called waipo and home just now,
didn't call them for weekssssss already.

with waipo, i hv the mood to talk to her anytime. but with my parents... especially to my mum, sometimes i'm inpatient :(
just now after talking to my waipo, decided to call home coz feel like talking to them. this is bad, shouldn't be like this, they are my parents wei!!! my big bro calls home far more often than i do. usually when my mum starts asking me how's the weather here, i'll be frowning already :( :( :(
and today, the first thing she asked me was how's the economy in australia. well i seriously dunno how to answer that, other than 'grocery price has gone up'. i dont know wat's the employment/unemployment rate etc but yea i wasn't annoyed or anything lar.
i finally ask dad where do they want to go for holiday next yr. he sounded really happy but at the end he said i should save up my money. then i insisted that should spend a bit while saving up. actually is that i really dunno wat will happen to me/them the next second, so should at least enjoy a bit while we can. sounds very pessimistic hor... but that's the truth!!
waipo also said i should save my money, well i din tell her tht i want to bring my parents for holiday lar. she started by asking whether my scholarship is enough for my living, then she went on saying hv to save, for future like buy house over here, she expects me to stay in melb (long-term wise) and she thinks i'm a person who spends a lot of money :(

nov will be a busy month for me, with my cousin's wedding, waipo and all the uncles and aunts are coming, and just now heard that there will be a 'proper' dinner for waipo's bday. she's turning 87 in nov, the day after my cousin's wedding. hopefully my cells (for some of u, that's my 'pets' at work) behave

I think i'm very stressed now.

previously, uni exam time, honours thesis writing time were all stressful but i can see when are they going to end.
but now, overloaded by lab work, 5-days a week is not enough anymore coz my big experiment worked! not knowing when's the endpoint coz it's a long expmt that goes for months depending how well the cells grow, that's more stressful. i can see cells once i close my eyes, well at least they look healthy
been hving weird and stressful dreams for 3 consecutive days already.

just woke up from one where i was in a puzzle hunting+solving 'game', like a treasure hunt where u hv to go all around to find answers to the questions given. funny thing is, my teammate was Jean (yea... sam's fren). funny coz i wasn't close to her and wat is she doing in my dream?! :P
so the whole answer hunting game was set in a jungle, like in Narnia. with some wooden huts and little rooms scattered around for us to get in and find answers. at first we really suck and dont see any other teams around us. like we're lost, dunno where to go. suddenly some weird 'lady' (human-like but can swim/fly really fast) came after us so we ran coz thought she's evil. but turned out she gave us an answer to one of the questions :S
i also met my senior (JoonWin >.<) who is another participant(?) in a 'stop' where there were a few rooms next to each other, he told us to go into each of them and there's an answer in each room.
also met Erin, who is a nice lady in my lab. always there to help me when i have problems with tissue culture (my 'pets' lar), and also good in baking yummy stuff for us. so she helped us with another question, i dont think she's another participant.
then went across this slope on the hill, where there's a blind-folded horse running up and down by itself on the other side of the fence, a guy was at the side guarding. next thing i saw is the question sheet in my hands, saying something like 'why is the fake horse running aimlessly?' so i looked at the horse again and went 'oh... it's actually a fake one' and answer i gave was 'coz it's blind-folded' :S
opposite to that fake horse hill, is another slope (we were standing between those two slopes), not as steep as the previous one, with 2 (huge) dinasours there running around. my question was something abt fossil. there're some wooden huts at the lower end of the slope. i ran towards those huts, passing through the dinasour area, one dinasour was running towards me, last thing i saw was its feet (which is way bigger than my body) over my head and i heard someone (presumable is Jean?) screaming (duno wat she screamed also) ...... then i woke up

oh and before the puzzle hunting part, i was indoor received a call from someone from the C&T department in CTG! i asked wat is C&T and she told me the full name which i've forgotten now but basically is related to lighting operation. she told me she's stressed abt the show tonite. i remember that it's a phone call but somehow i can see her face :S is not someone i knew. i remember telling her not to be scared, just be 醒目 (alert) during the show and react accordingly coz you wont know wat 'emergency' will happen, i went on abt how many productions i've done, all diffr, even same production every show could be different.
then somehow i see myself in that puzzle game liao.


day before yday in my dream, i screwed Stacey (a research assitant in my lab who juz took 1.5 days leave for thurs and fri)'s PCR. i saw myself in a lab, near the PCR machines, holding her 2 pcr tubes, 1 of them is 'crunched', kept apologizing to her, her face seriously frowning and angry. it went on for quite awhile (dunno how long lar, hard to estimate in a dream), she said she needs to insert them into a BAC (basically is a technique/experiment that she's not doing in our lab)
i said i'll repeat the pcr for her, and then her face turned better.


can't remember wat exactly is in my dream yesterday, only remember that i woke up feeling so relieved that it's not true

feeling summery

yesterday really reminds me of the days i had end of last yr, when i was writing my hons thesis, anticipating my holiday.
coz of the weather, the summery weather :)
yday was really like summer

then today, when i was tramming back from work, can feel the air-conditioning in the tram, just like how i can feel it during summer time.
not bcoz i'm wearing shorts, but i think i can also feel it on my face :P
_______________________

few days ago (or last week?) was talking to a friend abt how old i'll become when i finish phd.
i should be 27 at max.
hopefully i can get it done before turning 27

really want to finish it quick,
so that wai po can come to my graduation. she's turning 84 this yr, and she always wants to see me graduate, wants to come to my graduation. she didn't come for my last 2 (yes i had TWO already!) for some sort-of-valid reasons. so i really want to finish quick so that she can come.

and also want to finish quick so taht i can start earning some decent money! :P well yea, science wont make big money. but that's wat i can see myself in, i mean in research, at least for now. and strange (yes i'll call it strange) enough that more and more i can see myself working in s'pore! was a bit reluctant to work in s'pore all the while, but dunno why, recently.
so yea... earn more money so that i can sort of enjoy life, well of course have to keep working also lar. the stipend i'm getting now is enough for me to live on, but i dont want to spend my life just living life, i want to enjoy life, i want to travel. the world is so big out there! can't be spending my whole life on this small corner of the world.

and who knows how long i'll be alive for?
*choy choy choy*

Next holiday?

I've been thinking and planning carefully for my next precious holiday.
bro has been asking me when am i going back coz he (and his gf?) wants to 'follow me' over for holiday.
CNY next year is 26 jan. so either i go back in jan for my bday (not the main point lar) + cny, then come back to do my confirmation.
[dunno if i mentioned before... confirmation is a hurdle requirement for all phd students, well at least for science lar, by the end of the first year. it includes a 20 mins or so seminar in front of a panel of 5? and a few thousand? words introduction of ur project. heard that a phd student before the confirmation is called phd candidate, after confirmation only formally become a phd student, well noone cares abt those terms of course... too troublesome :P]
or i'll go back after the confirmation, which is the option that i'm leaning towards all the while,
but i dont want to just go back to msia for like 2 weeks then come back again. i want to travel to somewhere else, with my parents. yea... i want to be the one paying for the airfare and accomodation. too ambitious huh :$

i'm considering bringing them to hk, or tw. i wont have enough money to go to europe. then the States leh.... accomodation can be easily solved coz can stay at uncle's place, but i think it'll take too long to get the visa approved, too troublesome.
s'pore... too near... only need to drive down and then knock on my aunt's door :S
mayb china is also a good choice.... i've never been, dont think my parents been also.
if not going as a tour (meaning with tourguides and have all the fuss taken care of), it has to be somewhere that i've been to (eg HK) or at least somewhere i'm confident that i can bring them around.
tw leh.... i have a few classmates still studying there, but then i dont want to end up not hving time (to play) with my friends or neglecting my parents.

wat abt SE asia... Thailand? Vietnam? hmm.... those places usually go by our own right, as in without tourguide, or need to go there and find local guide... sounds mafan. that was my experience from my Cambodia trip, which is worth going, no doubt, but need to know ppl (who have been there) so that can arrange good local guides. i dont want to put too much effort on planning the every details of the trip and also Viet trip is really tiring (according to my aunt, she been there before).

if that's really happening, should be around april-june next year.

then after the trip, i will be totally broke and have to start saving money all over again.
i actually dont have my own savings (in aus) at all before i start getting money from my phd scholarship.

today i wish 婆婆 happy bday
she asked me if i'm back for cny next yr

:(

最近在想，读完 phd 后要继续在这里做工过下半辈子，还是去新加坡找工
在Msia是绝对找不到我要的工　ｌａｈ，for 这个 field

最近放工回到家，会想到如果有家人在就好
现在剩妈妈在家，爸爸常不在家，哥哥做工，即使他放工回家也少跟爸妈讲话的
妈妈刚打来，说哥哥手扭到要请假看医生，then 也讲她自己最近手关节痛, 看医生都没好，也顺便 complain abt 哥哥的坏脾气
常听妈妈跟我　ｃｏｍｐｌａｉｎ，更觉得在家就好，ｏｒ　ｅｖｅｎ　不在家，可以随时回去也好

终于明白之前一个朋友在他回去　ｆｏｒ　ｇｏｏｄ　前告诉我的那种心情

it's been awhile since the last blog

fri nite... hv a sudden thought abt wat can i do for this weekend if i'm home in msia instead, as in say i'm studying in kl.
i could hv gone 1U or MidValley or other shoppin malls with my parents for nothing in particular,
i could hv gone market with my mum in the morning,
or i could just online at home, then watch tw entertainment show with mum in the afternoon

is that a symptom of homesick?
__________________________________

am hving a relatively quiet weekend.
'relatively' coz something special did happen - a new camera!!
haha!

just like what happened when i bought my digital piano... went into the shop without expecting to choose/buy a camera, then just end up buying one. :$
was happy for awhile... then regretted coz cant see myself doing any traveling in near future which means no urgent need of a new camera.
sigh...
then found out the deal i got wasn't fantastic after all. i can easily get that similar deal at the sony shop which is not hving sales at all. :S just sad
after waiting patiently for the new battery to get charged, try many shots, diffr settings ... impressed by the first photo it took, then found out some imperfections, sad again...
this morning woke up, tried taking photos outside my window... felt better :P
then make a conclusion myself... the imperfection only occur when there's not enough light or i'm taking it indoor.
deep down... still bit disappointed... tsk *shook head*

吾爱中华

means i luv my high school (吉隆坡中华独立中学) lar

we always call it as 中华 but there's also a government school named 中华 (中华国中) in KL. they use to be the same one before the early 60's. wonder why the split? 独立中学@wiki
Even though
i had to study harder and study more than gov school kids (not saying they dont hv to study hard ok),
had less time to enjoy my teen-age-years,
had to spend more of my parents money (to pay for school fees and transportation to school since it's farther than the gov school that i'll go to instead),
didn't have to chance to know/make frens with non-chinese ppl,
have the impression that our english is not as good as the gov school ppl,
i'm still glad that i'd chosen this school :)

we hv good reputation academically and in sports, well i didnt' contribute much lar :P
not sure abt it now, heard that ever since the new school principal, many school principles also changed, and they're not as strict as before. dunno how that impact on the school's performance lar. look at their latest results in SPM also dunno how to compare to my year coz dont rememebr the stats le
well at least in the 2008 雪隆八独中田径锦标赛 (there are 8 独中s in KL+Selangor area), 中华 did best.

not trying to brag abt my school,
guess i still miss high school ba

没有讲谢谢, 自己会 realise, 会不安
难道我有讲的时候，人家有听进去？
笨 liao

Hershey's :)

Always love Hershey's chocolate. didn't like them this much when i was young, well uncle from CA always buy us Hershey's Kisses whenever they go to Msia (sigh.. can't say 'come' to msia d). never (get to) buy hershey's ourselves, not sure where to get in msia, coz always get our 'supply' from that uncle :) and we dont eat much chocolate at home... mayb coz of the weather? or there's other better food to eat?
until recently when i came here to study, i started to 'specially request' for Hershey's chocolates when they come to Australia (that once few years ago) or they go Msia.
I'm now eating Hershey's Miniatures Special Dark. :)
juz opened few weeks ago, still eating them slowly.

brought them over from KL (mum brought them back from CA last yr), only manage to bring 1 of the 2 packets :( melted a bit on the way but they still taste good (of course).

another favourite of mine is the Cookies n cream.
couldn't find the c n c nuggets from their website now... they not making it anymore? :(
luckily i'm not studying in america.. haha! i'll be so fat coz of those chocolates :P
or i'll be sick of them so i wont eat them as much anyway? (but i'll hv to eat a lot of them in order to get to that stage yea? :P)

Melbourne Big Freeze event 14June08


over 200 people freeze in place on cue in Grand Central Station in New York

"This is one of over 70 different missions Improv Everywhere has executed over the past six years in New York City. Others include the No Pants Subway Ride, the Best Buy uniform prank, and the famous U2 Rooftop Hoax, to name a few."

it's bizarre how random ppl can come out and achieve some random missions together.
But why can't ppl co-operate and achieve goals that are more meaningful and useful?

just a simple example happening in the tissue culture labs that i'm working in...
ppl just can't stop throwing papers, plastics or other non-bio-hazard (not contaminated and is safe to be disposed like normal rubbish) rubbish into the biohazard bins. this will cause unnecessary $$ spent to de-contaminate them before disposing into the landfill or wherever it goes to. at first there's no signs near the bin or in the labs about that... then there're laminated signs near the biohazard bins, but after few months... ppl still did the same thing. so now the cleaners have to put up signs ON the bins, like written on an 'icecream stick' and clip it outside every single bins. Is this lack of common sense? simple ignorance? bad habbit? or even worse... arrogance? ppl who use the facility.. are not 12 yr-olds, but adults, well-educated adults. sigh...

by the way... more random missions by random ppl on
http://improveverywhere.com/

“如果忘不掉过去， 那就干脆不要忘记了，
埋在心底里，做为人生故事的一部分。
那沉寂的过去， 就会变成养料。”

the HP story...

another tick for my '2008 new year resolution' :)
big thanks to sy and ss for the present for my belated birthdayss.
yup, got a HeadPhone to be used with Rolie:






It's a good hp i would say, too good for my ears. had to turn the piano volume really low, quarter of the full volume to suit my ears. i usually play rolie on half the full volume without hp, even it's during daytime that i dont hv to worry too much abt neighbours complaining.
i couldn't hear the 'noise' that i usually hear without hp,
but i can hear another noise which i normally dont without the hp. :S
and rolie sound even better through the hp.
i'm happy with the hp, but still trying to accept the imperfection of rolie :(

when i was on my way home in the tram with my new hp and some groceries, a man who sat diagonally infront of me (he was there before i got on the tram) told me that i can put my groceries (which he thought is heavy) on the seat next to him, which is the seat right in front of me. i said it's ok but he insisted, even helped me to, so i left the bag of groc on that empty seat. he saw the yellow jb-hifi bag and asked wat's inside, whether it's a mobile phone (=HandPhone!!) so i told him it's a headphone.
he said cheap headphones are crap, eg those $5 ones. then he showed me his sony headphone (which looks like one of the $60 ones) and told me how good they are even after a year.
he got off the tram one stop later.

---------------------------
we (the 3 kids) share share bought a HandPhone for my dad today.
bro told me last nite that dad's hp was dead and we browsed through the internet trying to find him a new one. which has to hv not too small screen, not too small hp size, and big buttons/keypad.
so a RM330 hp was bought today.
but he decided to swap that new hp with my mum's, which we (me n 2nd bro) bought for her beginning last yr, reason being, he doesn't know how to operate the new one :S
___________________

so, the next thing on the list is to get a victorian driving license. i've told the uncle (my uncle's friend who is a driving instructor) that i want to learn driving after he comes back from the long holiday. want to get it done before my mum and waipo comes to melb in early nov. yup, they're coming, in fact many from my mum's side of the family (all the uncles and 1 aunt, my mum and waipo) are coming! for my cousin's wedding in late nov. mum and waipo will be here for 1 month. and the day after the wedding is my waipo's bday :) wat a good timing.

Mother's Day this Sunday!!
sent mum a present (bro bought de actually) with a card last tues
but forgot to send a card to my grandmas! yup... i usually send mother's day cards even to my waipo and po po. but totally forgot abt it until today!!! since it's too late already, i'll hv to give them a call on the day.

dunno how's my grandma coping with the bad news abt my uncle. sigh.
he was diagnosed for chronic lymphocytic leukemia abt 2,3 wks ago. that's so sudden
saw him in msia and cny, went yumcha with him, my dad and other cousins in tat early morning before we left penang to kl during cny. :(
i would say that he's my dad's sibling that we're the closest to. :(
couldn't imagine that happening in my own family. touchwood!!! :(
'Survival varies from 5 years to more than 25 years.' quoted from wiki.
He's under medication now. cousin said will decide whether he needs chemo after 1 month of medication.

Before this, i was pretty 'determined' to not go back home end of this yr. but gradually, i'm thinking of gg back after my confirmation.
Confirmation is a requirement for every phd student by the end of the first 12 months.
basically will hv to get a review panel (ur own supervisors and other senior ppl in the institute) and give a presentation (<30mins, forgot le), hv to write them a short report, and literature review (3000 words i think). hv to pass confirmation in order to continue the phd candidature.

That day on the phone with dad, forgot wat we were tlkaing abt... i only remember him saying something like '...你买钢琴那边不少钱了...'. that made me really really sad.
dad never said 'expensive' to things that i've asked for, so far. well mayb coz i dont ask for expensive stuff before. coming over to melb to study.... well, i din 'ask for' it, so not counted lar!
even though i'm using my own money for the piano, but still, my heart sank...
__________________________________

walked home today, from work.
surprisingly, it only took me... 17:18-17:43 less than 30 mins!
tram takes 11mins and that doesn't incld walking to tram stop (j-walking across King St is a pain during rush hours) and waiting for the tram. so usually altogether will take me abt 20-30 mins.
mayb should do that more often, of course only when it's not too cold, not raining, not too dark.
can't be bothered to walk to work in the morning after my shower.


but i'll see someone's car on the way......

update update

My 2008 resolution:
a first 'tick' for: To own a digital piano :)
(the 2nd 08' resolution i had at the end of last yr was to get a victorian driving license)

here... meet my new Rolie.... *dang dang dang daaannggg*


















(it's actually nicer looking by the real thing)
got it last wed morning. but it has some problem with one of the keys/notes. so had to wait till fri to ask the person incharge of my order to solve the prob. went to the shop during lunch time on fri, he's gg to swap a new one for me on thurs (24.04).
so thurs... came home at 330pm, waited for the new Rolie. came at 4pm sharp!
they brought it up to assembly in my living room. (the previous one was assembled in their truck downstairs) then took back the 'old' one, i keep the stool.
and i'm happy with this new Rolie so far :)

since i got the Rolie last wed, i've been playing it almost every weekday nites , every weekend afternoons, not excluding the nite before my presentation which was on wed.

so now... i hv another new 2008 resolution:
to get a headphone for Rolie! :D
my neighbour hasn't complain yet. i had to close my windows whenever i play Rolie, and i can't play in the full volume (which means not 'syok' enough)
a Sennheiser/good(?) headphone from HarveyNorman and a Sony dealer costs >$150
a Sony headphone from Dicksmith costs around $50
hmmm......
hvn't try out their difference.
___________________________

did a big experiment (MMCT) on tues. hv done it before end of last yr, but my 2nd supervisor was there guiding me through. this time, he's not around anymore. i did it all by myself :(
hope this one works better than the previous ones (that's why i need to repeat the exp)!!

after my presentation on wed, sort of been thinking abt the 'future' of my phd project...
quite sad case coz... seems like i can only publish paper if i find the right gene (which means if i achieve my project aim). but biomedical research is not always a happy story. it depends on ur luck as well. unlike some other projects out there, whether u achieve ur aim or not, it's still possible to publish ur work coz u'll discover something interesting along the way. but for me, noone would be interested to know wat i've done in my honours last yr (i've eliminated 3 genes from being the causative gene of the particular disease of this particular group of 8 patients) , which obviously din achieve the aim. :(

in the field of biomedical science research, 'you either publish or perish'.

思路太复杂不是件好事

just some updates

went to see fireworks twice this moomba :) i recon it's better than last yr's, hv new 'variations' of the normal fireworks, and the music sort of matches the fireworks.

went to see my supervisor/boss yday.
will need to start revising all the stuff from last yr, after easter weekend.
there're 5 new ppl in the lab since i left 3 months ago. and by the time i start, the renovation in our old lab should be finished.

off to goldcoast tonite!
bro said the apartment is like a holiday resort, nothing much around the area, only beaches.
no internet in the apartment, only tv, aircon, dryer (my dryer in melb is not working) and free electricity (he doesnt' need to pay mar).
dunno wat we will do there, he's working on wkdays, not many shops around and i can't swim, so might really end up reading story book or watching tv at home all day :S
anyway, as long as we are out of melb, erm more specifically... me and my parents are out of the melb apartment, things should be alright.

Back in Melb

Have been back in Melbourne since Sunday.
Have settled all the bills, scholarship document and enrolment,
collected the new student diary and a new student card today :) happy with them
can't do without a student diary.
Have bought tix to goldcoast next week with my parents, for almost a week and is looking fwd to the trip.
Have called my supervisor this morning and will need to discuss abt those 'serious stuff' with him next tues :(

Haven't gone to the market, so dont have any unprocessed meat at home,
can only cook instant meals. and forgot to buy mian xian from asian groc today. seems like i'll hv to eat the 4th packet of instant noodle for dinner tonite

Have to save up money for
a digital piano
a digital camera
and if still hv extra money.... a laptop :P

went to change my term address on the uni website, clicked 'UPDATE', then
in red, a receipt number came out, and also a note saying that an email will be sent to my unimail to notify me the changes i made. then my uni email address was shown in red... @pgrad.unimelb.edu
this is not the first time i realise that my uni email has been changed from @ugrad to @pgrad. but seeing it still made me feel so 'grown-up' (a better word for 'old')

gg back to KL tmr... from Sg
which means gg back to Melb in less than 1 week time...

_____________________

am annoyed when ppl behaves 'un-civilised-ly'
(not that i'm very civilised... but... o well)
am annoyed when i'm feeling unsafe
am annoyed when i dont have my freedom to do wat i want to
am annoyed when the weather is too hot

therefore u might think that i always get annoyed in KL (and probably in SG as well)
but...
I actually spend most of my time at home
or rather.. mayb that's why i spend most of my time at home
>wu2 nai4<

Just found out that my high school classmate has got a baby, who is 5 months old already!
but i'm still studying and will be studying for the next 3 or so years

the news of her getting married shocked me last year

anyhow, as long as she is happy and xin4 fu2 :)

i hate lizards!
there're quite a few of them in our kitchen and dining room
one of them just 'ate' my tauge today when i was having problem fixing my webcam.
_______

a song by a biotech company, for their new PCR (Polymerase Chain Reaction, ghee i still remember them!) machine:



lyrics:

The PCR Song
There was a time when to amplify DNA,
You had to grow tons and tons of tiny cells.
Then along came a guy named Dr. Kary Mullis,
Said you can amplify in vitro just as well.
Just mix your template with a buffer and some primers,
Nucleotides and polymerases, too.
Denaturing, annealing, and extending.
Well it’s amazing what heating and cooling and heating will do.
PCR, when you need to detect mutations.
PCR, when you need to recombine.
PCR, when you need to find out who the daddy is.
PCR, when you need to solve a crime.
(repeat chorus)

Happy birthday to me

it's my birthday today
and it's still my birthday now
so?

My dream car

I was driving this red Alfa Romeo in my dream last nite... :)

I'm proud of my high school classmate :D

http://www.chinapress.com.my/topic/school05/default.asp?dt=upeople&art=20080103people.txt

finally i'm back online :D

have spent the most money this holiday...
spent 600 for my retainer today :S
ya... after so many years without retainer, i finally decided to make a new one. i wore braces when i was in high school. but din put on the retainer ever since i go to melb. really really regret but it's already too late. my teeth is not perfect anymore :( but at least now i'm doing something to prevent it from getting worse.

looking fwd to the hk trip next weekend.
but more looking fwd to sg trip next month.
wahaha

原来吉隆坡市中心的夜景也可以很美
原来开快车真的很爽

I miss my plant in melb, everytime i pour away unfinished water from my cup.
I miss my bed and all the stuff i have on my bed in melb, every night before i sleep.
sounds like I miss melbourne... or rather... i miss the apartment...

my longest holiday

this is my longest break since trinity. and also my longest 'stay' at home since trinity.

i'm home for more than 1 week now.
sort of feeling boring at home, so far i've been watching drama series, play computer game, online, eat. din go out much. only been to klcc (coz of pc fair), pasar malam, the hairdresser nearby, 2 restaurants, the dentist, the optometrist, oh and Penang for 3 days.
looking fwd to wed, going to midvalley, meeting up with yf, and hopefully can do some shopping there.

seems like the HK trip is going to be on.
end of jan. hope that i'll enjoy the trip with my aunt. mum MIGHT go.

dont feel like going home... how arr?? :(

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?

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You scored as Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health You should strongly consider majoring in Nursing, Athletic Training, or related majors (e.g., Chiropractics, Nutrition/Dietetics, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Radiologic Technology, Rehabilitation Services, Respiratory Therapy). It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal. Biology/Chemistry/Geology 69% Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 69% Visual&PerformingArts 56% Physics/Engineering/Computer 56% Education/Counseling 56% Religion/Theology 56% HR/BusinessManagement 50% Psychology/Sociology 44% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 38% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 31% Mathematics/Statistics 31% French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 31% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 25% English/Journalism/Comm 19%

光良 卫兰 - 童梦 (Live)

There's also a mandarin version of this song.

less than one more month, i'll be home...
that's faster than i expected. used to think that i'll hv heaps of time here chillin in melb before goin home, but now it seems like 3 weeks is too short for me.
well, not that i wont come back here again, but it'll be a different 'stage' next year. either i'll be still a student or i'll be looking for a job.

i'm hving a second thought now whether to do a phd next year. mainly becoz of the other colleagues, or should say 'potential colleagues' in the lab. din get along too well with them, as in dont hv much common topics for conversation, dont 'bitch abt other ppl' with them.
but they did show good moral support for me this year, with my talks, thesis, experiments. i'm getting mix messages here. or it's probably my communication problems, or my poor english?

on the other hand, i have a really good primary supervisor and a good project.

finally finished my talk today!!! which means, that's the end of my honours!!!!! woohoo!!

erm... well, i wasn't feeling as excited as the day i handed in my thesis. mayb i was too excited then, so now dont feel as much already.
or mayb it's sad coz noone's there to 'celebrate' with me :(

There are 4 things you cannot recover...
the stone after the throw,
the word after it's said,
the occasion after the loss,
the time after it's gone.

sigh... i'm here, thinking and feeling regret of wat i said 4 hours ago.

wed is my final presentation, the last 'task' for my honours. and i've had 3 practice runs already so far since last wed, and today's the last one. my supervisor finally said that he's happy with my presentation. But i know that i still dont do well in answering questions from the audience. he threw a number of questions to me and i couldn't answer them confidently and well enough, and i know that.
he asked if i want to practice that, by throwing more questions to me tmr, he also said that it's more helpful to hv ppl asking u questions to practice, rather than trying to answer it or practice by urself. but i didnt want to practice anymore tmr. mainly becoz i'm lazy to go all the way (not very far tho, i know) to RCH. :( it's a very bad reason. so now i regret. :(

and even if tmr morning i said i want to practice, it's not very nice lar.. as if he's there 24hr standby for me. so... sigh... my supervisor is really concern abt my presentation, that's why i had 3 practice runs in less than a week!!!
and wat's worse is... i said i'll give him a call tmr morning if i want to practice!! can't belive i said that! tsk tsk tsk :$ :$ :$ :$

now can't do anything to change it le, can i?


and i'm not goin to strawberry picking anymore on thurs :(

woohoo!! Jay's new songs are good
he's hving his concert in s'pore in jan!!
and this is his new movie coming in 2008 灌篮, directed by 曾志伟

that's the 3 copies of my thermal-bound, 12955 words, 93 pages (incld 5 pgs of references and 8 pgs of appendices), single-sided, single spacing, 2.5cm margin.
worth 60% of my whole honours mark!
my 10 months of hard work!!
well, abt 8 months of lab work + 4 weeks writing up
hv been sleeping for less than 6 hours each day in average for the past 2 or 3 weeks (except the previous weekend :P)
almost forgot abt my bro's bday until i saw the expiry date on my bread;
almost missed my aunt's bday which is tmr when i usually send her card one week before;
totally forgot on which date am i goin home.
it's all over now!!! well, almost... one more presentation to go!

2008's Resolution

my 2008's Resolution:

• get a digital piano
• get a victorian driving license (which means i hv to practice more when i go home)
  

i know it's a bit early... but today, it's exactly one month before my Honours year finish and when my holiday starts! :D
that's the only two things i can make sure i do them, the others... can only depend on my luck and my results and other stuff that i can't 'control'.

was tram-ing pass spencer street station and skybuses...
can't wait to get onto the aeroplane, go back home, go cambodia, or actually, anywhere away from melb

今天又被 supervisor 问 thesis 写到怎样了，感觉就像被爸爸问功课做到怎样了...

this morning, i was really blur...
but my supervisor is also blur... or even worse? coz at least i did realise the mistake 4 hours later
or just because he trusts me?

Royal Melbourne Show 07

Finally been to the royal melbourne show. first time in nearly 5 years since i came to melb :S
went to buy tix on friday from the postshop,
checked for the events from the daily planner at the website,
browsed through the showbags at the website,
checked train timetable.

today, without waiting for yf to finish her lunch with her fren, me and grace took the train to showground from flinders :P so yf came to join us there later :$ paiseh ar yf, we never wait for u

spent like nearly 2 hours in the showbags hall.
conclusion is: dont buy stuff from showbags until u finish walking around the showground. coz u can get stuff like the inflatable toys by itself outside the showbag hall.

walked around, headed to the pig racing but din actually watch it coz we found that open air circus should be more interesting than that, so walked to the circus place and they said they cancelled it coz of the strong wind!! :S
so we walked to the dog show... but they already finished the show! they never follow the schedule printed behind the map that they gave us!! :S
so we ended up watching sheep shearing. >.<

had fish and chips and krispy kreme for dinner
then yf went home.
left the two of us there.

wondered around, trying to find homer/bart
we asked the two ladies carrying a homer where she got it from,
1 min later, their guy fren who won that homer came to us with the homer, and gave it to us! just shocked, and also felt suspicious
but still, we happily walked around the games area with the homer and some showbags and the inflated baseball bats. :P
played the basketball game, won a small tigger after the guy gave me 3 extra chances. sigh.. but still couldn't get all in to get the bigger toy... 失败失败 dont ask me i thrown in how many times... forgot liao...

after the 4x4 and motorbike stunt, laser and firework show started at 845 for 15 mins. went home after that.

met a homeless guy at the tram stop. he came to talk to me abt my inflated baseball bat, where he went, his medibank card, his injured toes... dunno how to reply him when he asked me which tram i'm taking, incase he have bad intention
then he got on the same tram as me! and he got up from his original seat and came to sit infront of me! he asked where i'm goin, i'm so scared and dunno wat to tell him.
he got off at souther cross station, i asked him where is he catching the train to, he asked me to come nearer and whispered to me that he's homeless, and told me to shhh....

abt 1hr later... homer is in the garbage bin...

i'm bored....

how many times do i need to tell you that i dont have exams anymore and i'm still busy with my project and thesis??!!!!

郭靜 & 范瑋琪& 張韶涵 - 仨人

mum asked me to call home coz dad said long time (since his bday) never hear my voice liao. but i told her i'm busy, hvn't cook dinner, hv things to hand in tmr which i hvn't finish. and said i'll call tmr instead.
felt bad...
so i called home while i was eating my dinner.

talking to dad,
frustrated abt hving to explain to him abt the 'project structure', like why do i need to go to lab on weekends, why only me in the whole office goes back to work on weekends.
almost 2 months left for my hons year and i still need to explain this kind of things to my parents.
all becoz of the lack of communication...

a number of my frens and coursemates graduated today.
刚刚就去看回我以前（也就是去年loh）毕业时拍的照片，又想起以前 biomed 时的日子，比起现在今年，真的差太远了。以前是为了考试时读书或有时 ctg 所以没准时吃，也很少是因为做功课，而现在是常常因为做 labwork 而没吃好没睡好，更别说放假。越想就越觉得可怜。但也是自己拿来的。
我也有在读 honours 的朋友可以 weekend 不用去 lab,　几乎每天还可以五点回家的。

捱多这几个月，接下来还有几年要捱？

今天是爸爸的生日。
早上打了电话给爸爸，从 trinity year, 每次跟爸爸讲长途电话，挂电话前他都会在电话的另一端 give me a kiss，然后我就会哭了。
听爸爸说二哥会给他一个 bday surprise 问二哥他又不讲，
突然好想家...

小时候，父亲节、母亲节什么的都会做卡片给爸妈
现在大了，只有买张卡寄回去
......

i think i really need a break, away from my project.
i'm feeling lack of motivation and moral support now.
I didn't feel worried or sad when my experiment failed before this. but now, any little problem made me feel like giving up.
today, well just 2 hours ago, i left my agarose gel to set on the bench and went for afternoon tea. 20 mins later when i came back, someone shifted the combs in the gel! and of course the gel was set and i can't do anything to rescue it. had to throw the gel away and make a new one. eventhough the whole thing is not hard to make at all and it'll take me 8 mins to make the gel and 10-15 mins for it to set, but i nearly burst into tears when i saw the shifted combs in my gel.
i'm sure the person who did that did it unintentionally. and i think i know who that is coz she used the other equipment which is just behind my gel. well there could be someone else who was there just that i wasn't sure. but anyway, i dont want to know who that person is and tha'ts not important.

i need a break...

鉴定结果
您的心理年龄24岁

与您实际年龄差2岁

幼稚度36％

成熟度61％

老化度11％

how would you let your friend(s) know that you don't like the bday present they got you?
or you won't want to coz 'it's the thought that counts'?

can't believe this

yesterday, left for home at 4.45pm, went to pick up some documents on my way home. reached home before 5.30pm, had my early dinner while watching 'Deal or no deal'. finished dinner, felt empty but hyped up (becoz of the 3 ferrero roche that i had before my dinner?) then suddenly remembered that i didn't turn off one of the equipment that i used this afternoon (but it's ok to leave it on actually), sms Canny to see if she's still in the lab and can turn it off for me.

while waiting for her reply, i feel like goin back to work in the lab. then i went...
5 mins after i left my building, realised that i forgot to bring my key card to the lab. >< walked all the way back and went out again.
reached there before 6.30, bumped into my supervisor at the hospital entrance. he didn't say much, just a 'hi chern' and gave me a smile.

left the building at 9.25pm, the cleaner was still there doing her job. i actually felt safe with her around somewhere on the same floor.

--------
and today, after Max Brenner-ing with the few ppl from my lab, i dont feel like going home. so i walked around in melb central, went into borders and i bought some books!!!
that is very unusual for me, coz i dont read, so i dont buy book!
well, thanks to the new harry potter book. since it came out few days ago, i went to borders one day (before today) and almost bought the book while they are on '3 for 2'. and today, i really bought them. two HP books and a David Baldacci (i never heard of his name before this) book.
or mayb coz i hvn't been reading (textbooks) for these few months since april, i miss books?! :P

hope i'll finish reading all these books, coz one of the reason i dont read (storybooks) is bcoz i usually stop reading it after a few pages (except the first 3 HP and DaVinciCode)

Friday, ~5.30pm, lab
i was still doin my work and the cleaner came in to do her work, she usually starts her work at around 5pm till 9 something (or even later?)
cleaner: it's friday, you should go home early
me: yea i know... i wish i can.
cleaner: well, at least you know you're here helping someone.
me: yea... (smile)

then i thought... helping someone? but i'm doin my own project.
after a few minutes, i'm still thinking wat she means...
oh! i think she means i'm doing medical research, helping the sick ppl.
awww.... touched*

moral of the story is:
see how selfish i am and how she has a big heart

just realized that i haven't been turning on my windows media player for the past 2.5 weeks when my aunt is here! i miss my songs so much! feels so good now with the music on. :)

It's been long since i last blogged here.
my aunt from S'pore came to visit me for 2.5 weeks. She's leaving this Sat.
She works in S'pore at NIE, so whenever i go to S'pore for holiday, i'll stay with her. She's quite close to me since i was young. She's not married. For things that happen to me in uni, or in my work now, I can talk to her but i dont like to talk to my parents abt those stuff. Maybe just because she understands more than my parents do. Mayb because she's a lecturer in NIE, she understands uni student (like me) better?
and also, i won't be able to study in Australia without her financial support.

but last week, i started to get a bit frustrated with her. I know i shouldn't. coz all she did was, giving me advise on some of the what i would call 'common-sense' stuff, or things that i've already knew or thought of. I have this problem as well when my parents came end of last year, for my graduation! :(
whole week last week, i woke up early to go to the lab early, to avoid any potential conflict, not because i i'm so hardworking.

then last weekend, it became slightly better, when i tell myself that she's going back soon. and i should be good.
So this week was good, so far. I took half day off Tuesday, to bring her out.

sigh... now i'm feeling a bit sad. It's always like this.

sorry... i'm here to grumble again...
seems like not many good things happen to me
ppl who are not interested in the details my lab experiments, you can basically skip this blog entry.

this time is abt PAUL.
PAUL is annoying!
he's old and dodgy, but my supervisor still likes him.

twice already, becoz of paul, i had to go back to the lab all the way, once from home 7.55pm tram, the other time was just now, 8 something, from the city and with my aunt who came visit me here in melb.

oh by the way, PAUL is the name of a PCR machine in our lab
we have 3 PCR machines, and they all have names - CHAD, BRAD and PAUL
CHAD and BRAD are the newest ones we have.
PAUL is an older model so there are some settings that have to be done manually
and he can't hold completed PCR at 4 degrees, instead, sometimes they'll be at 24, 25 C or even 29, 30C like just now!
high temperature is bad for DNA (oh... PCR is a reaction to make more DNA from a minimum amount of DNA as starting material)

i was right at the first time, luckily i went back to check the settings
but this time, i was too paranoid coz i had the settings right before i left at 5.30pm but when i went back just now, it was at 30C!

i've been repeating my PCR for so many times already and they aren't working until this afternoon.
so if this one is screwed (which i'll know on monday), i'll blame PAUL totally!

I did explain to my supervisor abt my concern with using Paul, but he said room temp is ok for DNA, that's considering 24C as room temp, but now it's 30C!!!
luckily i didn't leave it for overnight (which i planned to go back to the lab only on tmr morning).

i think i have communication problem
or mayb it's a language barrier thing
but it's probably because my life is too boring to be talked abt

can't wait for the end of tmr!

is my mind too complicated?
or my life is just complicated?

i'm very pissed and unhappy and upset recently!
i know... so long since i've updated my blog and now i'm behaving like this.

it all started on Sunday when i realised that i have to submit my PR application by 14th June or else i'll hv to wait till i finish my honours. Can only blame myself for that coz i didn't read the information properly until that Sunday.
It was suppose to be a happy weekend. until Sunday morning.
After hitting that panic button, started gathering my documents, decided to make appointment with migration consultant for Monday asap, appointment for health check, print out forms etc.
Monday, took a few hours off (which means half a day off) to see the lawyer at QueenSt. That was a big relief coz he is very friendly and answered all my questions nicely. unlike the previous experience i had with another lawyer, who changed attitude when started talking about consultation fees and not willing to tell me much stuff.

Then Monday night, found out that the birth certs that were certified and translated to English in Penang are total crap! not certified properly, not photocopied properly! there goes my second panic button!
called home, sort-of-scolded by dad for not checking the docs properly when i received them from my uncle etc... i was at the point of giving up this whole application process at that night.

Tues morning, took half day off again to settle my stuff, calling immigration office to ask some stuff, sent some files for my bro online, certified most of my photocopied docs, came out with a solution for the birth cert (more abt that later).
and tues, some ppl were suppose to change the carpet at the corridor on our floor. we were told to leave our doors opened. but before i left home at 1130am, still no sign of them coming.
when i got home at night, saw that my hsmate did this round's washing (basically means putting in clothes into the machine, wash powder, softener, pressed and turned a few buttons and dials on the machine) and dried the clothes on the rack. that was one of the big smile for my day!

Today, mum and dad went to get those birth certs certified by a lawyer in kl, and sent them to me via registered mail. then they told me that each signature costs RM50! so altogether RM350 (seven copies including 3 of my bro's), plus the mailing costs which is RM66! you do the sum! courier the original documents to me wont even cost half that money!! certifying docs here in melb doesn't cost a single cent!
when they told me in the afternoon (when i'm in the office) that the certification costs RM50 each, i thought she was just making that up and just want me to feel bad. but just now, she told me again and the mailing cost. and she said last time in penang, it costs the same.
They never told me that they need to pay for that in Penang. what i know was my aunt asked her fren to do it. and last time when i told mum how much it costs to translate docs here, she said cheaper back there. so fine! let her do it in penang!
but now, she's telling me all this!

i'm just upset that i wasn't being told the truth since the beginning. ok, mayb they just want me to feel better at that time, then, why tell me now??!!
and on mon night, dad blamed me for not listening to him when he suggested to let uncle bring me the original documents.

or maybe they didn't know what have been going through my mind?
i've thinking abt wat's best and easiest for them and now it turned out to be the opposite.
and telling them more abt wat i'm thinking doesn't equal to making things better.

hope all this chaos will end on 14th june 2007!
wish me luck!

what if...

After a phone call, someone from our lab had just rushed to the hosp in Dandenong to see her family (grandfather i think) who was very sick in the hosp. She was in tears as soon as she heard the bad news on the phone.

Then i thought.... what IF something bad happens to my parents, or my bro, or my grandma in M'sia and i'm STUCK here in Melb?! :(
even if i go to the airport straight away to catch the next flight back home, i wont make it there until at least the next 10 hours!

I miss NZ
miss holiday
miss home
miss mum, dad and bros
miss camp 06
:(

空...

空...
是空虚？
还是空闲？

guess i'm both.

Time to work harder for my project. But then, sometimes it's not that i dont want to stay back late and do more work, but i depend on other ppl to do my work. I have to wait for them to teach me certain things before i can carry out on my own. And i still depend on the presence of my supervisor, eventhough i dont need him to be at my side watching me doing the experiment, but in case i'm screwed, if he's around in the office, there's someone for me to ask.

Monday, goin to do a western blot, which i've done a trial run by my own which was a successful one, last week. So Monday, eventhough i can only start this 1 whole day + half a day experiment after lunch time (coz i need someone to show me how to quantitate the protein before i can do the experiment), i decided to stay back late after hours to do it so that i wont waste the other half of my day doing nothing. And also this time, i'll be doing the experiment with the phD student in my lab, she'll be doing with her samples, i'll be doing mine. different samples, same technique.
and tuesday is the AGM for MCRI, which will take up almost half of hour day. So if i dont start my experiment on monday, i'll have to wait till wed and half of thurs. The AGM will be held in the ACMI at fed sq, followed by a lunch.

My parents went to Cameron Highlands for a weekend last week but i forgot abt that although my mum told me few weeks ago. It was mother's day last sunday. So when i called mum's hp, they're at Cameron already. For those who dunno, Cameron Highlands is one of the tourist spot in m'sia. not too far from KL (can't remember how many hours drive but definitely less than 3 hours i think). i've been there once, according to my parents, not long after i was born, which means i was still a baby who doesn't know anything. haha!
when i signed into msn after 5pm in office, Mum was online too and asked me if i want to see the photos they took at Cameron. so bro sent all of them to me just now.
photos aren't great, as in no spectacular scenery or wat, but i was really happy to see that the both of them are having a good holiday there. Mum just retired from her work this year. Dad sort of retired last year. Unlike some of my friends, our family couldn't afford to go on holiday every year. So eventhough this is just Cameron Highlands, i can feel that my mum is really happy. and i'm happy for them too. :)

Now i'm the only one still studying, still need financial support from my parents. I really hope that my parents can have the opportunity to travel more.
Mum's going to the states (where my uncle and his family live) this June, together with my other aunt and grandma. Dad said he couldn't go coz he has to take care of the house! but my bro will be at home anyway coz he needs to work! So... :(

sigh... when can i earn enough money to let my parents enjoy their life more?

______________

yday morning, when i was waiting for the lift to the office, a question struck me when i saw a slightly disabled kid.
'how will you react if their child was born with disability?' even if it's just a cleft lip, or a facial feature that 'doesn't look nice enough'? will u still love your child??

all over...

It's over...
last show on Friday night.
Wasn't able to focus during the day in the lab. Did a few stupid mistakes when doing DNA　extraction for a few samples. :S But consequences aren't too serious lar.
Was later than i planned when i finish my experiment and leave to uni. Partly due to my careless mistakes.

Last chance to watch the show, last chance pulling the curtains, last chance at the backstage of the theater, last chance in the dressing room of the theater. so much memories!
This last show, for the first time, I did the English voice over announcement just before the show started. The one saying welcome, thnx sponsor, no smoking eating drinking in theatre etc. So after this production, i had a taste of almost every position in a theater production:
costume & makeup (2007), props (2006), sets (05,06), backstage (05,06), sound (05 in cmg), APM (07), and i say this production i'm also a 'part time assistant SM' :P, pull curtain, on headset (dunno how to spell 'cans'), VO announcement.
so left the lighting and projection departments, usher and the admin team.

and surprisingly, noone cried at the end. Thought i'll be emotional.
we (me, jingying and fred) gave the director, SMs, department heads, designers and operators each a small souvenirs that we had made: a laminated printed group photo with our few words behind the photo. (fred didn't prepare any for ourselves!! :( ) spent a few hours to write the little notes on wed night after the rehearsal. was up till almost 4am eventhough had to work the next morning. but still couldn't finish all the 27 notes. (sam, shiyang: those are the 'notes'/'love notes' that i wrote after the supper on wed :P) continued in office and the tearoom the next day :P
and at the end of the show, the three of us gave everyone in the production and most of admin ppl each a tulip. i went to ordered them on monday night, jingying and fred went to pick up on fri afternoon. the tulips were hidden somewhere in the theatre until the very end of the show :)

The post-production supper was crazy! everyone's busy writing each other's booklets! we occupied the second floor of the restaurant. and it's like a market! almost a hundred of us i think, or even more. should hv taken a photo of that market.

went home straight after supper. super tired...


had my IELTS test the next morning 8.30am. which means i only slept for 4 hours before the test.
the test was ok i think. not hoping to get too good results, as long as it's enough for me to apply my PR. yea... production's over, no excuse to not do my application now.

Went to Bobby's hs for bbq at ard 5pm.
i think this is one of the best party at Bobby's. more than 30 ppl were there last nite. built bbq pits, set up the pits, cook the food, eat, some ppl watched Saw3, play mahjong, then most ppl got together and play the 'killer game'. that game reminds me of the ctg camp 2006. :( that was one of my good memories in my ctg history.
they're having a camp this year too. in july. still hvn't decide whether to go or not. it's on the last fri-sun of uni winter hol. but i hv no holiday! so even if i go, i can only go after work on fri nite.

leaving bobby's hs last nite was a bit sad... coz that might be the last time i ever go to that hs, see the two doggies (one of them ate the crab meat ball that i bbq-ed for so long!!). seeing bobby and JiaLing waving gd bye to us outside the house was like quite sad. :(

Had an 8 hours sleep till 11am this morning.
woke up and thinking wat to do today... the first question i ask myself was... 'any ctg stuff to do today?' starting to hv a bit of the 'post-production syndrome' this morning. But then not as bad as the past. hmm...
went to lab at 1230, till 230 to do tissue culture. then to return Grace's dvd. then did some grocery shopping. never had time to go grocery shopping since last weekend.
came home and cooked dinner. 2 weeks since the last time i cook a proper meal at home! the other thing i cooked in this 2 weeks at home are once or twice instant noodles/instant udon noodles. had been eating out coz of rehearsals and shows.

was planning to finish my bioinformatics analysis tonight but... until now, 8.40pm, hvn't started doin it yet. :P just lazy!

hvn't been blogging for long long time
coz i've been busy working, handed in my lit review last fri, finished my practice talk on wed, goin to have my real talk next tues (it's my honours hurdle requirement), and CTG-ing!!

last nite was our first show. yea.. once it's started... it means that it's goin to end soon :(
during the show, my job is to pull the front curtain and let the stage managers know when the casts are ready on the stage before the light goes on. i'm standing on a chair, with my little torch (which gives out purple light) and script, on the headphones, and pulling curtain is not a 'pleasant' job coz it hurts ur hands!

did a few mistakes last nite, not with the curtains, but with the casts. for 1 of the scenes, didn't manage to see whether the cast is ready already (it's total black behind ) and i told SM that casts is ready.. so the light went on but no cast there :(

they did put up some light for us after the curtain is closed, and lights off just before the cast is goin out to the front curtain. but if the cast is suppose to get on stage from the right (i'm standing on the left), i coudltn' really tell properly who is who. all i can see is the movement of the person and curtain. and that's how i 'predict' that they are ready or not. :(
but anyway, last nite's show was great! audience response was very good during and after the show. i was sooo happy and touched when the audience gave response during the show. nearly cried during the curtain call (for those who dunno, that's when the casts go on stage and bow after the show ends). ya... i know.. it's only the first show. :(

i'm very happy with the ppl in my lab. why? coz i can feel the love. haha!!

1) wed was my practice talk in our weekly group meeting. the grp meeting is for our lab (the research and diagnostic part of the group) and the clinical group of ppl from 9th floor. so if everyone turns up, it'll be abt 18 ppl. but that wed, only ppl from our lab turned up. which is good! well, the others probably din come coz it's just my practice session and nothing else is important (usually there's 1 speaker presenting a paper or 1 speaker presenting the work they've done). so great! my talk went from 4.25pm for 15 mins. then, everyone stayed back and went through my slides one by one to give me feedback! and it went till 5.30pm! usually ppl just can't wait to go home at 5pm sharp. but this time they stayed back and not just listen to wat my supervisors have to say to me, but they joined in to give constructive comments!
i'm just happy :)

2) and i've told my supervisor abt leaving early for the shows these two weeks and he's absolutely fine with it being supportive.

3) and yday, i left work at 430 and all of them know that i hv my first show that nite and wished me good luck. and canny was on her mobile phone when i said bye and walked out of the office. she ran out of the office with her phone still one and wish me good luck!
i'm just happy :)

I've got my results back from my exam few weeks ago and also the bioinformatics assignment which was handed in last month. and i'm happy with the results :)

see... all these little things that made me happy in the lab/office eventhough my experiment didn't work well/still hv lots of lab work and comp work to keep up etc my mood changed as i stepped into the theatre.
5 semester in ctg so far and this is definitely goin to be the last one. i'm most happy while i'm a crew in the first 2 semesters and as the workshop manager last yr first sem. but since then, last sem, this sem especially i'm not 100% enjoing my 'job'. this sem is really a frustrated and dramatic one for me. it really chaned my perspective to many ppl in ctg, this includes lots of disappointments. it's probably wat that makes me decided to end my 'life in ctg'.
it's very contradicting. i love ctg but at the same time i hate ctg.

so for now, i'll try my best to enjoy this last few days of ctg while i can. i'll definitely miss it after it's finish.....

too much to write
too much to think
too much to do
too much to settle
too much to worry

I'm not a good 'boss'
i dunno how to communicate properly with other ppl in the hierarchy.
i dunno how to persuade ppl to follow my way.
i dunno how to make decision, think properly when i'm in front of a 'mess'.
i'm easily moved by other ppl's words.

and i care wat ppl think abt me!

Finally...

Finally i can sleep in today! and maybe tmr and Monday! :D
miss those uni days when u can just sleep at 3am and wake up after 12pm during holidays or weekends. Now, i'm very aware of public holidays (coz those are my only hols).

Haven't been blogging for quite some time now.
My exam, my last exam ever, just finished on Monday.
Had a crazy weekend before that Monday. So if i really end up with shitty results, i can only blame myself :S
It's time to start my new task - literature review which is due end of this month

Yday, I received easter eggs from frens and colleagues for the first time in my life!! hahaha!
LiJeen (a biomed fren doin honours in MCRI) gave me the biggest one with a little ribbon tied around in and a little note attached;
a sales rep gave everyone one little egg (hazelnut filled, and some crunchy bits too);
Alycia (another biomed fren doin honours in MCRI) gave me 3 little eggs (I gave one of them to Canny after i tried one out and it's really nice :P);
Erin (the motherly research assistant in the diagnostic lab of our group) gave each of us 3 sugar coated ones and 2 other paper wrapped ones).


Had a good gathering with old Trinity frens last night. Ezien came to Melb from HK before flying off to Syd for her training. So Fendy and Eway etc organized this dinner gathering at Manchester Lane. Good food (i wasn't there for the food but heard it's good), good music, good company :) I guess this is the best gathering we ever have since our second yr of uni (my housewarming party was quite a good one in yr 1 yea?), as in the few who dont usually turn up, came last nite.

ok.. grumble time...

I've reached my lowest body weight in these 4+ years since i came to Melb (well, i seldom weigh myself before that). Then just few days ago, had a diarrhea. Issit just stress or no proper eating habits?

and this production really made me change my thoughts abt some ppl... most of them are disappointments. How can the relationship between ppl change so quickly? well, months? years?

and i'm tired of explaining to ppl (uni students) that i'm doing honours now, wat i do in honours, how's my 'working hours' like, i dont follow uni holidays etc...
and i'll be 'off' when ppl seem to think that my honours life is an easy year etc...

I want a holiday! I need a holiday! even just a weekend away from the Melbourne city.
sometimes when i'm doing my work, i'll daydream abt holiday-ing in Syd and NZ. really miss my holiday in NZ last year with my parents and bro. :(

and i need to start doing something for my PR application. heard that they'll change the rules in a few months time. :(
will be taking my IELTS test the day after bump-out! :S 8.30am exam!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

common sense is actually not common

why are there ppl who have no common sense?!
eg be late for 30 mins, hving the whole group of 15-20 ppl waiting for her? and hv no good reason for being late
eg why some ppl dont clean up the mess after they use the kitchen/tea room?

all these ppl are not small kids! they are all uni students or those who are already working and are at least graduated from uni.

busy week

things seem to turn better since tuesday. i'd been very frustrated and stressed up lately.
firstly, DNA extraction seemed to work (and yea.. it works and i just sent it for genotyping today). been unsuccessful in extracting DNA for the past attempts. after work, rush down to city (before the shops close) to buy graduation present for a fren (yes... that's U!!), then went all the way back to garage to sort out costumes for wed's fulldress rehearsal. so ... relieved that things seemed to be more organised.

then, on Wed morning i took the 8.04am tram no.55 and there were a few tram inspectors in plain clothes on the tram. luckily i validated my tix. coz i (used to) hv this 'theory' that tram no.55 doesn't hv inspectors checking our tix. and i did this little experiment, validating my tix every trip since feb till early march and never hv my tix checked so since early march, i sometimes didn't validate my tram tix. so my theory was proven wrong. :P
Wed evening was a bit of chaos. first, my first gel (to confirm the quality of the DNA extracted) in the morning wasn't good. then when i re-run the same sample, same amount on a fresh gel, it turned out well. but it was too late to send it over for genotyping on that evening (hv to do it before 5pm), so my plan to be at uni at 5pm was ruined.
so i was late for fulldress rehearsal which i'm suppose to be there by 530.
after rushing to union hs to take pics with 3 frens who graduated on that day, went to ict for the rehearsal. but i couldn't find them coz they changed the venue (still in ict.. but dunno where in ict). and no one answered my phone! then i decided to look around myself and found them upstairs. :S
then today, brought the sample to AGRF (australian genome research facility) which is situated at WEHI and so i'm free pretty much from 4.15pm. so happy that i finish early! but... nothing to do, nowhere to go coz the weather is super hot! and imagine i walked all the way from RCH!
waited at Sidney Myer centre (found that the air conditioning there is the best) until 5.45pm for production meeting at UH.

so tmr is night market! CTG is hving a short sketch from 7.40pm at concrete lawn.
am looking fwd to it but on the other hand, hoping that everything goes smoothly.

sat... planning to go to office do my bioinformatics stuff. yea.. only one comp in the office has the programs i need but usually that comp is occupied during normal hours. and good that my supervisor postponed my weekly meeting with him from Fri to next monday. so i still hv time to do it and hopefully get some results for him on monday (this is also one of the 'things that turned better this week' :)).
then 5.30pm dinner then 7pm FINA! :D hv been looking fwd to FINA since i bought the tix end of last year. but the heat seems to go down since few weeks ago. We're watching synchronised swimming, team final.

ok lar.. i should study now... since i hv the mood to study tonite.
yea... need to hv the right mood to study. :P

i'm so sorry

yday, found out that i had a really really stupid mistake.
but i couldn't recall that i actually did that.
but other than me, i couldn't think of anyone else who could have done that.
it's a mistake that cannot be corrected ever.
i didn't apologize yet, hoping tht noone will ever realise it, noone will ever bring it up until they've forgotten who i am. and also even if i do apologize, i wont be forgiven, and then more and more ppl will know abt it, and they will remember it for a few years at least.
i really do feel sorry about wat i've done.

Labour Day

it was Labour Day today for Victoria. dont hv to work today, but i went back to change do some media change for the cells in the morning.
boba pearl at lygon was closed down!! :( i love the bubble tea there very much! especially their pearls, the best in melbourne!! sigh... now i can only hv ezyway's.

why do i always care abt wat ppl will think abt me?!!
eg today, din get to say 'thank you' to a fren in the afternoon and i'm still thinking abt that now!
there are many times when my brain just got blank suddenly, couldn't remember wat was i suppose to be doing at that moment. sometimes i'll recall it after a few seconds, sometimes i just couldn't remember and then it came back into my mind after awhile. not to say my short term memory that i've always hv, especially on stuff that i'd learned in lectures, things that i've studied for exam.
how can i get things staying in my mind permanently??!!

few days ago, a guy fren said to me that girls are troublesome becoz they are sensitive, explode out of the sudden, emotional etc. i totally agree tht girls are much sensitive than guys are (well, most guys). that's the reason why guys might think that girls are too emotional and will explode easily. guys din know wat girls hv been feeling or thinking until they show out by being emotional or some unexpected reactions. other girls might not think that's emotional or unexpected coz they 'follow' wat's goin on since the beginning.

sometimes, i thought that mayb being less sensitive (especially towards guys) aren't a bad thing after all. coz while u're guessing wat's happening, wat does that mean from that person etc, it actually mean nothing at all.

i'm getting tired of doing things that other ppl should share the responsibility of. just dont understand why she is not aware of wat i've been doing all the while. should i say tht coz she's inconsiderate or i'm being too considerate? or becoz i always act faster than her so there's not a 'chance' for her to do it?

i wish that i'm just a kid...

felt betrayed
am tired

i'm blogging from my office.
was looking at my monthly calender... 3 weeks to the 20%worth 3-hour exam... i really need to study more now. managed to finish 3/4 of lecture 1 during the last weekend. 9 lectures altogether so far. will have 16 in total by the end of this month, and have 4 days after the last lecture before the exam on 2nd April.

will go for moomba festival's fireworks on sat night. :D
that is one of my highlights for the year.
Monday is Labour Day, it's a holiday for me. But i MIGHT still come to the lab to change media for my cells. well, my supervisor said it's ok to leave it till tuesday, but i dont want it to scramble up my tissue culture routine which happens mon, wed and fri every week. will see how...

不知不觉地，今天是元宵节了。
今年的农历新年对我来说真的很不像新年。完全没有过年的兴奋。

人与人之间的沟通真的很复杂，会有很多机会出现误会。今天，又‘揭发‘了一个小误会。

最近，没有什么特别/不平凡的事发生。好像没有什么好blog的。:P

week 4

time flies!! week 4 already! but i feel like i haven't done much yet for my honours project. :(
dunno if i've mentioned abt this before....
since honours started, i didn't have the feeling of 'looking fwd to weekend' during weekdays. i think it's a good sign which means i (quite) like my weekdays. :) or mayb just becoz weekends are not much different from weekdays? but of course, i'll feel happier on friday night. :D

went for the seminar on every wed today. i fell asleep half way through (as usual) until they showed us a very touching emotional video of a mother and her son with cerebral palsy at the end of the seminar. That video showed how the mother takes care of her disabled son, she mentioned that she lost her other son (the twin brother) and how she still missed him but have to be strong to take care of this son. ppl (not just me) in the theater got teary at the end of that video. there's no cure for that neurological disorder. it makes me think of a girl from my extended family who has Angelmann syndrome (if i'm not wrong). i only see her in Penang during CNY usually. i'm not close to her family. I only know that she's not down syndrome. but as i know more abt Angelmann syndrome, i think that's wat happening to her.
wat really made me feel sad for them is, how are these children going to survive when their parents aren't able to look after them anymore?
i see sick children and happy children everyday in the lift, at the corridor. i really feel how lucky i am to be able to grow and live healthy.
and also, i made a conclusion today after watching that video. that is, i can't be a doctor or even a physiotherapist or anything like that. coz i'm sure when i see those patients, i'll become emotional and stuff. (does that mean i can't be a genetic counselor as well?!)

week 3

been busy this week...
3 2hr-lectures, a library tute (learned how to search papers on database), a bioinformatics tute (learned how to do my assignment 2), a bit of lab work, started learning to do tissue culture (TC), gatherings, farewells.
went to the lab just before 8am on thurs to finish up some sequencing prep before going to 9am lec. that was my first time in the lab that early in the morning when noone else from my lab was around. that was also my first time i did lab work without my supervisor's supervision :P was a bit worried when noone turned up at 9am coz i need to go to lecture. 5 mins past 9, Canny (the PhD student in the lab) came in (finally). she showed me the last step of the procedure and then off I go to lecture. those sequence had been back, will analyze them on monday with my supervisor at my side. :)
started learning to do TC. i hv a flask of cells to look after. hv to make sure the cells are dividing and growing happily, free from contamination.
other than that, been doing lots of data analysis on the computer this week when i'm not in the lab.
we all went for a farewell lunch on thurs. one of the postdocs are leaving at the end of this week. it's always nice to hv everyone from the group/lab goin to tea breaks, lunch, seminars, or meetings together. but yea.. this is a farewell lunch tho. means we'll hv one less ppl for those 'group activities' from next week. :( although i dunno him long, i only join the lab for 3 weeks so far, but he thought me a few tips and he's a really nice person. quite sad to see him go.

today, did TC work at 8.30am before goin to the animal welfare training at 930 in uni.
the training (are basically lecture series from 930am till 3pm) is like a small gathering for most honours students. i met a few familiar faces from biomed in the lectures. my supervisor and an RA went to the training too. so 3 of us sat together, i feel like my 'dad'(my supervisor lar) came to lecture with us too. :D
i've been looking fwd to this training thingy eventhough the things i learned are probably not applicable to me this year (since i'm not doin anything on animals in my hons proj), but the fact that i'm attending courses in uni, got to see other frens in uni.

tmr... wantED to go to the office to do some computer work, but now... seems very unlikely that i'll wake up early for that. might not even go to vic mart in the morning coz it's 2am now and i want to sleep in tmr morning.
1230 meeting till dunno wat time,
6pm fren's bday-potluck

sunday, fren's farewell-karaoke!! :P

dunno if this is true

Congratulations, SC!
Your IQ score is 131

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Happy Chinese New Year!!

My first CNY not celebrated at home with my family :(
went to uncle's house on sat afternoon. 44 mins train ride, didn't realise it's that long when i'm on the train, with my mp3 player :)
as soon as i stepped into their house, saw those CNY decorations and home-made CNY biscuits and butter cake, made me feel like.... it IS CNY! had dinner before 6pm. uncle and aunt are good cook. we had 7 dishes. all very yummy! and lychee jelly for dessert.
watched dvd at night, talked to 外婆 on the phone when uncle called back to Penang. She was so happy to hear my voice during CNY. I miss home! I miss 外婆! miss playing mahjong with her and my aunts. miss those CNY biscuits! miss sending and receiving cny sms from frens together with bro! miss watching CNY special tv programmes! miss watching fireworks from the balcony in Penang! :(
i didn't feel this bad before, i thought... not home for CNY only mar... i'm not the only one here, most of my frens doing hons are in melb also, so no big deal. But now, i really miss celebrating CNY in Penang with my family and all my relatives.
Really hope that next yr i'll be home for CNY.

came back to city on sunday late afternoon. went for CNY dinner with frens, 3 of us 4 dishes. and we managed to finish everything!! impressive! :D

back to work today (can't say i'm studying coz i feel more like i'm working now altho i still hv some lectures to go to), how sad... 2nd day of CNY, usually i'm still holiday-ing in Penang.

after having lunch in the cafeteria in RCH, took lift back up to 10th floor, i nearly lose my hand coz of the stupid crappy lift!!! i was holding my lunch box with my left hand when i was trying to hold the lift opened for ppl and prams to come out of the lift, then the lift closed and my left hand was caught at the lift door while i'm outside the lift! luckily ppl outside the lift managed to open the door for me. my fingers went numb for a few minutes, my thumb still feel a little wierd when i pressed a little harder on it.
i was so scared and nearly cried out after i went back to the office, thinking wat would hv happened if the door didn't open, and wat would hv happened if the lift just move to the next level when my hand was still there!!
on my way home, on the tram, i started to think abt it again... wat can i do if i lose my hand, can i still type on the computer? can i still play piano? can i still do my honours? can i still do lab work? if not, then wat can i do?!! OMG!! that is so scary!!! >.< (i even told myself tht i can still be APM for the production -_-||)

Music and Lyrics

I really like that song 'Way back into love' in the movie!!
and 'dont write me off' by Huge Grant
din't know Huge Grant can sing! and he plays piano too in the movie (dunno if it's the real thing tho).

http://musicandlyrics-soundtrack.com/

Happy Valentine's Day!

i'm quite happy today, for the second half of my day to be precise.
not becoz someone gave me flowers today, not becoz someone date me today,
but i gave myself a 'little treat' at McD at RCH for dinner :) altho i had it alone, read a paper while eating near the glass wall, but i feel happy and satisfying.
saw other kids hving McD with their parents or parent, feel happy for them :) Maccas just make everyone happy, including me :)

before i left to the tram stop (dun want to validate tram tix before 6 :P), went to the little machines outside the gift shop where you can 'turn for an egg'. and the eggs hv those little toys or thingy that u can hang on ur hp or watever. and i saw this giant egg with giant pooh in it! it's like the little pooh i have, i had them on my hp last yr for a few months, but this one is huge! like 5 times bigger!! :D so i thought... ok.. see if i hv a $2 coin... then yes i do! i was so excited!! and yup... i got myself a little present - a pooh inside a penguin costume :P
then happily, i went to the tram stop, and it was 5.59pm when i sat down in the tram, waited for 1 min, validated my tram tix at 6.00pm :D

watched Music & Lyrics with a girl fren at 6.30. it was quite a big cinema, and of course many couples went for that movie. this is the first day for the movie in the cinema. the movie was simple but nice. and i like the song! :D

it's 10pm... wish i can just jump into my bed now.
but nope... hv to do some hw before i sleep :(

Happy Valentine's Day!

hate to be paranoid, and always worry abt wat ppl think abt myself.
it happened again today, couldn't recall when was the previous one.
i know i cant always make everyone happy, can't always make sure i'm perfect in everybody's eyes. but i really dun want them to hv bad impression of me when i really dont mean it. :(

这几天，
心情很烂...

周杰倫-退后 MV

Free Hugs Campaign. Inspiring Story! (music by sick puppies)

16th GMA Jay YuHao piano duet

First week of Honours yr

hvn't done any lab work except calibrating my 3 pipettes.
spent most of my time reading published scientific papers, attended 2 2-hour lectures, 1 short induction lecture, and went to my first seminar (first in hons year) on Friday 830am!
was worried if i'm the only ppl from my lab goin to that seminar. But actually most of the ppl went, except 3 of them. very happy abt that coz like... feel like i'm part of the family, we go to seminar together. know wat i mean? :D
and also we (except my 'boss', who's our group head) had lunch together everyday (except one day when i had to go to uni to settle my fees), had morning tea, afternoon tea together. really feel that we're in a team.

i think next week will be the real start of the hard work....
let the adventure begins!!

1st day of honours life

started at 9am
met supervisor, and other ppl in the lab. they are all very nice and friendly :) erm... 1 PhD student, 2 RAs (research assistants), 3 RAs (i think they are called RA) at diagnostic lab, 1 postdoc (my co-supervisor who's currently on leave till next monday)
got my own desk in the office area, although it's not a 'leng' spot coz my back is facing the door of the office. but... well, i'm thinking that i'll spend most of my time in the lab, so nvm lor.
supervisor brought me to the lab, showed me my spot in the lab :) yay! i hv my own spot in the lab! the lab is quite spacious. on the 10th floor! good view! can see the 'Balti' Bridge. :D
a bit disappointed coz i dont hv my own comp. i'll hv to share with other ppl in the office (most of them are sharing one comp among the 2 of them) or in the lab (there're 2 comps there).
started reading piles of papers at 930am.
went for lab safety induction session at 10am, happily met 3 other ppl i know who are doin hons there. before this, I thought Li Jeen is the only person i'll know there. took photos for our ID badge (ready to pick up from the HR officer tmr morning).
then went back to lab, Simone brought me around for a tour.
then went lunch with the lab ppl. this really makes me happy coz when i did summer studentship, i usually go lunch alone, or with another summer student before he finished his summer studentship 2 weeks earlier than mine. so.. yay! i hv ppl to go lunch with this time. :D
then went back office, read again... left for home at 5.40pm. i know it's only the first day... but... want to finish taht ppr before i leave mar.

so... yea.. tmr hv to be there at 8.30 for course introduction session >.<
then 9am - 11am lecture, our first lecture! imagine a lecture with only 9 students?! haha! more like a tute
i'm goin to bring lunch tmr :D
gtg sleep looo....

sien

aih... monday start honours liao
so not ready for it yet. just started to read through some basic stuff abt my project few days ago. i just finished reading my research plan.
hv been doin nothing today. felt so wasted! i wanted to play hard, enjoy hard my this last weekend before hons starts. but it turned out to be.... a CTG meeting in the afternoon, then at home whole day watching some taiwanese drama series, then reading at nite. how boring is that!!!

but then, tmr will be out with a fren :) hvn't catch up with her since she came back from KL.

last day of summer studentship

it was my last day of summer studentship at PeterMac today
15 of us went out for lunch together, coz it's my last day. aww... feel so special abt myself :)
we went to Kimchi Grandma at 1pm. everyone was hungry but we still hv to wait for quite awhile until our food comes.

before i left for home at 5pm, went around to the fly labs and the other 'neighbouring' lab to say bye to them. although it's only 6 weeks there, and i didn't really know them well, but still felt a bit 不舍得 when i had to say bye and all the best to them. dont know when will see them again, or mayb i'll never see them anymore in my entire life?!
and in the morning, when i was turning my flies, i was saying 'be good k!' to the flies deep in my heart. and Louis was telling me during lunch that i'll miss the flies. and yea.. i guess so. i missed them already. >.<

two more days before honours starts on monday!!
ppl was asking me whether i'm feeling excited to finish my summer studentship. well, i am happy that i finished that, but on the other hand, i'm worried, nervous, with a little excited abt the honours project. it'll be another start of a new chapter for my 'uni life' (since i wont be in uni as much for classes or watever, can't be saying that it's a uni life, it's more like working life).

really want to spend my weekend well. but dunno how... hmm....
stay at home watching drama series? wat a waste!
but this weekend will be really hot out there! where can i go?