too much to write
too much to think
too much to do
too much to settle
too much to worry

I'm not a good 'boss'
i dunno how to communicate properly with other ppl in the hierarchy.
i dunno how to persuade ppl to follow my way.
i dunno how to make decision, think properly when i'm in front of a 'mess'.
i'm easily moved by other ppl's words.

and i care wat ppl think abt me!

Finally...

Finally i can sleep in today! and maybe tmr and Monday! :D
miss those uni days when u can just sleep at 3am and wake up after 12pm during holidays or weekends. Now, i'm very aware of public holidays (coz those are my only hols).

Haven't been blogging for quite some time now.
My exam, my last exam ever, just finished on Monday.
Had a crazy weekend before that Monday. So if i really end up with shitty results, i can only blame myself :S
It's time to start my new task - literature review which is due end of this month

Yday, I received easter eggs from frens and colleagues for the first time in my life!! hahaha!
LiJeen (a biomed fren doin honours in MCRI) gave me the biggest one with a little ribbon tied around in and a little note attached;
a sales rep gave everyone one little egg (hazelnut filled, and some crunchy bits too);
Alycia (another biomed fren doin honours in MCRI) gave me 3 little eggs (I gave one of them to Canny after i tried one out and it's really nice :P);
Erin (the motherly research assistant in the diagnostic lab of our group) gave each of us 3 sugar coated ones and 2 other paper wrapped ones).


Had a good gathering with old Trinity frens last night. Ezien came to Melb from HK before flying off to Syd for her training. So Fendy and Eway etc organized this dinner gathering at Manchester Lane. Good food (i wasn't there for the food but heard it's good), good music, good company :) I guess this is the best gathering we ever have since our second yr of uni (my housewarming party was quite a good one in yr 1 yea?), as in the few who dont usually turn up, came last nite.

ok.. grumble time...

I've reached my lowest body weight in these 4+ years since i came to Melb (well, i seldom weigh myself before that). Then just few days ago, had a diarrhea. Issit just stress or no proper eating habits?

and this production really made me change my thoughts abt some ppl... most of them are disappointments. How can the relationship between ppl change so quickly? well, months? years?

and i'm tired of explaining to ppl (uni students) that i'm doing honours now, wat i do in honours, how's my 'working hours' like, i dont follow uni holidays etc...
and i'll be 'off' when ppl seem to think that my honours life is an easy year etc...

I want a holiday! I need a holiday! even just a weekend away from the Melbourne city.
sometimes when i'm doing my work, i'll daydream abt holiday-ing in Syd and NZ. really miss my holiday in NZ last year with my parents and bro. :(

and i need to start doing something for my PR application. heard that they'll change the rules in a few months time. :(
will be taking my IELTS test the day after bump-out! :S 8.30am exam!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

common sense is actually not common

why are there ppl who have no common sense?!
eg be late for 30 mins, hving the whole group of 15-20 ppl waiting for her? and hv no good reason for being late
eg why some ppl dont clean up the mess after they use the kitchen/tea room?

all these ppl are not small kids! they are all uni students or those who are already working and are at least graduated from uni.

busy week

things seem to turn better since tuesday. i'd been very frustrated and stressed up lately.
firstly, DNA extraction seemed to work (and yea.. it works and i just sent it for genotyping today). been unsuccessful in extracting DNA for the past attempts. after work, rush down to city (before the shops close) to buy graduation present for a fren (yes... that's U!!), then went all the way back to garage to sort out costumes for wed's fulldress rehearsal. so ... relieved that things seemed to be more organised.

then, on Wed morning i took the 8.04am tram no.55 and there were a few tram inspectors in plain clothes on the tram. luckily i validated my tix. coz i (used to) hv this 'theory' that tram no.55 doesn't hv inspectors checking our tix. and i did this little experiment, validating my tix every trip since feb till early march and never hv my tix checked so since early march, i sometimes didn't validate my tram tix. so my theory was proven wrong. :P
Wed evening was a bit of chaos. first, my first gel (to confirm the quality of the DNA extracted) in the morning wasn't good. then when i re-run the same sample, same amount on a fresh gel, it turned out well. but it was too late to send it over for genotyping on that evening (hv to do it before 5pm), so my plan to be at uni at 5pm was ruined.
so i was late for fulldress rehearsal which i'm suppose to be there by 530.
after rushing to union hs to take pics with 3 frens who graduated on that day, went to ict for the rehearsal. but i couldn't find them coz they changed the venue (still in ict.. but dunno where in ict). and no one answered my phone! then i decided to look around myself and found them upstairs. :S
then today, brought the sample to AGRF (australian genome research facility) which is situated at WEHI and so i'm free pretty much from 4.15pm. so happy that i finish early! but... nothing to do, nowhere to go coz the weather is super hot! and imagine i walked all the way from RCH!
waited at Sidney Myer centre (found that the air conditioning there is the best) until 5.45pm for production meeting at UH.

so tmr is night market! CTG is hving a short sketch from 7.40pm at concrete lawn.
am looking fwd to it but on the other hand, hoping that everything goes smoothly.

sat... planning to go to office do my bioinformatics stuff. yea.. only one comp in the office has the programs i need but usually that comp is occupied during normal hours. and good that my supervisor postponed my weekly meeting with him from Fri to next monday. so i still hv time to do it and hopefully get some results for him on monday (this is also one of the 'things that turned better this week' :)).
then 5.30pm dinner then 7pm FINA! :D hv been looking fwd to FINA since i bought the tix end of last year. but the heat seems to go down since few weeks ago. We're watching synchronised swimming, team final.

ok lar.. i should study now... since i hv the mood to study tonite.
yea... need to hv the right mood to study. :P

i'm so sorry

yday, found out that i had a really really stupid mistake.
but i couldn't recall that i actually did that.
but other than me, i couldn't think of anyone else who could have done that.
it's a mistake that cannot be corrected ever.
i didn't apologize yet, hoping tht noone will ever realise it, noone will ever bring it up until they've forgotten who i am. and also even if i do apologize, i wont be forgiven, and then more and more ppl will know abt it, and they will remember it for a few years at least.
i really do feel sorry about wat i've done.

Labour Day

it was Labour Day today for Victoria. dont hv to work today, but i went back to change do some media change for the cells in the morning.
boba pearl at lygon was closed down!! :( i love the bubble tea there very much! especially their pearls, the best in melbourne!! sigh... now i can only hv ezyway's.

why do i always care abt wat ppl will think abt me?!!
eg today, din get to say 'thank you' to a fren in the afternoon and i'm still thinking abt that now!
there are many times when my brain just got blank suddenly, couldn't remember wat was i suppose to be doing at that moment. sometimes i'll recall it after a few seconds, sometimes i just couldn't remember and then it came back into my mind after awhile. not to say my short term memory that i've always hv, especially on stuff that i'd learned in lectures, things that i've studied for exam.
how can i get things staying in my mind permanently??!!

few days ago, a guy fren said to me that girls are troublesome becoz they are sensitive, explode out of the sudden, emotional etc. i totally agree tht girls are much sensitive than guys are (well, most guys). that's the reason why guys might think that girls are too emotional and will explode easily. guys din know wat girls hv been feeling or thinking until they show out by being emotional or some unexpected reactions. other girls might not think that's emotional or unexpected coz they 'follow' wat's goin on since the beginning.

sometimes, i thought that mayb being less sensitive (especially towards guys) aren't a bad thing after all. coz while u're guessing wat's happening, wat does that mean from that person etc, it actually mean nothing at all.

i'm getting tired of doing things that other ppl should share the responsibility of. just dont understand why she is not aware of wat i've been doing all the while. should i say tht coz she's inconsiderate or i'm being too considerate? or becoz i always act faster than her so there's not a 'chance' for her to do it?

i wish that i'm just a kid...

felt betrayed
am tired

i'm blogging from my office.
was looking at my monthly calender... 3 weeks to the 20%worth 3-hour exam... i really need to study more now. managed to finish 3/4 of lecture 1 during the last weekend. 9 lectures altogether so far. will have 16 in total by the end of this month, and have 4 days after the last lecture before the exam on 2nd April.

will go for moomba festival's fireworks on sat night. :D
that is one of my highlights for the year.
Monday is Labour Day, it's a holiday for me. But i MIGHT still come to the lab to change media for my cells. well, my supervisor said it's ok to leave it till tuesday, but i dont want it to scramble up my tissue culture routine which happens mon, wed and fri every week. will see how...

不知不觉地，今天是元宵节了。
今年的农历新年对我来说真的很不像新年。完全没有过年的兴奋。

人与人之间的沟通真的很复杂，会有很多机会出现误会。今天，又‘揭发‘了一个小误会。

最近，没有什么特别/不平凡的事发生。好像没有什么好blog的。:P

week 4

time flies!! week 4 already! but i feel like i haven't done much yet for my honours project. :(
dunno if i've mentioned abt this before....
since honours started, i didn't have the feeling of 'looking fwd to weekend' during weekdays. i think it's a good sign which means i (quite) like my weekdays. :) or mayb just becoz weekends are not much different from weekdays? but of course, i'll feel happier on friday night. :D

went for the seminar on every wed today. i fell asleep half way through (as usual) until they showed us a very touching emotional video of a mother and her son with cerebral palsy at the end of the seminar. That video showed how the mother takes care of her disabled son, she mentioned that she lost her other son (the twin brother) and how she still missed him but have to be strong to take care of this son. ppl (not just me) in the theater got teary at the end of that video. there's no cure for that neurological disorder. it makes me think of a girl from my extended family who has Angelmann syndrome (if i'm not wrong). i only see her in Penang during CNY usually. i'm not close to her family. I only know that she's not down syndrome. but as i know more abt Angelmann syndrome, i think that's wat happening to her.
wat really made me feel sad for them is, how are these children going to survive when their parents aren't able to look after them anymore?
i see sick children and happy children everyday in the lift, at the corridor. i really feel how lucky i am to be able to grow and live healthy.
and also, i made a conclusion today after watching that video. that is, i can't be a doctor or even a physiotherapist or anything like that. coz i'm sure when i see those patients, i'll become emotional and stuff. (does that mean i can't be a genetic counselor as well?!)

week 3

been busy this week...
3 2hr-lectures, a library tute (learned how to search papers on database), a bioinformatics tute (learned how to do my assignment 2), a bit of lab work, started learning to do tissue culture (TC), gatherings, farewells.
went to the lab just before 8am on thurs to finish up some sequencing prep before going to 9am lec. that was my first time in the lab that early in the morning when noone else from my lab was around. that was also my first time i did lab work without my supervisor's supervision :P was a bit worried when noone turned up at 9am coz i need to go to lecture. 5 mins past 9, Canny (the PhD student in the lab) came in (finally). she showed me the last step of the procedure and then off I go to lecture. those sequence had been back, will analyze them on monday with my supervisor at my side. :)
started learning to do TC. i hv a flask of cells to look after. hv to make sure the cells are dividing and growing happily, free from contamination.
other than that, been doing lots of data analysis on the computer this week when i'm not in the lab.
we all went for a farewell lunch on thurs. one of the postdocs are leaving at the end of this week. it's always nice to hv everyone from the group/lab goin to tea breaks, lunch, seminars, or meetings together. but yea.. this is a farewell lunch tho. means we'll hv one less ppl for those 'group activities' from next week. :( although i dunno him long, i only join the lab for 3 weeks so far, but he thought me a few tips and he's a really nice person. quite sad to see him go.

today, did TC work at 8.30am before goin to the animal welfare training at 930 in uni.
the training (are basically lecture series from 930am till 3pm) is like a small gathering for most honours students. i met a few familiar faces from biomed in the lectures. my supervisor and an RA went to the training too. so 3 of us sat together, i feel like my 'dad'(my supervisor lar) came to lecture with us too. :D
i've been looking fwd to this training thingy eventhough the things i learned are probably not applicable to me this year (since i'm not doin anything on animals in my hons proj), but the fact that i'm attending courses in uni, got to see other frens in uni.

tmr... wantED to go to the office to do some computer work, but now... seems very unlikely that i'll wake up early for that. might not even go to vic mart in the morning coz it's 2am now and i want to sleep in tmr morning.
1230 meeting till dunno wat time,
6pm fren's bday-potluck

sunday, fren's farewell-karaoke!! :P

dunno if this is true

Congratulations, SC!
Your IQ score is 131

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Happy Chinese New Year!!

My first CNY not celebrated at home with my family :(
went to uncle's house on sat afternoon. 44 mins train ride, didn't realise it's that long when i'm on the train, with my mp3 player :)
as soon as i stepped into their house, saw those CNY decorations and home-made CNY biscuits and butter cake, made me feel like.... it IS CNY! had dinner before 6pm. uncle and aunt are good cook. we had 7 dishes. all very yummy! and lychee jelly for dessert.
watched dvd at night, talked to 外婆 on the phone when uncle called back to Penang. She was so happy to hear my voice during CNY. I miss home! I miss 外婆! miss playing mahjong with her and my aunts. miss those CNY biscuits! miss sending and receiving cny sms from frens together with bro! miss watching CNY special tv programmes! miss watching fireworks from the balcony in Penang! :(
i didn't feel this bad before, i thought... not home for CNY only mar... i'm not the only one here, most of my frens doing hons are in melb also, so no big deal. But now, i really miss celebrating CNY in Penang with my family and all my relatives.
Really hope that next yr i'll be home for CNY.

came back to city on sunday late afternoon. went for CNY dinner with frens, 3 of us 4 dishes. and we managed to finish everything!! impressive! :D

back to work today (can't say i'm studying coz i feel more like i'm working now altho i still hv some lectures to go to), how sad... 2nd day of CNY, usually i'm still holiday-ing in Penang.

after having lunch in the cafeteria in RCH, took lift back up to 10th floor, i nearly lose my hand coz of the stupid crappy lift!!! i was holding my lunch box with my left hand when i was trying to hold the lift opened for ppl and prams to come out of the lift, then the lift closed and my left hand was caught at the lift door while i'm outside the lift! luckily ppl outside the lift managed to open the door for me. my fingers went numb for a few minutes, my thumb still feel a little wierd when i pressed a little harder on it.
i was so scared and nearly cried out after i went back to the office, thinking wat would hv happened if the door didn't open, and wat would hv happened if the lift just move to the next level when my hand was still there!!
on my way home, on the tram, i started to think abt it again... wat can i do if i lose my hand, can i still type on the computer? can i still play piano? can i still do my honours? can i still do lab work? if not, then wat can i do?!! OMG!! that is so scary!!! >.< (i even told myself tht i can still be APM for the production -_-||)

Music and Lyrics

I really like that song 'Way back into love' in the movie!!
and 'dont write me off' by Huge Grant
din't know Huge Grant can sing! and he plays piano too in the movie (dunno if it's the real thing tho).

http://musicandlyrics-soundtrack.com/

Happy Valentine's Day!

i'm quite happy today, for the second half of my day to be precise.
not becoz someone gave me flowers today, not becoz someone date me today,
but i gave myself a 'little treat' at McD at RCH for dinner :) altho i had it alone, read a paper while eating near the glass wall, but i feel happy and satisfying.
saw other kids hving McD with their parents or parent, feel happy for them :) Maccas just make everyone happy, including me :)

before i left to the tram stop (dun want to validate tram tix before 6 :P), went to the little machines outside the gift shop where you can 'turn for an egg'. and the eggs hv those little toys or thingy that u can hang on ur hp or watever. and i saw this giant egg with giant pooh in it! it's like the little pooh i have, i had them on my hp last yr for a few months, but this one is huge! like 5 times bigger!! :D so i thought... ok.. see if i hv a $2 coin... then yes i do! i was so excited!! and yup... i got myself a little present - a pooh inside a penguin costume :P
then happily, i went to the tram stop, and it was 5.59pm when i sat down in the tram, waited for 1 min, validated my tram tix at 6.00pm :D

watched Music & Lyrics with a girl fren at 6.30. it was quite a big cinema, and of course many couples went for that movie. this is the first day for the movie in the cinema. the movie was simple but nice. and i like the song! :D

it's 10pm... wish i can just jump into my bed now.
but nope... hv to do some hw before i sleep :(

Happy Valentine's Day!

hate to be paranoid, and always worry abt wat ppl think abt myself.
it happened again today, couldn't recall when was the previous one.
i know i cant always make everyone happy, can't always make sure i'm perfect in everybody's eyes. but i really dun want them to hv bad impression of me when i really dont mean it. :(

这几天，
心情很烂...

周杰倫-退后 MV

Free Hugs Campaign. Inspiring Story! (music by sick puppies)

16th GMA Jay YuHao piano duet