after that emo weekend and followed by a week full of failed experiments...
i'm much motivated now. especially since the seminar/forum thingy on last fri organised by the postgrad student association of my research institute. where 4 seniors were invited to share their experience and to answer any related questions. my eyes gone teary a bit and felt motivated and the pat over my shoulder.

when i see ppl on the stage (performing eg singing)... the applaus from the audience make me very 感动. can feel the statisfaction. wish i'm the one on the stage, wish i can hv that kind of feeling. feeling good and 'appreciated' and proud about myself for what i've done.
like i should cry when i get my phd. lol
i should, doesn't mean i will :?

i always think and still agree with, that satisfaction (满足感) is one of the most important things in a person's life.
my definition of satisfaction used to be 'by achieving something GREAT in one's life'
but now i think think... it can be anything eg achieving something (eg. in your career) for youself or having appreciated/praised by someone about what you've done. (not sure if this makes sense to u)

thing is we only live for once, well regardless abt what you believe about after life etc etc philosophy/religion stuff...
my point is... i'm once alive so i don't want to vanish from the world one day without being remembered or even realised by ppl in the future. must leave my 'trail' for a good cause (of course).
i guess i can work really hard in the research field (with some luck of course), to find out something useful so that ppl in the future know about my existence. sounds like i'm doing all this for my own good instead of contributing to the 'man-kind' (woa... sound so... 伟大). this takes me to mention here abt this little 'side story' which happened at abt 2 years ago... a cleaner in my institute said to me on a friday evening after 5pm... (the cleaners usually work after hours. don't rmb the exact wordings... it's somethign like...) that i'm still there working late on a friday night but at least i know i'm (doing my research to) helping other ppl. i think she's the kind and wise person who thought abt that. to me, i was just doing it for my own good, ie to get my honours. shame on me :$

actually am glad that i'm in this field, coz at least it is something i can try to achieve and fulfill the 'satisfaction' for my life.

my childhood memeories...

As i just finished typing the previous entry,
bro showed me a few photos taken in my room in KL
new paint for my room, see my big teddy bear sitting there...









mum asked me before she washed it for me, ask if can give away or wat...
she's been trying to sort out my soft toys for me when i went back last trip, when i took them all out and took a last picture of them, i was so sad to give/donate any of them away!!! those are all my childhood memories :'( :'( :'( so asked mum to let them stay
then when she asked me again abt this big one few days ago... i said can give after she wash.
but just now bro showed me the photo ....












:'( i asked him to tell mum to keep again :'(
eventhough i'm not 'very close' to this bear, coz it was too big and furry, it's usually kept in the cupboard. but i still love it a lot. still hug it everytime i went home. and i still hv the doll at home since i was born. and the 'brother' of the doll... really can't imagine them being out of my possession :( now that i'm thinking that i won't be going to KL in the nov trip... i'm very sad leh... can't see the newly painted house, can't hug/see my toys :(

how arr??? i hv to get rid of them some day anyhow right?
just like what happened to my piano in kl... so sad to sell it off but at the end still hv to say bye-bye to it :'( yea... it was sold few months ago when i'm here, couldn't even hug it for the last time :'(

should i bring the bear to melb with me in dec? :$

World's Best Airports
'a survey done by the British-based Skytrax consultancy group, interviewed 8.6 million passengers in 2008/9 at 190 airports about their experiences, from check-in, departures, transfers, through to arrivals.'
Why I didn't get to do the survey?? :( I had 12 international airport visits (one international trip will hv at least 4 international airport visits) from 2008 wor

anyway... my point is...
Top 10:
Incheon International
Hong Kong International
Singapore Changi
Zurich
Munich
Kansai
Kuala Lumpur
Amsterdam
Central Nagoya
Auckland

yup... KLIA is no.7
and the BEST IMMIGRATION SERVICE award goes to...... KLIA!!!
instead of feeling proud of it, i'm speculating the reason for that award :S Not goin to type it out here to avoid getting into any trouble >.<

我 sien 得受不了
什么也做不好
最近的实验多是有缺陷
我和你的世界
就像一条抛物线
也许它早已过了最高点

情绪不好冲到极限
说顺利要直接一点
你会发现
全要冒险
情绪化
有什么不对
我要你零缺点

睁开了我的眼
今天又是一天
但还没能和昨天说再见
我心中的问号
你一直解不到
希望有一个脑袋能了解

情绪不好冲到极限
说顺利要直接一点
你会发现
全要冒险
情绪化
有什么不对
我要你零缺点

Tank - 一把听了很 'lum' 的声音... and plus guitar

the first 1min++ :P and speaker volume must turn up a bit



and of course, 徐佳莹's voice is very nice





it's the quality of the video? the song itself or he really improved? the first song sounded more relaxed

OR should i get a MacBook?