我忍!
我不知道，不要管!
whatever!

-----------------------

不要来跟我讲找不到我，
因为你们根本没有在找。

其实我也没有很屑

已经学着把很多事情都看轻了
因为学会了
人家根本不是用心想做
我又何必那么认真


可是恐怖的是，
我竟然能够说服了自己，
剩下一只眼睛，我还是可以活下去
我什么时候变得这么乐观？！
莫名其妙！！

夜深了

想多了

想惯了
做够了
盼过了

听烦了
烦厌了
忍久了

苯极了

等腻了
猜傻了
心麻了

我累了

hmm... should i take up swimming lessons?

wei... those ppl who are reading, please say something leh!!!!
feel so stupid talking here to myself :S

yes, eventhough noone's reading this, i still want to blog. coz the more i think the more i'm pissed...

how can a person in the room not knowing the other person is doing the vacuum in the living room and the bathroom??!! the bathroom is right outside of her room!!!!!
i don't think my vacuum cleaner is that quiet lor
unless she's on her earphones in the room?!
shit, why do i bother finding explanation for her?!

when she just moved in, we both agreed to share the housework, which only include vacuuming the living area, kitchen and bathroom, plus washing toilet bowl and tidy the sink area in the bathroom. once every week, take turns
this was a year ago! yes!! one year already!!!! all went well
but recently, i notice there are more and more things that i have to put up with.
few weeks ago, she's suppose to do the cleaning, we usualy do it on the weekend, if busy weekend, monday or tuesday sometimes.
but that weekend, she postponed till the following thursday which is her off day (her off day is not on a fixed day every week).
ok fine, i wasn't upset or anything. so the following week is my turn, insteaed of doing it on the weekend which is just 2 3 days after she did the cleaning, i did it on the following wednesday to spread it out a bit.
that wednesday, i did it after i came back from work, and she was in her room. i actually did that purposely so to lt her know that i already done mine that week.
but i was wrong, she didn't know it's her turn the following week.
i'm hoping for too much or she's just dumb?!

so 1.5 weeks (since it was wednesday the last time) had gone, yday i asked her if she cleaned last weekend and she said she thought it's her turn this week. (that's how i find out she didn't know abt what i did 1.5weeks ago)
ok, then you just do urs this week lor.
but she told me, if she's not too tired tmr when she comes back from work, she'll do it, tmr = monday. if not, she'll do it on her off day, which is on thursday.
wth... you can spend the entire weekend at ur bf's place (whatever she has to do lar), but you can't do the cleaning?! i already cannot tahan the bathroom floor and the toilet bowl and the sink. for sure u're ok with it coz ure not at home mar?! or u're used to this at home?!
for me, even if i had to do it after work, i'll still do it no matter how hungry i was how tired i was.
so i said i'll swap with her, i'll do it tmr = monday.
and i am so going to do this at night when she's at home
oh and another thing i just realised.... she cannot tell that did the cleaning when the bathroom floor doesnt have a single hair?!
arghhhhhh is that real dumb or not observant?!

i can imagine ppl living in rented property/hostel,
someone like her
doesn't care abt the place you live in,
none of her business

i'm not a fussy person in terms of cleanliness, coz i only see what i can see in front of me, the obvious ones.

why do i always have problem with my housemates?!
this one is worse, after 10 months only problemssss started appearing
and because our mums are good friends, i really dont' want to make things look bad

i wasn't angry abt her not noticing my vacuum sound
but her lack of responsiblity
or i should say her tolerance to the 'dirtiness' is better thn mine?!
so it's all my fault lar

that is just one of the issues i have,
i shall stop here...
won't let her spoil my last day of easter long weekend
wth!

世上只有爸妈好

was telling my mum on msn abt my wisdom teeth story
she ended up calling me,
saying i should go back for the surgery, so that ‘爸爸妈妈可以煮好料给你吃’when i can't hv solid food for few days after the surgery
听到这个，我就哭了... T_T

bro said he'll ask around his friends about how ppl deal with wisdom teeth in msia, coz he seldom heard ppl surgically remove theirs in kl
一讲完，他就po 在他的facebook status 了
aww.... :')

dad said i could have gone back for the 4 days easter break
he said that too for the labour day long weekend
sigh...

looking at friend's photos on facebook,
she's gone back to KL after her studies in melbourne
seen photos of her with her family and highschool classmates

will i be happier if i'm home?
yes and no

yes -> when i'm bored, on public holidays when i hv no plans for
no -> don't know what i'll be happy to do, to earn for a living :S

_____________________________

was QUEUEING up at the tix machine to buy movie tix
left a gap between me and the person in front who was using the machine (i respect ppl's personal space, i don't like to stand too close to ppl in a queue)
a couple (an asian girl with a cauacasian guy) came and slipped into the gap right in front of me
was so @#$!@#!$% at that point, staring at them from their backs while trying hard to think of something polite to say to them
after abt 40secs? the guy suddenly turned back to me and seemed to realise my existence and then he asked and i said yes and he apologised, and they went to another queue

so, if from the beginning he didn't realise i was there, he wouldn't have asked if i was queueing first before him right? he would have just stood there, even if he sees me when he turned around, and won't ask me that question right?
therefore he was actually WAITINGfor me to say something?

>.<

so next time what should i say to ppl like this who cut my queue??? in a polite way

连拔智慧牙（全身麻醉然后一次过四颗拿掉），
医生说，'get someone to come with you'
>.<
...
是怕万一醒不来，
还是怕麻醉药没完全退就要‘送客’了

又是一个无聊的周日
要是有labwork, 我一定又跑去当一天的免费劳工。
所以今天就被逼乖乖地在家呆了一天
不想出去逛，因为city已经被我在前几天都cover了七七八八，没什么想看的了，也不想让自己又有机会花钱 :$

最近喜欢去 无名小站 看别人的blog,尤其是艺人的blog

我一向不太去看星座的东西，因为我认为怎么可能把复杂的人类轻易地归类成12种呢？
但今天我google了‘星座’first hit 进去再继续link, 看到了：

成也魔羯败也魔羯(图)http://www.sina.com.cn

2010年02月05日 14:17 新浪星座

...魔羯真是一个十分敏感的星座，他能够通过一件小事看透一个人，也十分了解什么是好的，什么是适合社会的，同时，魔羯又是一个极其爱自我怀疑的星座，他清楚自己的阴暗气质，所以往往不敢完全肯定自己的分析。所以，魔羯其实很容易上当受骗，也很容易受伤害。可是，另一方面，因为他们天生的敏感，也很容易察觉到自己被骗了，这时他们极端的性格再次发挥作用：当他们看到别人表现出好的一面时，对别人的信任是绝对的，不参杂的；而当他们发现，即使是一件为不足道的小事上的欺骗，他们就绝不会再信任了。
... 和魔羯接触过的人都会认为他们脾气很好 (i don't think so)，好的似乎发傻。其实他们并不是脾气好，只是他们很会装，他们了解身边的朋友的性格，所以他们在包容对方，就算你做了什么过分的事，他们也早就想好对方为什么会这样做。
　　最明显一点，你们可以去看看身边魔羯的朋友，无论你怎么做做什么，魔羯都不会很惊讶的，其实他们已经知道你为什么会这样了。
　　魔羯的人都很没有安全感，他们喜欢在别人面前装傻。
　　他们有装傻的天赋，他们认为只有傻子才会不牵扯到任何伤害，与其做一个聪明的人，不如当一个傻子平凡而又随意。
...魔羯很珍惜朋友，他们最希望获得朋友的信任，如果从一个朋友那里得不到信任，他不会再与这个朋友交往下去。
...魔羯非常重视人与人之间的规则，就是所谓的君子可以欺之以方。一旦魔羯发现大家都不遵守规则，只是拿规则来限制自己的时候，经过内心痛苦挣扎之后，魔羯就会将所有感情和软弱一脚踹开。当初他有多大的克制力让自己遵守规则，那么现在的魔羯就有多强的铁腕来自己制定规则。
... 魔羯像狼，独断、机警、诡诈、阴险、执着、冷傲，无一不在魔羯身上体现。
爱情方面魔羯很少会主动。
　　更惨的是，能让他们爱上的人也可能是百年难得一遇……结果就是……也许会孤独终老。(>.<)
　　不是物质，不是实际。爱情婚姻上，是对自己和对方的要求很高，精神层面尤甚。宁缺勿滥。(absolutely spot on)
　　如果他爱你，你就什么都不用做，因为他都会帮你做；如果他不爱你，你也什么都不用做，因为做了也没用。
　　不容易投入一份感情，一旦投入了就是全身心的。

好无奈哦！

为什么一个人去电影院看戏感觉会怪怪的？
没有人规定去电影院一定要多过一个人去，可是我还是过不了自己那关。:S
三/四年前我一个人去看了DaVinciCode，在快要下画的时候去的，那时候的那个session没有多过二十位观众吧，我坐在最后一排中间的位子，和我同一排的，还有另一位中年妇女，还带了自己的被单。也不记得当时自己去看的感觉是怎样的了。
可是我还是做不到第二次。
因为朋友的兴趣不同，时间难乔，比较难找人一起看戏了 :(

so happen to walk into a shop just now, and bought myself two pieces of clothings, at a total of $64.90
but i can't get myself to pay $75 for a key pouch which i've been eyeing at for almost 4 months, excluding the internet browsing!!! :S

and, a key pouch will probably last me longer than those 2 clothes. plus i use the key pouch every single day whereas i don't wear those 2 clothings everyday :S

mayb because the key pouch is from a brand of one of the 'luxurious goods', well, semi-luxurious lar, which made me think it's un-neccessary?

this key pouch, is one of the 'irrational things to do and will make me happy' from the previous post i wrote here.

hmm.... perhaps it's not too late for a belated bday present for myself ;)

小S 把演艺圈的八卦`秘密和大S分享,
那，我可以把朋友的八卦`秘密和谁分享呢？？

我忍。。。 >.< .

我是看《芝麻街》长大的 :)

无端端

突然发现，从下个月到八月份，每个月都有一个值得我期待的事情 :)

四月份
林俊杰演唱会
yes! bought tix!!! and very happy with the seats we've got :)
and on the day i planned to get tix from the official ticketing place, my colleague fwd me an email, monash chinese student society selling those tix at $10 cheaper, more than 5 tix bought can get a free AUTOGRAPHED CD.
so i called the person and so happen that she's in the city that day. so i got the tix and the cd and a poster from her that same day after work.
eventhough there are a few dodgy-ness about the cd, but i'm just going to ignore that and believe it's a genuine one. lol.



checked the seating plan, those seat numbers look right to me :$

五月份
FAME the musical with my colleagues :)
Simone started organising this few weeks ago. eventhough this musical is not on my priority list this year, since it's a musical and Fame is a classic(?) so, wouldn't mind going at all

六月份
brisbane to visit my famiy :)
haven't told my supervisor about taking a week off for this, but i'm sure he'll be fine with that. he never turn down any of my leave so far, all he said last time was, i'm entitled to have 20days off a year.

七月份
Marry Poppins the musical!
this is on my priority list. bought tix in jan
looking fwd to this since last year :$ so it better be good! haha

八月份
SinYee my best friend in highschool is coming to melb for a holiday
will be staying with me for a few days, all weekdays tho :S
told her to have at least a weekend in melb but well, either she forgot or can't get the tix. but then she's going to syd after melb on a weekend.
o well... will see what i can do.



those are my 'highlight of the month' up till august.
i want more :)

加油!

usualy when i listen to a song, i will only remember the melody, but don't even listen to the lyrics. so usually the first time i see the lyrics is from the ktv version.

since 无端端 got this 林俊杰 - 100天 CD for free (wil explain how later), i picked up the booklet and hv a close look at the lyrics while listening to the song.
I like this one:

<加油!>
最近你好吗 少了一点微笑
说的话有点少 最近我也不好
全世界都在逆转
人开始反向思考

发现你爱的人到处跑
昨晚刚升职 今天被炒
莫名其妙 谁会知道
是不是上天开的玩笑
地震时 你想和谁拥抱
什么是生命中的美好
轻易放掉 却不知道
幸福就在下一个转角
说一声加油 一切更美好
所有的悲伤 请往边靠
曾经流过的泪 湿了伤口就让
阳光晒干而褪
这一种加油 人人都需要
手牵手我们一起赛跑
说好不见不散 每分每秒守候你到老

The beat goes on 时间它一直走
就像是 Life goes on 这过程或许痛
不管顺流或逆流 你总得抬起头
让我们一起走 走过艰难和困惑

关关是难关 但我们关关过
雨后天晴的阳光在天空闪闪
所出现了彩虹 忽然间我们才懂
如果这是一场马拉松 那我们一起加油

i want to do something irrational but will make me happy >.<

eg ...

fly to somewhere for a weekend, or

buy something i like but is unnecessary

complaining again

basically i hang out most with 3 groups of friends...

group A,
80% of our outings/gatherings were initiated and organised by me. and a pesky scientist like me are now doing a little experiment, i'm not going to initiate any gathering from now on, no matter how much i miss them or how bored i am :S
but i can't say that they don't care about me or us each other. coz, we go to each others' graduation, most of them remember my bday, we can talk about almost everything, they all showed effort (to come) when i organised bday gatherings, and they did think of me when they have some free tix :(

group B,
so far we're doing quite well, one gathering every month, everyone took turns to organise. except that this year's cny, i waited (on purpose) to see if anyone is organising the cny dinner/lunch/watever, until it was abt 5 days before cny and i couldn't tahan anymore and end up organising a dinner with them. :(

group C,
half of the ppl in this group do organise meet-ups and gatherings, whereas the other half never. :S
feel bit weird with that other half of this group. we do ask them out together but why they never do it the other way round? coz they know the other half will? or they just don't bother to?


everyone has a different role among their friends.
but i'm tired of being the active one, until i started to think whether they actually care abt each other.
okok, i'm sure they care, mayb they're just busy and have other friends around who don't complain like i do.
too bad... new friends are hard to find nowadays :S

好一句‘家里没教’！
帮我息了不少怒，就除了那些‘我家也没教’的 :S

——————————————————————————

要是我的英文也可以像我的‘台湾华语’这样进步就好了
should watch more tv then :P

sigh...
80% not gg to an international conference this year. :(
just had my end of 2nd year review meeting with my supervisors.
my supervisor said it's better for me to go to one early or mid next yr instead of the one i wanted to go to this year.
reasons are very understandable and reasonable.
i completely understand how is it like going to a conference with a poster without a conclusion. have been to 3 national conferences so far and all of my 3 posters are very similar and miserable.
unless miracle happens, it's unlikely that i'll have a good abstract to be submitted in june for the nov conference :(
sien...

first there's the ESHG conference in june, then this ASHG in nov. all disappointments :S
or should i be optimistic and keep my fingers crossed that the miracle will happen before june?!

looking at the timeline of my phd progress,
i should start intensive writing of my thesis around this time next year,
and submit it before sept next year.
sounds very scary!! it's going to happen so so soon
because nowadays uni is more strict with phd students applying for 2nd extension, i should aim to hand in by the end of my 3.5 years
which is good in a way coz i just CAN'T WAIT to graduate!!
but on the other hand, going out to the world on my own as a postdoc just sound so scary. the title of being a Postdoc is just too big too heavy.
still can't imagine myself as a postdoc in a lab.

_____________________________

i'm tired of myself being paranoid and pessimistic most of the time
and i'm also annoyed by ppl around me who are not mindful abt what's happening around them or even in front of them!
especialy when that affects my convinience. >.<

_____________________________

for the past 2 - 3 weeks, i've been to a doctor (in order to get referred to), an eye specialist, a dental appointment and nearly to a dermatologist
>.<
cut the long story short,
my eyes are fine, well apparently the problem i'm having is normal for highly myopic ppl like me but not most others :S
but the feeling that something really bad is happening to my eyes that i could lose my eyesight was really really really bad. that was before i went to see the eye specialist. He was very optimistic and said there's nothing i can do, if it's going to happen, it will happen. so just enjoy life.

and i'm not finished with my dental 'adventure' yet
but i can still afford to put it aside for the moment, due to financial reason.

____________________________

ok... i feel a little bit better now
time for dinner... indomee.

yesterday (sunday),
went to lab in the morning, for abt 1.5 hours.
then it was one something pm i think,
went to vicmart, wanted to hv some spanish doughnuts coz i hdn't had lunch and need some sugar, so decided to get 3 before i even reach the stall.
at the doughnut stall, the guy was telling the lady in front of me she has to wait for a little while for her 7 (or 9? can't rmb) doughnuts to be ready.
then he told me to wait for 1 minute (yes he said 'one minute') straight away.
so i took out my $3 coins, waited...
10 secs later, a guy came, he got asked how many he wants, he said 2.
and so he got 2 doughnuts plus 1 for free!
the point is not that he got a free doughnut,
but there were at least 3 doughnuts sitting there but the guy didn't even ask how many i want.
so i just bushuang
walked away after thinking bushuang-ly for like 3 secs whether i should wait

went to have chocolate ice cream instead eventhough i shoudln't :S


so, am i immature, impatient, or what?!

Feel like learning ice-skating :P
anyone?

There's a new ice skating rink, Icehouse just opened few weeks ago, at Docklands