I'm lost!!!

Oh no!!!!
I'm LOST!!!
I'm lost in my own world!
I'm not as self-discipline that i were before.

I think it's because of the long 'swot vac' that i have before my first paper.

I SHOULD be studying!
But I can't concentrate, can't get into the 'mood' of studying!!
aih....

A walk through my mind...

Had to walk back home from Swanston st after the lunch because i missed the tram.
well, it was a good walk i should say...
been thinking abt something throughout the 20 mins walk.

it's abt me and myself...
我觉得我‘太过’知道自己要的是什么，知道自己要走的路是什么。
或许是太早做了决定，自己就不去尝试其他的东西。

比如说早在上大学前就想好，将来要读genetics，因为希望能'cure' genetics disease。
所以现在选明年的 stream 时都没有怎么‘需要’考虑其他的 options。或许应该说我的 2nd year subjects 也不允许我拿 6 out of 11 的选择。
这到底是好事还是不好呢？我到底有没有选错？

这只是其中一个例子。还有其他的事情也是如此。
到底‘太早’make up my mind 是好还是坏？

well, 如果 outcome turn out to be good, then 是好事。
但现在很多事我都还看不到结果的。
那种一直在想，一直在猜的感觉不好受啊！
甚至在还没看到结果之前就已经在开始后悔当初的果断。
唉...

很多事情都不在我们自己掌控的范围内，
很多时候都不知道明天会发生什么事情。
人每天都在变，思想也是如此。
所以我是不是应该给其他 options 一个机会？

当然，我还是相信有些事情，first instinct 是对的。

所以现在只能告诉自己，
当初做的决定是有原因的。
要相信自己的决定...

-last day of 2nd year-

Yesterday was my last day of uni.
Which means 'holiday' had started. but this holiday is for studying. :(
During the 2-hour break, few of us went to a lecture theatre which has a piano in it. hehe! that was the first time i played piano since i came over from KL in Feb this year! :)

6 of us went for a dinner, a end-of-2nd year + farewell to SC dinner. She's goin off for exchange in California next year first sem.

Dunno why... don't feel like talking throughout the dinner. Sorry... Can't help it... just don't know wat to say, a bit anti-social. but i still enjoy listening to ppl talking...

wat an sms!

wanna share this sms i recieved from an unknown person today.. haha!!

that person was saying that he/she has the post coital munchies and it's all 'my' fault! -_-"

then minutes later, another sms from that same person saying it was a wrong msg. -_-"

Help!!!

Everytime, after anything, big or small had happened to me, I'll keep thinking abt it until I hv someone to talk to abt wat had happened.

Just like today, went for an interview for the next year's CTG production. I kept thinking back what i've said in the 15 mins interview. until now!! that's almost 2 hours since it ended! Just can't get it off my brain!! and i can't focus on my pathology!!

well, i had a few interviews in my life, not that many, still 'countable'. haha! first, that's the interview for CTG in my first year, then the one for end of 1st year chem vacation research project,then another CTG interview in last sem, and then the part-time job at St Cinnamon. among all those, for the 1st 2 interviews and the one for St Cinnamon, I don't remember myself recalling and regretting abt wat i've said or wat i should have said during the interview.
How come? not that i don't want those position/ job i've in-ed for, not becoz i hv frens to talk to abt the interviews... mayb i'm still not mature enough to 'analyse' things?! hmm... dunno...

can't wait for the clock to strike 8pm! so that i can call someone to talk. haha!!

ARGH!!!

Have been working hard to keep up with my far behind lectures!! That's part of my study plan for the big exam...
Can't wait for the exam to finish!!

and I'm planning to go S'pore in Jan! Yay!!
I'm excited abt it.. haha!
To visit my high school frens and my aunt there. :)
My GRAND PLAN is... go New Year countdown with them, celebrate 2 21st b'days and a 20th b'day (did i miss out anyone?!)
That'll be fun fun fun!!!

Ok... that's just my PLAN... dunno if it works...

Alright, enough for that... need to head back to neuro now...
bla bla bla...

Moody...

A fren from my course had decided to withdraw from the course.
She's leaving next week and really hope that she'll be back in Melb uni next year again!
Will miss the time we spent eating nano-nano in lectures and library;
having lunch in union house;
and the smile on your face wherever you go...
Take good care of yourself in S'pore!! Don't let anyone worry abt you!

Grgh....

Sometimes (like now) just don't understand why some ppl like to make things complicated!!!!
When u can do it yourself, why asking someone else who has no idea wat's happening to do it?! Grgh....
You are just troubling other ppl!! >_<


Well, had my last test before the exam for this sem. It wasn't too bad i think, except some careless mistakes?!
Anyway, time to keep up with my readings and then final exam in Nov!!

Friday night!!

Woa!! the last friday night before uni starts again on monday!!
....so sad....

Felt a bit wasted that I din do anything interesting on this friday night, except watching a nice movie on tv, writing this blog, listening to online radio (and suppose to study).
Read the horoscope thingy on the web just now, it's kind of accurate coz it says that I feel like goin out and do something today ... blah blah blah... haha!
That's exactly how i feel when i was reading it!
And then called a fren and told her abt that, and she felt the same too! But too bad it's too late already... it's already 11 something when i called her. can't do anything much except if i really want to, can still catch a tram to her place and play the whole nite haha!!

Just got my exam timetable today... yup, it's the end-of-sem exam in Nov!!!
Quite happy with my timetable thou... 17 21 23, starts late and ends quite late as well. But i guess it's good coz i have more time to prepare. :)

Had a highschool reunion last night.
We went to a 四川 restaurant but i won't ever go back there again. The food there wasn't too impressive and guess wat we saw there?
A big white mouse in the ceiling!!!! Grosssss!!!
Luckily nothing unusual happen to me today. haha!

Sets & Backstage at PPD 

Sets & Backstage 

13th night

Ooh... production finished already.. :(
Everytime when ppl in the production just started to know each other better, that's the end of the production... aih...
No more production for this year lar. Time for study.
Involved in 3 production this year.. 3 different experience, 3 different groups of ppl, 3 different post-production syndrome...
To me, it's always fun to get involved in this kind of production in uni.
The sad thing is.. next year will be my last year, last chance to play and enjoy.

CTG 12th night ar!! 

LeeXin's roast chicken... really impressive =) 

Nichole's chicken lasagne!! It's really yumm! 

Dilemma...

Still thinking if I should apply for the UROP (Undergraduate Research Opportunity Program). I fail in my application during the last winter intake. So here comes the 2nd chance...
But... I'm not that enthusiastic as the last application.
Mayb coz my referee hasn't reply my email yet and got this error returned email when i emailed her home email address.
and also the closing date is next friday. I thought it closes after the break.
The questions that we need to mention/answer in our application letter are the exact ones for the winter application, which I don't know wat to write now! It's obvious that my previous answers are not good enough.

Well, it's really good if I'm accepted but i don't think i'm 'mentally' ready to work yet! As in, it's really like the real thing that i'll most propably be working after i graduate, except that this is still under lots of supervision.
And also, this thing will continue throughout the semester (at least the 1st sem i think), which means 8 hours per week of 'part-time job', usually during weekdays daytime. I don't really willing to loss those time for it.
As it's my final year next year, I hope to spend my time doin things that can only be done when i'm still an undergrad. haha!
I'll have plenty of time to work after i graduate!!

Uni life is short!! really short!
I totally agree with it now. time flies before you actually know wat u want to do during your uni years. aih...

and also, mayb that i've been looking forward to go back to m'sia for my 21st b'day and stuff, I don't really want to stay back during the summer hol.
hmm...

So... what should i do now?! apply or not apply??

Mid sem break loo!

Woohoo!! mid term break started lar!! :D

lots of things to do... college gathering, high school gathering, sleepovers, CTG production and also ... study!!
2 more mid sem tests first week after the break. :(
anyway, i'll play hard and study hard during the break lar.

first mission accomplished today: spring clean the apartment
2nd mission accomplished today: 'mid-autumn festival' potluck haha!

3rd mission for tmr: patho CAL and hopefully some patho post-lecture work

Holiday!!! but not yet...

hmm... 'page not found'... so had to type all this again...

well, in my holiday mood now.. haha!
just had my last mid sem test before the break.
it started at 5.15pm!!
and then Nichole, SheeChien and others went to Boxhill for steamboat as an end-of-exam-celebration!! but i had to go to rehearsal and had KFC. :(
nvm, i'm looking forward to the 'mooncake festival party' during the break. :)

after rounds of rehearsals, think that they don't need 'ke-le-fe' for the show anymore. :(
so so so sorry to those who bought tics for the show to watch me on stage (not many lar..haha) although it's just a small small 'kelefe'.

2 weeks of break... what can i do?
not that i hv nothing to do, mayb too much to do but don't know what I should do...
and the 2 weeks will be gone before i realise how should i use my holiday.
2 mid sem in the first week after the break... so what else can i do during the break?!

Wierd...

Have this wierd feeling today...

A friend told me that she decided to watch the show next week. But my first response was not what i expected. I didn't go 'yay!', but 'are you sure? really?'
Well honestly I really hope she's there for the show but I also hope that she's there becoz she wants to be there but not because I want her to.
hmm... hope i didn't sounding mean or what when persuading her to go watch the show.

Another fren, just couldn't make her to go watch the show.
She's just... haha!
I decided to give up now!
And the wierd thing is, I'm not disappointed that she's not goin. why? dunno? haha!

Well i guess that's because i treat different friends differently. anyway, who doesn't?!

Aih...


one more mid sem test to go before the break!!!
Had my first test for the semester today. It's a 20% test for Pathology! only 39 MCQs so that's more than 0.5% for each question!! That's a lot man!

Sunday...

Feel like shouting out loud now!!!

Not studyin... listening to MayDay's songs loud...
Dunno why, just have this feeling of blasting songs, shouting loud!