1/4 life crisis

not sure whether this is wat i call 'quarter life crisis', or it's just another time of 'lost' in life

wasn't thinking abt anything when mum is here in melb, only think of where to bring them to eat and stuff.
then suddenly, 3 'bad things' happen in a row (well 1 is expected and 1 sort of unexpected) in 4 days.
now i'm thinking wat do i actually want.

went to a friend's phd graduation today then dinner. then catch up with some old friends after dinner.
and now i'm thinking wat am i doing in my life. wat do i really want to achieve.
during undergrad, nothing much to worry coz i keep pushing it back until i graduate.
so wat actually do i want??!! after phd, then???
and before getting my phd, in that 2, 3 years to come, does that mean my life will be the same like now until then?! i dont want!!!!!
life is short! seriously!! and unpredictable!!!
after seeing what happened recently to some ppl around me.
:( i'm so lost ):

Hate December 08'

Mum and grandma left for home late last nite.
Hate sending ppl off at the airport, coz usually I’ll cry. Including sending my bro to syd last time for the first time. And if I’m the one who’s leaving, I’ll also cry, except if I’m going elsewhere for holiday coz I’ll come back again quite soon.
Last nite, saw mum’s eyes were wet. That was the 2nd time I saw her like that at airport. The other time was beginning this year, when bro leaving to come back to aus from his holiday in msia. Does that means she’s been like that everytime I left kl to come back to aus?? or it's just for my bro

Hving my family here… is good but frustrating.
Good coz they’re my family wat.
And I hv company, bring them around, bring them eat nice food, buy them stuff that they want from here.
Frustrating coz I’m not used to how they deal with certain things like household chores.
And when I finally get myself adjusted, they’re leaving. Which means it takes weeks for me to adjust ?!?!?!?! :S
feels really stupid abt that myself coz those are things that I shouldn’t really care of and should just let them do watever since I can just revert everything back once they leave. But it took me awhile to ‘learn’ to tahan and shut my eyes and don’t care.

There’s another thing that I’m ‘遗憾' abt is not playing Rolie for my mum eventhough she asked me a few times already. Even at home, I tend to play/practice my piano when noone else is at home. Dunno why … I just feel uncomfortable to play when my family is around whereas I’m totally fine if my frens are around. :S and also I don’t hv the good mood to play Rolie with all these frustration around me.
____________________

My 2nd supervisor was just diagnosed for pancreatic cancer
Heard that it’s usually terminal. A fren’s grandfather had it and passed away 5 months after that.
______________________

Grace is still leaving. But might come back in few months? years? time.

tell me tell me.... Am I a control freak????!!!!

1) I dont like ppl sitting on my bed unless they're wearing clothes which have 'no contacts' with the 'outside world' eg clean/fresh ones from the washing. i dont wear my pyjamas to sit on my own dining chair and i only recently 'allow' myself to wear my pyjamas on my own couch sometimes.
2) I have a cloth (pillow case) on my computer chair for 'clean bums' and i'll remove the cloth if anyone else wants to sit on that chair. i myself dont sit on the chair at all if i still hv my pants from outside
3) I dont step on my toilet mats if i'm wearing my bedroom slippers.
4) I'm very anal abt ppl drying their hands with the cloth for drying cleaned dishes.

5) I dont like to share filtered pipette tips with other ppl unless i see them close the lid once they take the tip from the box.
6) I don't 100% trust most other ppl's experiment results especially when those results matter to my experiment/project.

7) I'm annoyed when ppl don't leave things back like how they find it. whether it's a glue/scissors in the office, or like turning off my printer after using. i'm perfectly fine with ppl using those things but just put them back pleeeease!!
8) I'm annoyed when mum put anything other than teaspoons (or any cutlery of that size) in the middle partition of my cutlery drainer which is meant for smaller sized cutlery.

9) I dont like last minute change of plans unless i'm expecting it to happen.
10) I also dont like having last minute plans unless i'm bored or have no other things to do. even plans that doesn't involve me but only ppl around me.
eg1 last minute saying dropping my grandma at my place and then when she is here only i was told that they coming to pick her up at 11pm. Not that i dont like hving grandma over, it's just... hullo... my place is not a 24hr on-call baby sitter place... at least let me know earlier can?!
eg2 already plan with mum and aunt to bring them to the vic mart nite market then when i happily reached home from lab at 5.15 (very rare nowadays for me to reach home before 6pm ok!!), found that aunt and xxyy are still out in the city dunno wat time they coming back, they dont hv hp for me to contact with and dunno wat time is zz coming to pick up xxyy and grandma. then ended up my grandma doesn't want to go (well, also it's not very convenient for her to go coz will get too crowded and we hv to walk there from my place, i can't drive) so someone has to stay at home with her. and coz i'm already annoyed with all those 'unexpected circumstances', i chose to stay home and have instant noodles for dinner.

11)... can't think of one at the moment

actually, I sound like a clean-freak too
but hey, if u come to my place, u'll know i'm not as clean/tidy as a clean-freak. so... mayb i'm more of a control freak?! :S

We can choose who to be our friends
but too bad we can't choose our relatives

yeay!! Grace is staying after she graduate. well to be exact, she's coming back again next year :)

gosh! i'm damn bored here!! arrghhhhh
dont like the feeling of going home from lab to my lonely apartment then hv to think of wat to eat for me and myself.
dont like the feeling of wanting to go out but noone to go out with and dunno where to go and what to do. especially on a nice sunny saturday when i 难得 not going to the lab (coz going tmr instead :S)!
some weekends, bro comes back, but i dont like to hang out with him, well rather, i dont like him!!! i dont like talking to him nowadays. coz i'm really annoyed and not happy with him as my brother. all those annoyance (is there such a word?) building up gradually for months.
really not looking forward to him moving back to melb permanently and live with me in the same apartment unit! dont know how long i can stand him for.
and if things are still like this after i graduate, i seriously need to consider moving to somewhere else, different country mayb. just like how i told my dad, i'm still single, can move anywhere easily.
s'pore is still on my list, but i still not sure abt the job opportunity there.
m'sia is definitely out of my list, not only short-term wise. not that i hate msia so much, but just that i can't see myself hving a job that i like over there.
other than that, UK mayb? or US?
well all in all, meaning that i need to build my network gradually during my phd. ppl usually do that through their collaborators overseas, or during conferences. but then, i'm not good in socialising, with the angmos especially :S
or apply for fellowships to go overseas to work for few years after graduate.
yea i know i'm only in my first year, but i really dunno wat to do with my degree or my life (and forget abt the degree?) after i graduate.

a girl from my lab, got her phd few months ago, got engaged also few months ago, hv been in our lab for the past 5 or 6 years since her undergrad (as a 'lab experience student program'), she's decided to leave the lab at the end of this yr, for a change ba? she doesnt' know where to work yet, but will definitely be in melb.
another girl in my lab, started doing her phd 1 month before me, just got offered a bonded place in the graduate med school in melb uni. she's still considering to take it or not. but i think it's very likely tht she'll take the offer.
those 2 ppl are the only ones whom i like hving lunch or tea breaks with. and now they're leaving!!!! *sob sob* moving onto the next stage of their life. of course that's good for them.
but i'll be left there with 2 less friends :(

and Grace is leaving in mid dec!!! going back to msia for good!!!! :( :( :(
so there, another close friend leaving. well, actually she's my first close friend who's leaving melb for good :(

...i really need more (new) friends...

called waipo and home just now,
didn't call them for weekssssss already.

with waipo, i hv the mood to talk to her anytime. but with my parents... especially to my mum, sometimes i'm inpatient :(
just now after talking to my waipo, decided to call home coz feel like talking to them. this is bad, shouldn't be like this, they are my parents wei!!! my big bro calls home far more often than i do. usually when my mum starts asking me how's the weather here, i'll be frowning already :( :( :(
and today, the first thing she asked me was how's the economy in australia. well i seriously dunno how to answer that, other than 'grocery price has gone up'. i dont know wat's the employment/unemployment rate etc but yea i wasn't annoyed or anything lar.
i finally ask dad where do they want to go for holiday next yr. he sounded really happy but at the end he said i should save up my money. then i insisted that should spend a bit while saving up. actually is that i really dunno wat will happen to me/them the next second, so should at least enjoy a bit while we can. sounds very pessimistic hor... but that's the truth!!
waipo also said i should save my money, well i din tell her tht i want to bring my parents for holiday lar. she started by asking whether my scholarship is enough for my living, then she went on saying hv to save, for future like buy house over here, she expects me to stay in melb (long-term wise) and she thinks i'm a person who spends a lot of money :(

nov will be a busy month for me, with my cousin's wedding, waipo and all the uncles and aunts are coming, and just now heard that there will be a 'proper' dinner for waipo's bday. she's turning 87 in nov, the day after my cousin's wedding. hopefully my cells (for some of u, that's my 'pets' at work) behave

I think i'm very stressed now.

previously, uni exam time, honours thesis writing time were all stressful but i can see when are they going to end.
but now, overloaded by lab work, 5-days a week is not enough anymore coz my big experiment worked! not knowing when's the endpoint coz it's a long expmt that goes for months depending how well the cells grow, that's more stressful. i can see cells once i close my eyes, well at least they look healthy
been hving weird and stressful dreams for 3 consecutive days already.

just woke up from one where i was in a puzzle hunting+solving 'game', like a treasure hunt where u hv to go all around to find answers to the questions given. funny thing is, my teammate was Jean (yea... sam's fren). funny coz i wasn't close to her and wat is she doing in my dream?! :P
so the whole answer hunting game was set in a jungle, like in Narnia. with some wooden huts and little rooms scattered around for us to get in and find answers. at first we really suck and dont see any other teams around us. like we're lost, dunno where to go. suddenly some weird 'lady' (human-like but can swim/fly really fast) came after us so we ran coz thought she's evil. but turned out she gave us an answer to one of the questions :S
i also met my senior (JoonWin >.<) who is another participant(?) in a 'stop' where there were a few rooms next to each other, he told us to go into each of them and there's an answer in each room.
also met Erin, who is a nice lady in my lab. always there to help me when i have problems with tissue culture (my 'pets' lar), and also good in baking yummy stuff for us. so she helped us with another question, i dont think she's another participant.
then went across this slope on the hill, where there's a blind-folded horse running up and down by itself on the other side of the fence, a guy was at the side guarding. next thing i saw is the question sheet in my hands, saying something like 'why is the fake horse running aimlessly?' so i looked at the horse again and went 'oh... it's actually a fake one' and answer i gave was 'coz it's blind-folded' :S
opposite to that fake horse hill, is another slope (we were standing between those two slopes), not as steep as the previous one, with 2 (huge) dinasours there running around. my question was something abt fossil. there're some wooden huts at the lower end of the slope. i ran towards those huts, passing through the dinasour area, one dinasour was running towards me, last thing i saw was its feet (which is way bigger than my body) over my head and i heard someone (presumable is Jean?) screaming (duno wat she screamed also) ...... then i woke up

oh and before the puzzle hunting part, i was indoor received a call from someone from the C&T department in CTG! i asked wat is C&T and she told me the full name which i've forgotten now but basically is related to lighting operation. she told me she's stressed abt the show tonite. i remember that it's a phone call but somehow i can see her face :S is not someone i knew. i remember telling her not to be scared, just be 醒目 (alert) during the show and react accordingly coz you wont know wat 'emergency' will happen, i went on abt how many productions i've done, all diffr, even same production every show could be different.
then somehow i see myself in that puzzle game liao.


day before yday in my dream, i screwed Stacey (a research assitant in my lab who juz took 1.5 days leave for thurs and fri)'s PCR. i saw myself in a lab, near the PCR machines, holding her 2 pcr tubes, 1 of them is 'crunched', kept apologizing to her, her face seriously frowning and angry. it went on for quite awhile (dunno how long lar, hard to estimate in a dream), she said she needs to insert them into a BAC (basically is a technique/experiment that she's not doing in our lab)
i said i'll repeat the pcr for her, and then her face turned better.


can't remember wat exactly is in my dream yesterday, only remember that i woke up feeling so relieved that it's not true

feeling summery

yesterday really reminds me of the days i had end of last yr, when i was writing my hons thesis, anticipating my holiday.
coz of the weather, the summery weather :)
yday was really like summer

then today, when i was tramming back from work, can feel the air-conditioning in the tram, just like how i can feel it during summer time.
not bcoz i'm wearing shorts, but i think i can also feel it on my face :P
_______________________

few days ago (or last week?) was talking to a friend abt how old i'll become when i finish phd.
i should be 27 at max.
hopefully i can get it done before turning 27

really want to finish it quick,
so that wai po can come to my graduation. she's turning 84 this yr, and she always wants to see me graduate, wants to come to my graduation. she didn't come for my last 2 (yes i had TWO already!) for some sort-of-valid reasons. so i really want to finish quick so that she can come.

and also want to finish quick so taht i can start earning some decent money! :P well yea, science wont make big money. but that's wat i can see myself in, i mean in research, at least for now. and strange (yes i'll call it strange) enough that more and more i can see myself working in s'pore! was a bit reluctant to work in s'pore all the while, but dunno why, recently.
so yea... earn more money so that i can sort of enjoy life, well of course have to keep working also lar. the stipend i'm getting now is enough for me to live on, but i dont want to spend my life just living life, i want to enjoy life, i want to travel. the world is so big out there! can't be spending my whole life on this small corner of the world.

and who knows how long i'll be alive for?
*choy choy choy*

Next holiday?

I've been thinking and planning carefully for my next precious holiday.
bro has been asking me when am i going back coz he (and his gf?) wants to 'follow me' over for holiday.
CNY next year is 26 jan. so either i go back in jan for my bday (not the main point lar) + cny, then come back to do my confirmation.
[dunno if i mentioned before... confirmation is a hurdle requirement for all phd students, well at least for science lar, by the end of the first year. it includes a 20 mins or so seminar in front of a panel of 5? and a few thousand? words introduction of ur project. heard that a phd student before the confirmation is called phd candidate, after confirmation only formally become a phd student, well noone cares abt those terms of course... too troublesome :P]
or i'll go back after the confirmation, which is the option that i'm leaning towards all the while,
but i dont want to just go back to msia for like 2 weeks then come back again. i want to travel to somewhere else, with my parents. yea... i want to be the one paying for the airfare and accomodation. too ambitious huh :$

i'm considering bringing them to hk, or tw. i wont have enough money to go to europe. then the States leh.... accomodation can be easily solved coz can stay at uncle's place, but i think it'll take too long to get the visa approved, too troublesome.
s'pore... too near... only need to drive down and then knock on my aunt's door :S
mayb china is also a good choice.... i've never been, dont think my parents been also.
if not going as a tour (meaning with tourguides and have all the fuss taken care of), it has to be somewhere that i've been to (eg HK) or at least somewhere i'm confident that i can bring them around.
tw leh.... i have a few classmates still studying there, but then i dont want to end up not hving time (to play) with my friends or neglecting my parents.

wat abt SE asia... Thailand? Vietnam? hmm.... those places usually go by our own right, as in without tourguide, or need to go there and find local guide... sounds mafan. that was my experience from my Cambodia trip, which is worth going, no doubt, but need to know ppl (who have been there) so that can arrange good local guides. i dont want to put too much effort on planning the every details of the trip and also Viet trip is really tiring (according to my aunt, she been there before).

if that's really happening, should be around april-june next year.

then after the trip, i will be totally broke and have to start saving money all over again.
i actually dont have my own savings (in aus) at all before i start getting money from my phd scholarship.

today i wish 婆婆 happy bday
she asked me if i'm back for cny next yr

:(

最近在想，读完 phd 后要继续在这里做工过下半辈子，还是去新加坡找工
在Msia是绝对找不到我要的工　ｌａｈ，for 这个 field

最近放工回到家，会想到如果有家人在就好
现在剩妈妈在家，爸爸常不在家，哥哥做工，即使他放工回家也少跟爸妈讲话的
妈妈刚打来，说哥哥手扭到要请假看医生，then 也讲她自己最近手关节痛, 看医生都没好，也顺便 complain abt 哥哥的坏脾气
常听妈妈跟我　ｃｏｍｐｌａｉｎ，更觉得在家就好，ｏｒ　ｅｖｅｎ　不在家，可以随时回去也好

终于明白之前一个朋友在他回去　ｆｏｒ　ｇｏｏｄ　前告诉我的那种心情

it's been awhile since the last blog

fri nite... hv a sudden thought abt wat can i do for this weekend if i'm home in msia instead, as in say i'm studying in kl.
i could hv gone 1U or MidValley or other shoppin malls with my parents for nothing in particular,
i could hv gone market with my mum in the morning,
or i could just online at home, then watch tw entertainment show with mum in the afternoon

is that a symptom of homesick?
__________________________________

am hving a relatively quiet weekend.
'relatively' coz something special did happen - a new camera!!
haha!

just like what happened when i bought my digital piano... went into the shop without expecting to choose/buy a camera, then just end up buying one. :$
was happy for awhile... then regretted coz cant see myself doing any traveling in near future which means no urgent need of a new camera.
sigh...
then found out the deal i got wasn't fantastic after all. i can easily get that similar deal at the sony shop which is not hving sales at all. :S just sad
after waiting patiently for the new battery to get charged, try many shots, diffr settings ... impressed by the first photo it took, then found out some imperfections, sad again...
this morning woke up, tried taking photos outside my window... felt better :P
then make a conclusion myself... the imperfection only occur when there's not enough light or i'm taking it indoor.
deep down... still bit disappointed... tsk *shook head*

吾爱中华

means i luv my high school (吉隆坡中华独立中学) lar

we always call it as 中华 but there's also a government school named 中华 (中华国中) in KL. they use to be the same one before the early 60's. wonder why the split? 独立中学@wiki
Even though
i had to study harder and study more than gov school kids (not saying they dont hv to study hard ok),
had less time to enjoy my teen-age-years,
had to spend more of my parents money (to pay for school fees and transportation to school since it's farther than the gov school that i'll go to instead),
didn't have to chance to know/make frens with non-chinese ppl,
have the impression that our english is not as good as the gov school ppl,
i'm still glad that i'd chosen this school :)

we hv good reputation academically and in sports, well i didnt' contribute much lar :P
not sure abt it now, heard that ever since the new school principal, many school principles also changed, and they're not as strict as before. dunno how that impact on the school's performance lar. look at their latest results in SPM also dunno how to compare to my year coz dont rememebr the stats le
well at least in the 2008 雪隆八独中田径锦标赛 (there are 8 独中s in KL+Selangor area), 中华 did best.

not trying to brag abt my school,
guess i still miss high school ba

没有讲谢谢, 自己会 realise, 会不安
难道我有讲的时候，人家有听进去？
笨 liao

Hershey's :)

Always love Hershey's chocolate. didn't like them this much when i was young, well uncle from CA always buy us Hershey's Kisses whenever they go to Msia (sigh.. can't say 'come' to msia d). never (get to) buy hershey's ourselves, not sure where to get in msia, coz always get our 'supply' from that uncle :) and we dont eat much chocolate at home... mayb coz of the weather? or there's other better food to eat?
until recently when i came here to study, i started to 'specially request' for Hershey's chocolates when they come to Australia (that once few years ago) or they go Msia.
I'm now eating Hershey's Miniatures Special Dark. :)
juz opened few weeks ago, still eating them slowly.

brought them over from KL (mum brought them back from CA last yr), only manage to bring 1 of the 2 packets :( melted a bit on the way but they still taste good (of course).

another favourite of mine is the Cookies n cream.
couldn't find the c n c nuggets from their website now... they not making it anymore? :(
luckily i'm not studying in america.. haha! i'll be so fat coz of those chocolates :P
or i'll be sick of them so i wont eat them as much anyway? (but i'll hv to eat a lot of them in order to get to that stage yea? :P)

Melbourne Big Freeze event 14June08


over 200 people freeze in place on cue in Grand Central Station in New York

"This is one of over 70 different missions Improv Everywhere has executed over the past six years in New York City. Others include the No Pants Subway Ride, the Best Buy uniform prank, and the famous U2 Rooftop Hoax, to name a few."

it's bizarre how random ppl can come out and achieve some random missions together.
But why can't ppl co-operate and achieve goals that are more meaningful and useful?

just a simple example happening in the tissue culture labs that i'm working in...
ppl just can't stop throwing papers, plastics or other non-bio-hazard (not contaminated and is safe to be disposed like normal rubbish) rubbish into the biohazard bins. this will cause unnecessary $$ spent to de-contaminate them before disposing into the landfill or wherever it goes to. at first there's no signs near the bin or in the labs about that... then there're laminated signs near the biohazard bins, but after few months... ppl still did the same thing. so now the cleaners have to put up signs ON the bins, like written on an 'icecream stick' and clip it outside every single bins. Is this lack of common sense? simple ignorance? bad habbit? or even worse... arrogance? ppl who use the facility.. are not 12 yr-olds, but adults, well-educated adults. sigh...

by the way... more random missions by random ppl on
http://improveverywhere.com/

“如果忘不掉过去， 那就干脆不要忘记了，
埋在心底里，做为人生故事的一部分。
那沉寂的过去， 就会变成养料。”

the HP story...

another tick for my '2008 new year resolution' :)
big thanks to sy and ss for the present for my belated birthdayss.
yup, got a HeadPhone to be used with Rolie:






It's a good hp i would say, too good for my ears. had to turn the piano volume really low, quarter of the full volume to suit my ears. i usually play rolie on half the full volume without hp, even it's during daytime that i dont hv to worry too much abt neighbours complaining.
i couldn't hear the 'noise' that i usually hear without hp,
but i can hear another noise which i normally dont without the hp. :S
and rolie sound even better through the hp.
i'm happy with the hp, but still trying to accept the imperfection of rolie :(

when i was on my way home in the tram with my new hp and some groceries, a man who sat diagonally infront of me (he was there before i got on the tram) told me that i can put my groceries (which he thought is heavy) on the seat next to him, which is the seat right in front of me. i said it's ok but he insisted, even helped me to, so i left the bag of groc on that empty seat. he saw the yellow jb-hifi bag and asked wat's inside, whether it's a mobile phone (=HandPhone!!) so i told him it's a headphone.
he said cheap headphones are crap, eg those $5 ones. then he showed me his sony headphone (which looks like one of the $60 ones) and told me how good they are even after a year.
he got off the tram one stop later.

---------------------------
we (the 3 kids) share share bought a HandPhone for my dad today.
bro told me last nite that dad's hp was dead and we browsed through the internet trying to find him a new one. which has to hv not too small screen, not too small hp size, and big buttons/keypad.
so a RM330 hp was bought today.
but he decided to swap that new hp with my mum's, which we (me n 2nd bro) bought for her beginning last yr, reason being, he doesn't know how to operate the new one :S
___________________

so, the next thing on the list is to get a victorian driving license. i've told the uncle (my uncle's friend who is a driving instructor) that i want to learn driving after he comes back from the long holiday. want to get it done before my mum and waipo comes to melb in early nov. yup, they're coming, in fact many from my mum's side of the family (all the uncles and 1 aunt, my mum and waipo) are coming! for my cousin's wedding in late nov. mum and waipo will be here for 1 month. and the day after the wedding is my waipo's bday :) wat a good timing.

Mother's Day this Sunday!!
sent mum a present (bro bought de actually) with a card last tues
but forgot to send a card to my grandmas! yup... i usually send mother's day cards even to my waipo and po po. but totally forgot abt it until today!!! since it's too late already, i'll hv to give them a call on the day.

dunno how's my grandma coping with the bad news abt my uncle. sigh.
he was diagnosed for chronic lymphocytic leukemia abt 2,3 wks ago. that's so sudden
saw him in msia and cny, went yumcha with him, my dad and other cousins in tat early morning before we left penang to kl during cny. :(
i would say that he's my dad's sibling that we're the closest to. :(
couldn't imagine that happening in my own family. touchwood!!! :(
'Survival varies from 5 years to more than 25 years.' quoted from wiki.
He's under medication now. cousin said will decide whether he needs chemo after 1 month of medication.

Before this, i was pretty 'determined' to not go back home end of this yr. but gradually, i'm thinking of gg back after my confirmation.
Confirmation is a requirement for every phd student by the end of the first 12 months.
basically will hv to get a review panel (ur own supervisors and other senior ppl in the institute) and give a presentation (<30mins, forgot le), hv to write them a short report, and literature review (3000 words i think). hv to pass confirmation in order to continue the phd candidature.

That day on the phone with dad, forgot wat we were tlkaing abt... i only remember him saying something like '...你买钢琴那边不少钱了...'. that made me really really sad.
dad never said 'expensive' to things that i've asked for, so far. well mayb coz i dont ask for expensive stuff before. coming over to melb to study.... well, i din 'ask for' it, so not counted lar!
even though i'm using my own money for the piano, but still, my heart sank...
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walked home today, from work.
surprisingly, it only took me... 17:18-17:43 less than 30 mins!
tram takes 11mins and that doesn't incld walking to tram stop (j-walking across King St is a pain during rush hours) and waiting for the tram. so usually altogether will take me abt 20-30 mins.
mayb should do that more often, of course only when it's not too cold, not raining, not too dark.
can't be bothered to walk to work in the morning after my shower.


but i'll see someone's car on the way......

update update

My 2008 resolution:
a first 'tick' for: To own a digital piano :)
(the 2nd 08' resolution i had at the end of last yr was to get a victorian driving license)

here... meet my new Rolie.... *dang dang dang daaannggg*


















(it's actually nicer looking by the real thing)
got it last wed morning. but it has some problem with one of the keys/notes. so had to wait till fri to ask the person incharge of my order to solve the prob. went to the shop during lunch time on fri, he's gg to swap a new one for me on thurs (24.04).
so thurs... came home at 330pm, waited for the new Rolie. came at 4pm sharp!
they brought it up to assembly in my living room. (the previous one was assembled in their truck downstairs) then took back the 'old' one, i keep the stool.
and i'm happy with this new Rolie so far :)

since i got the Rolie last wed, i've been playing it almost every weekday nites , every weekend afternoons, not excluding the nite before my presentation which was on wed.

so now... i hv another new 2008 resolution:
to get a headphone for Rolie! :D
my neighbour hasn't complain yet. i had to close my windows whenever i play Rolie, and i can't play in the full volume (which means not 'syok' enough)
a Sennheiser/good(?) headphone from HarveyNorman and a Sony dealer costs >$150
a Sony headphone from Dicksmith costs around $50
hmmm......
hvn't try out their difference.
___________________________

did a big experiment (MMCT) on tues. hv done it before end of last yr, but my 2nd supervisor was there guiding me through. this time, he's not around anymore. i did it all by myself :(
hope this one works better than the previous ones (that's why i need to repeat the exp)!!

after my presentation on wed, sort of been thinking abt the 'future' of my phd project...
quite sad case coz... seems like i can only publish paper if i find the right gene (which means if i achieve my project aim). but biomedical research is not always a happy story. it depends on ur luck as well. unlike some other projects out there, whether u achieve ur aim or not, it's still possible to publish ur work coz u'll discover something interesting along the way. but for me, noone would be interested to know wat i've done in my honours last yr (i've eliminated 3 genes from being the causative gene of the particular disease of this particular group of 8 patients) , which obviously din achieve the aim. :(

in the field of biomedical science research, 'you either publish or perish'.

思路太复杂不是件好事

just some updates

went to see fireworks twice this moomba :) i recon it's better than last yr's, hv new 'variations' of the normal fireworks, and the music sort of matches the fireworks.

went to see my supervisor/boss yday.
will need to start revising all the stuff from last yr, after easter weekend.
there're 5 new ppl in the lab since i left 3 months ago. and by the time i start, the renovation in our old lab should be finished.

off to goldcoast tonite!
bro said the apartment is like a holiday resort, nothing much around the area, only beaches.
no internet in the apartment, only tv, aircon, dryer (my dryer in melb is not working) and free electricity (he doesnt' need to pay mar).
dunno wat we will do there, he's working on wkdays, not many shops around and i can't swim, so might really end up reading story book or watching tv at home all day :S
anyway, as long as we are out of melb, erm more specifically... me and my parents are out of the melb apartment, things should be alright.

Back in Melb

Have been back in Melbourne since Sunday.
Have settled all the bills, scholarship document and enrolment,
collected the new student diary and a new student card today :) happy with them
can't do without a student diary.
Have bought tix to goldcoast next week with my parents, for almost a week and is looking fwd to the trip.
Have called my supervisor this morning and will need to discuss abt those 'serious stuff' with him next tues :(

Haven't gone to the market, so dont have any unprocessed meat at home,
can only cook instant meals. and forgot to buy mian xian from asian groc today. seems like i'll hv to eat the 4th packet of instant noodle for dinner tonite

Have to save up money for
a digital piano
a digital camera
and if still hv extra money.... a laptop :P

went to change my term address on the uni website, clicked 'UPDATE', then
in red, a receipt number came out, and also a note saying that an email will be sent to my unimail to notify me the changes i made. then my uni email address was shown in red... @pgrad.unimelb.edu
this is not the first time i realise that my uni email has been changed from @ugrad to @pgrad. but seeing it still made me feel so 'grown-up' (a better word for 'old')

gg back to KL tmr... from Sg
which means gg back to Melb in less than 1 week time...

_____________________

am annoyed when ppl behaves 'un-civilised-ly'
(not that i'm very civilised... but... o well)
am annoyed when i'm feeling unsafe
am annoyed when i dont have my freedom to do wat i want to
am annoyed when the weather is too hot

therefore u might think that i always get annoyed in KL (and probably in SG as well)
but...
I actually spend most of my time at home
or rather.. mayb that's why i spend most of my time at home
>wu2 nai4<

Just found out that my high school classmate has got a baby, who is 5 months old already!
but i'm still studying and will be studying for the next 3 or so years

the news of her getting married shocked me last year

anyhow, as long as she is happy and xin4 fu2 :)

i hate lizards!
there're quite a few of them in our kitchen and dining room
one of them just 'ate' my tauge today when i was having problem fixing my webcam.
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a song by a biotech company, for their new PCR (Polymerase Chain Reaction, ghee i still remember them!) machine:



lyrics:

The PCR Song
There was a time when to amplify DNA,
You had to grow tons and tons of tiny cells.
Then along came a guy named Dr. Kary Mullis,
Said you can amplify in vitro just as well.
Just mix your template with a buffer and some primers,
Nucleotides and polymerases, too.
Denaturing, annealing, and extending.
Well it’s amazing what heating and cooling and heating will do.
PCR, when you need to detect mutations.
PCR, when you need to recombine.
PCR, when you need to find out who the daddy is.
PCR, when you need to solve a crime.
(repeat chorus)

Happy birthday to me

it's my birthday today
and it's still my birthday now
so?

My dream car

I was driving this red Alfa Romeo in my dream last nite... :)

I'm proud of my high school classmate :D

http://www.chinapress.com.my/topic/school05/default.asp?dt=upeople&art=20080103people.txt

finally i'm back online :D

have spent the most money this holiday...
spent 600 for my retainer today :S
ya... after so many years without retainer, i finally decided to make a new one. i wore braces when i was in high school. but din put on the retainer ever since i go to melb. really really regret but it's already too late. my teeth is not perfect anymore :( but at least now i'm doing something to prevent it from getting worse.

looking fwd to the hk trip next weekend.
but more looking fwd to sg trip next month.
wahaha