disposing into the landfill or wherever it goes to. at first there's no signs near the bin or in the labs about that... then there're laminated signs near the biohazard bins, but after few months... ppl still did the same thing. so now the cleaners have to put up signs ON the bins, like written on an 'icecream stick' and clip it outside every single bins. Is this lack of common sense? simple ignorance? bad habbit? or even worse... arrogance? ppl who use the facility.. are not 12 yr-olds, but adults, well-educated adults. sigh...

by the way... more random missions by random ppl on
http://improveverywhere.com/

“如果忘不掉过去， 那就干脆不要忘记了，
埋在心底里，做为人生故事的一部分。
那沉寂的过去， 就会变成养料。”

the HP story...

another tick for my '2008 new year resolution' :)
big thanks to sy and ss for the present for my belated birthdayss.
yup, got a HeadPhone to be used with Rolie:






It's a good hp i would say, too good for my ears. had to turn the piano volume really low, quarter of the full volume to suit my ears. i usually play rolie on half the full volume without hp, even it's during daytime that i dont hv to worry too much abt neighbours complaining.
i couldn't hear the 'noise' that i usually hear without hp,
but i can hear another noise which i normally dont without the hp. :S
and rolie sound even better through the hp.
i'm happy with the hp, but still trying to accept the imperfection of rolie :(

when i was on my way home in the tram with my new hp and some groceries, a man who sat diagonally infront of me (he was there before i got on the tram) told me that i can put my groceries (which he thought is heavy) on the seat next to him, which is the seat right in front of me. i said it's ok but he insisted, even helped me to, so i left the bag of groc on that empty seat. he saw the yellow jb-hifi bag and asked wat's inside, whether it's a mobile phone (=HandPhone!!) so i told him it's a headphone.
he said cheap headphones are crap, eg those $5 ones. then he showed me his sony headphone (which looks like one of the $60 ones) and told me how good they are even after a year.
he got off the tram one stop later.

---------------------------
we (the 3 kids) share share bought a HandPhone for my dad today.
bro told me last nite that dad's hp was dead and we browsed through the internet trying to find him a new one. which has to hv not too small screen, not too small hp size, and big buttons/keypad.
so a RM330 hp was bought today.
but he decided to swap that new hp with my mum's, which we (me n 2nd bro) bought for her beginning last yr, reason being, he doesn't know how to operate the new one :S
___________________

so, the next thing on the list is to get a victorian driving license. i've told the uncle (my uncle's friend who is a driving instructor) that i want to learn driving after he comes back from the long holiday. want to get it done before my mum and waipo comes to melb in early nov. yup, they're coming, in fact many from my mum's side of the family (all the uncles and 1 aunt, my mum and waipo) are coming! for my cousin's wedding in late nov. mum and waipo will be here for 1 month. and the day after the wedding is my waipo's bday :) wat a good timing.

Mother's Day this Sunday!!
sent mum a present (bro bought de actually) with a card last tues
but forgot to send a card to my grandmas! yup... i usually send mother's day cards even to my waipo and po po. but totally forgot abt it until today!!! since it's too late already, i'll hv to give them a call on the day.

dunno how's my grandma coping with the bad news abt my uncle. sigh.
he was diagnosed for chronic lymphocytic leukemia abt 2,3 wks ago. that's so sudden
saw him in msia and cny, went yumcha with him, my dad and other cousins in tat early morning before we left penang to kl during cny. :(
i would say that he's my dad's sibling that we're the closest to. :(
couldn't imagine that happening in my own family. touchwood!!! :(
'Survival varies from 5 years to more than 25 years.' quoted from wiki.
He's under medication now. cousin said will decide whether he needs chemo after 1 month of medication.

Before this, i was pretty 'determined' to not go back home end of this yr. but gradually, i'm thinking of gg back after my confirmation.
Confirmation is a requirement for every phd student by the end of the first 12 months.
basically will hv to get a review panel (ur own supervisors and other senior ppl in the institute) and give a presentation (<30mins, forgot le), hv to write them a short report, and literature review (3000 words i think). hv to pass confirmation in order to continue the phd candidature.

That day on the phone with dad, forgot wat we were tlkaing abt... i only remember him saying something like '...你买钢琴那边不少钱了...'. that made me really really sad.
dad never said 'expensive' to things that i've asked for, so far. well mayb coz i dont ask for expensive stuff before. coming over to melb to study.... well, i din 'ask for' it, so not counted lar!
even though i'm using my own money for the piano, but still, my heart sank...
__________________________________

walked home today, from work.
surprisingly, it only took me... 17:18-17:43 less than 30 mins!
tram takes 11mins and that doesn't incld walking to tram stop (j-walking across King St is a pain during rush hours) and waiting for the tram. so usually altogether will take me abt 20-30 mins.
mayb should do that more often, of course only when it's not too cold, not raining, not too dark.
can't be bothered to walk to work in the morning after my shower.


but i'll see someone's car on the way......

update update

My 2008 resolution:
a first 'tick' for: To own a digital piano :)
(the 2nd 08' resolution i had at the end of last yr was to get a victorian driving license)

here... meet my new Rolie.... *dang dang dang daaannggg*


















(it's actually nicer looking by the real thing)
got it last wed morning. but it has some problem with one of the keys/notes. so had to wait till fri to ask the person incharge of my order to solve the prob. went to the shop during lunch time on fri, he's gg to swap a new one for me on thurs (24.04).
so thurs... came home at 330pm, waited for the new Rolie. came at 4pm sharp!
they brought it up to assembly in my living room. (the previous one was assembled in their truck downstairs) then took back the 'old' one, i keep the stool.
and i'm happy with this new Rolie so far :)

since i got the Rolie last wed, i've been playing it almost every weekday nites , every weekend afternoons, not excluding the nite before my presentation which was on wed.

so now... i hv another new 2008 resolution:
to get a headphone for Rolie! :D
my neighbour hasn't complain yet. i had to close my windows whenever i play Rolie, and i can't play in the full volume (which means not 'syok' enough)
a Sennheiser/good(?) headphone from HarveyNorman and a Sony dealer costs >$150
a Sony headphone from Dicksmith costs around $50
hmmm......
hvn't try out their difference.
___________________________

did a big experiment (MMCT) on tues. hv done it before end of last yr, but my 2nd supervisor was there guiding me through. this time, he's not around anymore. i did it all by myself :(
hope this one works better than the previous ones (that's why i need to repeat the exp)!!

after my presentation on wed, sort of been thinking abt the 'future' of my phd project...
quite sad case coz... seems like i can only publish paper if i find the right gene (which means if i achieve my project aim). but biomedical research is not always a happy story. it depends on ur luck as well. unlike some other projects out there, whether u achieve ur aim or not, it's still possible to publish ur work coz u'll discover something interesting along the way. but for me, noone would be interested to know wat i've done in my honours last yr (i've eliminated 3 genes from being the causative gene of the particular disease of this particular group of 8 patients) , which obviously din achieve the aim. :(

in the field of biomedical science research, 'you either publish or perish'.

思路太复杂不是件好事

just some updates

went to see fireworks twice this moomba :) i recon it's better than last yr's, hv new 'variations' of the normal fireworks, and the music sort of matches the fireworks.

went to see my supervisor/boss yday.
will need to start revising all the stuff from last yr, after easter weekend.
there're 5 new ppl in the lab since i left 3 months ago. and by the time i start, the renovation in our old lab should be finished.

off to goldcoast tonite!
bro said the apartment is like a holiday resort, nothing much around the area, only beaches.
no internet in the apartment, only tv, aircon, dryer (my dryer in melb is not working) and free electricity (he doesnt' need to pay mar).
dunno wat we will do there, he's working on wkdays, not many shops around and i can't swim, so might really end up reading story book or watching tv at home all day :S
anyway, as long as we are out of melb, erm more specifically... me and my parents are out of the melb apartment, things should be alright.

Back in Melb

Have been back in Melbourne since Sunday.
Have settled all the bills, scholarship document and enrolment,
collected the new student diary and a new student card today :) happy with them
can't do without a student diary.
Have bought tix to goldcoast next week with my parents, for almost a week and is looking fwd to the trip.
Have called my supervisor this morning and will need to discuss abt those 'serious stuff' with him next tues :(

Haven't gone to the market, so dont have any unprocessed meat at home,
can only cook instant meals. and forgot to buy mian xian from asian groc today. seems like i'll hv to eat the 4th packet of instant noodle for dinner tonite

Have to save up money for
a digital piano
a digital camera
and if still hv extra money.... a laptop :P

went to change my term address on the uni website, clicked 'UPDATE', then
in red, a receipt number came out, and also a note saying that an email will be sent to my unimail to notify me the changes i made. then my uni email address was shown in red... @pgrad.unimelb.edu
this is not the first time i realise that my uni email has been changed from @ugrad to @pgrad. but seeing it still made me feel so 'grown-up' (a better word for 'old')

gg back to KL tmr... from Sg
which means gg back to Melb in less than 1 week time...

_____________________

am annoyed when ppl behaves 'un-civilised-ly'
(not that i'm very civilised... but... o well)
am annoyed when i'm feeling unsafe
am annoyed when i dont have my freedom to do wat i want to
am annoyed when the weather is too hot

therefore u might think that i always get annoyed in KL (and probably in SG as well)
but...
I actually spend most of my time at home
or rather.. mayb that's why i spend most of my time at home
>wu2 nai4<

Just found out that my high school classmate has got a baby, who is 5 months old already!
but i'm still studying and will be studying for the next 3 or so years

the news of her getting married shocked me last year

anyhow, as long as she is happy and xin4 fu2 :)

i hate lizards!
there're quite a few of them in our kitchen and dining room
one of them just 'ate' my tauge today when i was having problem fixing my webcam.
_______

a song by a biotech company, for their new PCR (Polymerase Chain Reaction, ghee i still remember them!) machine:



lyrics:

The PCR Song
There was a time when to amplify DNA,
You had to grow tons and tons of tiny cells.
Then along came a guy named Dr. Kary Mullis,
Said you can amplify in vitro just as well.
Just mix your template with a buffer and some primers,
Nucleotides and polymerases, too.
Denaturing, annealing, and extending.
Well it’s amazing what heating and cooling and heating will do.
PCR, when you need to detect mutations.
PCR, when you need to recombine.
PCR, when you need to find out who the daddy is.
PCR, when you need to solve a crime.
(repeat chorus)

Happy birthday to me

it's my birthday today
and it's still my birthday now
so?

My dream car

I was driving this red Alfa Romeo in my dream last nite... :)

I'm proud of my high school classmate :D

http://www.chinapress.com.my/topic/school05/default.asp?dt=upeople&art=20080103people.txt

finally i'm back online :D

have spent the most money this holiday...
spent 600 for my retainer today :S
ya... after so many years without retainer, i finally decided to make a new one. i wore braces when i was in high school. but din put on the retainer ever since i go to melb. really really regret but it's already too late. my teeth is not perfect anymore :( but at least now i'm doing something to prevent it from getting worse.

looking fwd to the hk trip next weekend.
but more looking fwd to sg trip next month.
wahaha

原来吉隆坡市中心的夜景也可以很美
原来开快车真的很爽

I miss my plant in melb, everytime i pour away unfinished water from my cup.
I miss my bed and all the stuff i have on my bed in melb, every night before i sleep.
sounds like I miss melbourne... or rather... i miss the apartment...

my longest holiday

this is my longest break since trinity. and also my longest 'stay' at home since trinity.

i'm home for more than 1 week now.
sort of feeling boring at home, so far i've been watching drama series, play computer game, online, eat. din go out much. only been to klcc (coz of pc fair), pasar malam, the hairdresser nearby, 2 restaurants, the dentist, the optometrist, oh and Penang for 3 days.
looking fwd to wed, going to midvalley, meeting up with yf, and hopefully can do some shopping there.

seems like the HK trip is going to be on.
end of jan. hope that i'll enjoy the trip with my aunt. mum MIGHT go.

dont feel like going home... how arr?? :(

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health You should strongly consider majoring in Nursing, Athletic Training, or related majors (e.g., Chiropractics, Nutrition/Dietetics, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Radiologic Technology, Rehabilitation Services, Respiratory Therapy). It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal. Biology/Chemistry/Geology 69% Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 69% Visual&PerformingArts 56% Physics/Engineering/Computer 56% Education/Counseling 56% Religion/Theology 56% HR/BusinessManagement 50% Psychology/Sociology 44% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 38% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 31% Mathematics/Statistics 31% French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 31% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 25% English/Journalism/Comm 19%

光良 卫兰 - 童梦 (Live)

There's also a mandarin version of this song.

less than one more month, i'll be home...
that's faster than i expected. used to think that i'll hv heaps of time here chillin in melb before goin home, but now it seems like 3 weeks is too short for me.
well, not that i wont come back here again, but it'll be a different 'stage' next year. either i'll be still a student or i'll be looking for a job.

i'm hving a second thought now whether to do a phd next year. mainly becoz of the other colleagues, or should say 'potential colleagues' in the lab. din get along too well with them, as in dont hv much common topics for conversation, dont 'bitch abt other ppl' with them.
but they did show good moral support for me this year, with my talks, thesis, experiments. i'm getting mix messages here. or it's probably my communication problems, or my poor english?

on the other hand, i have a really good primary supervisor and a good project.

finally finished my talk today!!! which means, that's the end of my honours!!!!! woohoo!!

erm... well, i wasn't feeling as excited as the day i handed in my thesis. mayb i was too excited then, so now dont feel as much already.
or mayb it's sad coz noone's there to 'celebrate' with me :(

There are 4 things you cannot recover...
the stone after the throw,
the word after it's said,
the occasion after the loss,
the time after it's gone.

sigh... i'm here, thinking and feeling regret of wat i said 4 hours ago.

wed is my final presentation, the last 'task' for my honours. and i've had 3 practice runs already so far since last wed, and today's the last one. my supervisor finally said that he's happy with my presentation. But i know that i still dont do well in answering questions from the audience. he threw a number of questions to me and i couldn't answer them confidently and well enough, and i know that.
he asked if i want to practice that, by throwing more questions to me tmr, he also said that it's more helpful to hv ppl asking u questions to practice, rather than trying to answer it or practice by urself. but i didnt want to practice anymore tmr. mainly becoz i'm lazy to go all the way (not very far tho, i know) to RCH. :( it's a very bad reason. so now i regret. :(

and even if tmr morning i said i want to practice, it's not very nice lar.. as if he's there 24hr standby for me. so... sigh... my supervisor is really concern abt my presentation, that's why i had 3 practice runs in less than a week!!!
and wat's worse is... i said i'll give him a call tmr morning if i want to practice!! can't belive i said that! tsk tsk tsk :$ :$ :$ :$

now can't do anything to change it le, can i?


and i'm not goin to strawberry picking anymore on thurs :(

woohoo!! Jay's new songs are good
he's hving his concert in s'pore in jan!!
and this is his new movie coming in 2008 灌篮, directed by 曾志伟

that's the 3 copies of my thermal-bound, 12955 words, 93 pages (incld 5 pgs of references and 8 pgs of appendices), single-sided, single spacing, 2.5cm margin.
worth 60% of my whole honours mark!
my 10 months of hard work!!
well, abt 8 months of lab work + 4 weeks writing up
hv been sleeping for less than 6 hours each day in average for the past 2 or 3 weeks (except the previous weekend :P)
almost forgot abt my bro's bday until i saw the expiry date on my bread;
almost missed my aunt's bday which is tmr when i usually send her card one week before;
totally forgot on which date am i goin home.
it's all over now!!! well, almost... one more presentation to go!

2008's Resolution

my 2008's Resolution:

• get a digital piano
• get a victorian driving license (which means i hv to practice more when i go home)
  

i know it's a bit early... but today, it's exactly one month before my Honours year finish and when my holiday starts! :D
that's the only two things i can make sure i do them, the others... can only depend on my luck and my results and other stuff that i can't 'control'.

was tram-ing pass spencer street station and skybuses...
can't wait to get onto the aeroplane, go back home, go cambodia, or actually, anywhere away from melb

今天又被 supervisor 问 thesis 写到怎样了，感觉就像被爸爸问功课做到怎样了...

this morning, i was really blur...
but my supervisor is also blur... or even worse? coz at least i did realise the mistake 4 hours later
or just because he trusts me?

Royal Melbourne Show 07

Finally been to the royal melbourne show. first time in nearly 5 years since i came to melb :S
went to buy tix on friday from the postshop,
checked for the events from the daily planner at the website,
browsed through the showbags at the website,
checked train timetable.

today, without waiting for yf to finish her lunch with her fren, me and grace took the train to showground from flinders :P so yf came to join us there later :$ paiseh ar yf, we never wait for u

spent like nearly 2 hours in the showbags hall.
conclusion is: dont buy stuff from showbags until u finish walking around the showground. coz u can get stuff like the inflatable toys by itself outside the showbag hall.

walked around, headed to the pig racing but din actually watch it coz we found that open air circus should be more interesting than that, so walked to the circus place and they said they cancelled it coz of the strong wind!! :S
so we walked to the dog show... but they already finished the show! they never follow the schedule printed behind the map that they gave us!! :S
so we ended up watching sheep shearing. >.<

had fish and chips and krispy kreme for dinner
then yf went home.
left the two of us there.

wondered around, trying to find homer/bart
we asked the two ladies carrying a homer where she got it from,
1 min later, their guy fren who won that homer came to us with the homer, and gave it to us! just shocked, and also felt suspicious
but still, we happily walked around the games area with the homer and some showbags and the inflated baseball bats. :P
played the basketball game, won a small tigger after the guy gave me 3 extra chances. sigh.. but still couldn't get all in to get the bigger toy... 失败失败 dont ask me i thrown in how many times... forgot liao...

after the 4x4 and motorbike stunt, laser and firework show started at 845 for 15 mins. went home after that.

met a homeless guy at the tram stop. he came to talk to me abt my inflated baseball bat, where he went, his medibank card, his injured toes... dunno how to reply him when he asked me which tram i'm taking, incase he have bad intention
then he got on the same tram as me! and he got up from his original seat and came to sit infront of me! he asked where i'm goin, i'm so scared and dunno wat to tell him.
he got off at souther cross station, i asked him where is he catching the train to, he asked me to come nearer and whispered to me that he's homeless, and told me to shhh....

abt 1hr later... homer is in the garbage bin...

i'm bored....

how many times do i need to tell you that i dont have exams anymore and i'm still busy with my project and thesis??!!!!

郭靜 & 范瑋琪& 張韶涵 - 仨人

mum asked me to call home coz dad said long time (since his bday) never hear my voice liao. but i told her i'm busy, hvn't cook dinner, hv things to hand in tmr which i hvn't finish. and said i'll call tmr instead.
felt bad...
so i called home while i was eating my dinner.

talking to dad,
frustrated abt hving to explain to him abt the 'project structure', like why do i need to go to lab on weekends, why only me in the whole office goes back to work on weekends.
almost 2 months left for my hons year and i still need to explain this kind of things to my parents.
all becoz of the lack of communication...

a number of my frens and coursemates graduated today.
刚刚就去看回我以前（也就是去年loh）毕业时拍的照片，又想起以前 biomed 时的日子，比起现在今年，真的差太远了。以前是为了考试时读书或有时 ctg 所以没准时吃，也很少是因为做功课，而现在是常常因为做 labwork 而没吃好没睡好，更别说放假。越想就越觉得可怜。但也是自己拿来的。
我也有在读 honours 的朋友可以 weekend 不用去 lab,　几乎每天还可以五点回家的。

捱多这几个月，接下来还有几年要捱？

今天是爸爸的生日。
早上打了电话给爸爸，从 trinity year, 每次跟爸爸讲长途电话，挂电话前他都会在电话的另一端 give me a kiss，然后我就会哭了。
听爸爸说二哥会给他一个 bday surprise 问二哥他又不讲，
突然好想家...

小时候，父亲节、母亲节什么的都会做卡片给爸妈
现在大了，只有买张卡寄回去
......

i think i really need a break, away from my project.
i'm feeling lack of motivation and moral support now.
I didn't feel worried or sad when my experiment failed before this. but now, any little problem made me feel like giving up.
today, well just 2 hours ago, i left my agarose gel to set on the bench and went for afternoon tea. 20 mins later when i came back, someone shifted the combs in the gel! and of course the gel was set and i can't do anything to rescue it. had to throw the gel away and make a new one. eventhough the whole thing is not hard to make at all and it'll take me 8 mins to make the gel and 10-15 mins for it to set, but i nearly burst into tears when i saw the shifted combs in my gel.
i'm sure the person who did that did it unintentionally. and i think i know who that is coz she used the other equipment which is just behind my gel. well there could be someone else who was there just that i wasn't sure. but anyway, i dont want to know who that person is and tha'ts not important.

i need a break...

鉴定结果
您的心理年龄24岁

与您实际年龄差2岁

幼稚度36％

成熟度61％

老化度11％

how would you let your friend(s) know that you don't like the bday present they got you?
or you won't want to coz 'it's the thought that counts'?

can't believe this

yesterday, left for home at 4.45pm, went to pick up some documents on my way home. reached home before 5.30pm, had my early dinner while watching 'Deal or no deal'. finished dinner, felt empty but hyped up (becoz of the 3 ferrero roche that i had before my dinner?) then suddenly remembered that i didn't turn off one of the equipment that i used this afternoon (but it's ok to leave it on actually), sms Canny to see if she's still in the lab and can turn it off for me.

while waiting for her reply, i feel like goin back to work in the lab. then i went...
5 mins after i left my building, realised that i forgot to bring my key card to the lab. >< walked all the way back and went out again.
reached there before 6.30, bumped into my supervisor at the hospital entrance. he didn't say much, just a 'hi chern' and gave me a smile.

left the building at 9.25pm, the cleaner was still there doing her job. i actually felt safe with her around somewhere on the same floor.

--------
and today, after Max Brenner-ing with the few ppl from my lab, i dont feel like going home. so i walked around in melb central, went into borders and i bought some books!!!
that is very unusual for me, coz i dont read, so i dont buy book!
well, thanks to the new harry potter book. since it came out few days ago, i went to borders one day (before today) and almost bought the book while they are on '3 for 2'. and today, i really bought them. two HP books and a David Baldacci (i never heard of his name before this) book.
or mayb coz i hvn't been reading (textbooks) for these few months since april, i miss books?! :P

hope i'll finish reading all these books, coz one of the reason i dont read (storybooks) is bcoz i usually stop reading it after a few pages (except the first 3 HP and DaVinciCode)

Friday, ~5.30pm, lab
i was still doin my work and the cleaner came in to do her work, she usually starts her work at around 5pm till 9 something (or even later?)
cleaner: it's friday, you should go home early
me: yea i know... i wish i can.
cleaner: well, at least you know you're here helping someone.
me: yea... (smile)

then i thought... helping someone? but i'm doin my own project.
after a few minutes, i'm still thinking wat she means...
oh! i think she means i'm doing medical research, helping the sick ppl.
awww.... touched*

moral of the story is:
see how selfish i am and how she has a big heart

just realized that i haven't been turning on my windows media player for the past 2.5 weeks when my aunt is here! i miss my songs so much! feels so good now with the music on. :)

It's been long since i last blogged here.
my aunt from S'pore came to visit me for 2.5 weeks. She's leaving this Sat.
She works in S'pore at NIE, so whenever i go to S'pore for holiday, i'll stay with her. She's quite close to me since i was young. She's not married. For things that happen to me in uni, or in my work now, I can talk to her but i dont like to talk to my parents abt those stuff. Maybe just because she understands more than my parents do. Mayb because she's a lecturer in NIE, she understands uni student (like me) better?
and also, i won't be able to study in Australia without her financial support.

but last week, i started to get a bit frustrated with her. I know i shouldn't. coz all she did was, giving me advise on some of the what i would call 'common-sense' stuff, or things that i've already knew or thought of. I have this problem as well when my parents came end of last year, for my graduation! :(
whole week last week, i woke up early to go to the lab early, to avoid any potential conflict, not because i i'm so hardworking.

then last weekend, it became slightly better, when i tell myself that she's going back soon. and i should be good.
So this week was good, so far. I took half day off Tuesday, to bring her out.

sigh... now i'm feeling a bit sad. It's always like this.

sorry... i'm here to grumble again...
seems like not many good things happen to me
ppl who are not interested in the details my lab experiments, you can basically skip this blog entry.

this time is abt PAUL.
PAUL is annoying!
he's old and dodgy, but my supervisor still likes him.

twice already, becoz of paul, i had to go back to the lab all the way, once from home 7.55pm tram, the other time was just now, 8 something, from the city and with my aunt who came visit me here in melb.

oh by the way, PAUL is the name of a PCR machine in our lab
we have 3 PCR machines, and they all have names - CHAD, BRAD and PAUL
CHAD and BRAD are the newest ones we have.
PAUL is an older model so there are some settings that have to be done manually
and he can't hold completed PCR at 4 degrees, instead, sometimes they'll be at 24, 25 C or even 29, 30C like just now!
high temperature is bad for DNA (oh... PCR is a reaction to make more DNA from a minimum amount of DNA as starting material)

i was right at the first time, luckily i went back to check the settings
but this time, i was too paranoid coz i had the settings right before i left at 5.30pm but when i went back just now, it was at 30C!

i've been repeating my PCR for so many times already and they aren't working until this afternoon.
so if this one is screwed (which i'll know on monday), i'll blame PAUL totally!

I did explain to my supervisor abt my concern with using Paul, but he said room temp is ok for DNA, that's considering 24C as room temp, but now it's 30C!!!
luckily i didn't leave it for overnight (which i planned to go back to the lab only on tmr morning).

i think i have communication problem
or mayb it's a language barrier thing
but it's probably because my life is too boring to be talked abt

can't wait for the end of tmr!

is my mind too complicated?
or my life is just complicated?

i'm very pissed and unhappy and upset recently!
i know... so long since i've updated my blog and now i'm behaving like this.

it all started on Sunday when i realised that i have to submit my PR application by 14th June or else i'll hv to wait till i finish my honours. Can only blame myself for that coz i didn't read the information properly until that Sunday.
It was suppose to be a happy weekend. until Sunday morning.
After hitting that panic button, started gathering my documents, decided to make appointment with migration consultant for Monday asap, appointment for health check, print out forms etc.
Monday, took a few hours off (which means half a day off) to see the lawyer at QueenSt. That was a big relief coz he is very friendly and answered all my questions nicely. unlike the previous experience i had with another lawyer, who changed attitude when started talking about consultation fees and not willing to tell me much stuff.

Then Monday night, found out that the birth certs that were certified and translated to English in Penang are total crap! not certified properly, not photocopied properly! there goes my second panic button!
called home, sort-of-scolded by dad for not checking the docs properly when i received them from my uncle etc... i was at the point of giving up this whole application process at that night.

Tues morning, took half day off again to settle my stuff, calling immigration office to ask some stuff, sent some files for my bro online, certified most of my photocopied docs, came out with a solution for the birth cert (more abt that later).
and tues, some ppl were suppose to change the carpet at the corridor on our floor. we were told to leave our doors opened. but before i left home at 1130am, still no sign of them coming.
when i got home at night, saw that my hsmate did this round's washing (basically means putting in clothes into the machine, wash powder, softener, pressed and turned a few buttons and dials on the machine) and dried the clothes on the rack. that was one of the big smile for my day!

Today, mum and dad went to get those birth certs certified by a lawyer in kl, and sent them to me via registered mail. then they told me that each signature costs RM50! so altogether RM350 (seven copies including 3 of my bro's), plus the mailing costs which is RM66! you do the sum! courier the original documents to me wont even cost half that money!! certifying docs here in melb doesn't cost a single cent!
when they told me in the afternoon (when i'm in the office) that the certification costs RM50 each, i thought she was just making that up and just want me to feel bad. but just now, she told me again and the mailing cost. and she said last time in penang, it costs the same.
They never told me that they need to pay for that in Penang. what i know was my aunt asked her fren to do it. and last time when i told mum how much it costs to translate docs here, she said cheaper back there. so fine! let her do it in penang!
but now, she's telling me all this!

i'm just upset that i wasn't being told the truth since the beginning. ok, mayb they just want me to feel better at that time, then, why tell me now??!!
and on mon night, dad blamed me for not listening to him when he suggested to let uncle bring me the original documents.

or maybe they didn't know what have been going through my mind?
i've thinking abt wat's best and easiest for them and now it turned out to be the opposite.
and telling them more abt wat i'm thinking doesn't equal to making things better.

hope all this chaos will end on 14th june 2007!
wish me luck!

what if...

After a phone call, someone from our lab had just rushed to the hosp in Dandenong to see her family (grandfather i think) who was very sick in the hosp. She was in tears as soon as she heard the bad news on the phone.

Then i thought.... what IF something bad happens to my parents, or my bro, or my grandma in M'sia and i'm STUCK here in Melb?! :(
even if i go to the airport straight away to catch the next flight back home, i wont make it there until at least the next 10 hours!

I miss NZ
miss holiday
miss home
miss mum, dad and bros
miss camp 06
:(

空...

空...
是空虚？
还是空闲？

guess i'm both.

Time to work harder for my project. But then, sometimes it's not that i dont want to stay back late and do more work, but i depend on other ppl to do my work. I have to wait for them to teach me certain things before i can carry out on my own. And i still depend on the presence of my supervisor, eventhough i dont need him to be at my side watching me doing the experiment, but in case i'm screwed, if he's around in the office, there's someone for me to ask.

Monday, goin to do a western blot, which i've done a trial run by my own which was a successful one, last week. So Monday, eventhough i can only start this 1 whole day + half a day experiment after lunch time (coz i need someone to show me how to quantitate the protein before i can do the experiment), i decided to stay back late after hours to do it so that i wont waste the other half of my day doing nothing. And also this time, i'll be doing the experiment with the phD student in my lab, she'll be doing with her samples, i'll be doing mine. different samples, same technique.
and tuesday is the AGM for MCRI, which will take up almost half of hour day. So if i dont start my experiment on monday, i'll have to wait till wed and half of thurs. The AGM will be held in the ACMI at fed sq, followed by a lunch.

My parents went to Cameron Highlands for a weekend last week but i forgot abt that although my mum told me few weeks ago. It was mother's day last sunday. So when i called mum's hp, they're at Cameron already. For those who dunno, Cameron Highlands is one of the tourist spot in m'sia. not too far from KL (can't remember how many hours drive but definitely less than 3 hours i think). i've been there once, according to my parents, not long after i was born, which means i was still a baby who doesn't know anything. haha!
when i signed into msn after 5pm in office, Mum was online too and asked me if i want to see the photos they took at Cameron. so bro sent all of them to me just now.
photos aren't great, as in no spectacular scenery or wat, but i was really happy to see that the both of them are having a good holiday there. Mum just retired from her work this year. Dad sort of retired last year. Unlike some of my friends, our family couldn't afford to go on holiday every year. So eventhough this is just Cameron Highlands, i can feel that my mum is really happy. and i'm happy for them too. :)

Now i'm the only one still studying, still need financial support from my parents. I really hope that my parents can have the opportunity to travel more.
Mum's going to the states (where my uncle and his family live) this June, together with my other aunt and grandma. Dad said he couldn't go coz he has to take care of the house! but my bro will be at home anyway coz he needs to work! So... :(

sigh... when can i earn enough money to let my parents enjoy their life more?

______________

yday morning, when i was waiting for the lift to the office, a question struck me when i saw a slightly disabled kid.
'how will you react if their child was born with disability?' even if it's just a cleft lip, or a facial feature that 'doesn't look nice enough'? will u still love your child??

all over...

It's over...
last show on Friday night.
Wasn't able to focus during the day in the lab. Did a few stupid mistakes when doing DNA　extraction for a few samples. :S But consequences aren't too serious lar.
Was later than i planned when i finish my experiment and leave to uni. Partly due to my careless mistakes.

Last chance to watch the show, last chance pulling the curtains, last chance at the backstage of the theater, last chance in the dressing room of the theater. so much memories!
This last show, for the first time, I did the English voice over announcement just before the show started. The one saying welcome, thnx sponsor, no smoking eating drinking in theatre etc. So after this production, i had a taste of almost every position in a theater production:
costume & makeup (2007), props (2006), sets (05,06), backstage (05,06), sound (05 in cmg), APM (07), and i say this production i'm also a 'part time assistant SM' :P, pull curtain, on headset (dunno how to spell 'cans'), VO announcement.
so left the lighting and projection departments, usher and the admin team.

and surprisingly, noone cried at the end. Thought i'll be emotional.
we (me, jingying and fred) gave the director, SMs, department heads, designers and operators each a small souvenirs that we had made: a laminated printed group photo with our few words behind the photo. (fred didn't prepare any for ourselves!! :( ) spent a few hours to write the little notes on wed night after the rehearsal. was up till almost 4am eventhough had to work the next morning. but still couldn't finish all the 27 notes. (sam, shiyang: those are the 'notes'/'love notes' that i wrote after the supper on wed :P) continued in office and the tearoom the next day :P
and at the end of the show, the three of us gave everyone in the production and most of admin ppl each a tulip. i went to ordered them on monday night, jingying and fred went to pick up on fri afternoon. the tulips were hidden somewhere in the theatre until the very end of the show :)

The post-production supper was crazy! everyone's busy writing each other's booklets! we occupied the second floor of the restaurant. and it's like a market! almost a hundred of us i think, or even more. should hv taken a photo of that market.

went home straight after supper. super tired...


had my IELTS test the next morning 8.30am. which means i only slept for 4 hours before the test.
the test was ok i think. not hoping to get too good results, as long as it's enough for me to apply my PR. yea... production's over, no excuse to not do my application now.

Went to Bobby's hs for bbq at ard 5pm.
i think this is one of the best party at Bobby's. more than 30 ppl were there last nite. built bbq pits, set up the pits, cook the food, eat, some ppl watched Saw3, play mahjong, then most ppl got together and play the 'killer game'. that game reminds me of the ctg camp 2006. :( that was one of my good memories in my ctg history.
they're having a camp this year too. in july. still hvn't decide whether to go or not. it's on the last fri-sun of uni winter hol. but i hv no holiday! so even if i go, i can only go after work on fri nite.

leaving bobby's hs last nite was a bit sad... coz that might be the last time i ever go to that hs, see the two doggies (one of them ate the crab meat ball that i bbq-ed for so long!!). seeing bobby and JiaLing waving gd bye to us outside the house was like quite sad. :(

Had an 8 hours sleep till 11am this morning.
woke up and thinking wat to do today... the first question i ask myself was... 'any ctg stuff to do today?' starting to hv a bit of the 'post-production syndrome' this morning. But then not as bad as the past. hmm...
went to lab at 1230, till 230 to do tissue culture. then to return Grace's dvd. then did some grocery shopping. never had time to go grocery shopping since last weekend.
came home and cooked dinner. 2 weeks since the last time i cook a proper meal at home! the other thing i cooked in this 2 weeks at home are once or twice instant noodles/instant udon noodles. had been eating out coz of rehearsals and shows.

was planning to finish my bioinformatics analysis tonight but... until now, 8.40pm, hvn't started doin it yet. :P just lazy!

hvn't been blogging for long long time
coz i've been busy working, handed in my lit review last fri, finished my practice talk on wed, goin to have my real talk next tues (it's my honours hurdle requirement), and CTG-ing!!

last nite was our first show. yea.. once it's started... it means that it's goin to end soon :(
during the show, my job is to pull the front curtain and let the stage managers know when the casts are ready on the stage before the light goes on. i'm standing on a chair, with my little torch (which gives out purple light) and script, on the headphones, and pulling curtain is not a 'pleasant' job coz it hurts ur hands!

did a few mistakes last nite, not with the curtains, but with the casts. for 1 of the scenes, didn't manage to see whether the cast is ready already (it's total black behind ) and i told SM that casts is ready.. so the light went on but no cast there :(

they did put up some light for us after the curtain is closed, and lights off just before the cast is goin out to the front curtain. but if the cast is suppose to get on stage from the right (i'm standing on the left), i coudltn' really tell properly who is who. all i can see is the movement of the person and curtain. and that's how i 'predict' that they are ready or not. :(
but anyway, last nite's show was great! audience response was very good during and after the show. i was sooo happy and touched when the audience gave response during the show. nearly cried during the curtain call (for those who dunno, that's when the casts go on stage and bow after the show ends). ya... i know.. it's only the first show. :(

i'm very happy with the ppl in my lab. why? coz i can feel the love. haha!!

1) wed was my practice talk in our weekly group meeting. the grp meeting is for our lab (the research and diagnostic part of the group) and the clinical group of ppl from 9th floor. so if everyone turns up, it'll be abt 18 ppl. but that wed, only ppl from our lab turned up. which is good! well, the others probably din come coz it's just my practice session and nothing else is important (usually there's 1 speaker presenting a paper or 1 speaker presenting the work they've done). so great! my talk went from 4.25pm for 15 mins. then, everyone stayed back and went through my slides one by one to give me feedback! and it went till 5.30pm! usually ppl just can't wait to go home at 5pm sharp. but this time they stayed back and not just listen to wat my supervisors have to say to me, but they joined in to give constructive comments!
i'm just happy :)

2) and i've told my supervisor abt leaving early for the shows these two weeks and he's absolutely fine with it being supportive.

3) and yday, i left work at 430 and all of them know that i hv my first show that nite and wished me good luck. and canny was on her mobile phone when i said bye and walked out of the office. she ran out of the office with her phone still one and wish me good luck!
i'm just happy :)

I've got my results back from my exam few weeks ago and also the bioinformatics assignment which was handed in last month. and i'm happy with the results :)

see... all these little things that made me happy in the lab/office eventhough my experiment didn't work well/still hv lots of lab work and comp work to keep up etc my mood changed as i stepped into the theatre.
5 semester in ctg so far and this is definitely goin to be the last one. i'm most happy while i'm a crew in the first 2 semesters and as the workshop manager last yr first sem. but since then, last sem, this sem especially i'm not 100% enjoing my 'job'. this sem is really a frustrated and dramatic one for me. it really chaned my perspective to many ppl in ctg, this includes lots of disappointments. it's probably wat that makes me decided to end my 'life in ctg'.
it's very contradicting. i love ctg but at the same time i hate ctg.

so for now, i'll try my best to enjoy this last few days of ctg while i can. i'll definitely miss it after it's finish.....

too much to write
too much to think
too much to do
too much to settle
too much to worry

I'm not a good 'boss'
i dunno how to communicate properly with other ppl in the hierarchy.
i dunno how to persuade ppl to follow my way.
i dunno how to make decision, think properly when i'm in front of a 'mess'.
i'm easily moved by other ppl's words.

and i care wat ppl think abt me!

Finally...

Finally i can sleep in today! and maybe tmr and Monday! :D
miss those uni days when u can just sleep at 3am and wake up after 12pm during holidays or weekends. Now, i'm very aware of public holidays (coz those are my only hols).

Haven't been blogging for quite some time now.
My exam, my last exam ever, just finished on Monday.
Had a crazy weekend before that Monday. So if i really end up with shitty results, i can only blame myself :S
It's time to start my new task - literature review which is due end of this month

Yday, I received easter eggs from frens and colleagues for the first time in my life!! hahaha!
LiJeen (a biomed fren doin honours in MCRI) gave me the biggest one with a little ribbon tied around in and a little note attached;
a sales rep gave everyone one little egg (hazelnut filled, and some crunchy bits too);
Alycia (another biomed fren doin honours in MCRI) gave me 3 little eggs (I gave one of them to Canny after i tried one out and it's really nice :P);
Erin (the motherly research assistant in the diagnostic lab of our group) gave each of us 3 sugar coated ones and 2 other paper wrapped ones).


Had a good gathering with old Trinity frens last night. Ezien came to Melb from HK before flying off to Syd for her training. So Fendy and Eway etc organized this dinner gathering at Manchester Lane. Good food (i wasn't there for the food but heard it's good), good music, good company :) I guess this is the best gathering we ever have since our second yr of uni (my housewarming party was quite a good one in yr 1 yea?), as in the few who dont usually turn up, came last nite.

ok.. grumble time...

I've reached my lowest body weight in these 4+ years since i came to Melb (well, i seldom weigh myself before that). Then just few days ago, had a diarrhea. Issit just stress or no proper eating habits?

and this production really made me change my thoughts abt some ppl... most of them are disappointments. How can the relationship between ppl change so quickly? well, months? years?

and i'm tired of explaining to ppl (uni students) that i'm doing honours now, wat i do in honours, how's my 'working hours' like, i dont follow uni holidays etc...
and i'll be 'off' when ppl seem to think that my honours life is an easy year etc...

I want a holiday! I need a holiday! even just a weekend away from the Melbourne city.
sometimes when i'm doing my work, i'll daydream abt holiday-ing in Syd and NZ. really miss my holiday in NZ last year with my parents and bro. :(

and i need to start doing something for my PR application. heard that they'll change the rules in a few months time. :(
will be taking my IELTS test the day after bump-out! :S 8.30am exam!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH